Wanted urgently: People who know a half century-old computer language so states can process unemployment claims

On top of ventilators, face masks and health care workers, you can now add COBOL programmers to the list of what several states urgently need as they battle the coronavirus pandemic.

In New Jersey, Gov. Phil Murphy has put out a call for volunteers who know how to code the decades-old computer programming language called COBOL because many of the state’s systems still run on older mainframes.
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-Mark

Posted in You can't make this shit up | 22 Comments

Men, tell your wimmens you’re willing to help out

It’s no secret that we have always looked for that special skincare elixir that will keep our skin smooth, shiny, and young. I mean I’ll admit it, I have bought some moisturizers and face masks that are way too expensive, and haven’t really seen a difference. But, I still buy them because I want to believe they work. Well, what if I told you that people are now going to the extreme. What are they doing? They are rubbing semen on their faces.
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-John

Posted in WTF? | 6 Comments

The shit I post on Facebook

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Posted in FB | 7 Comments

Cruise ship, 1 – Venezuelan Navy, 0

In what sounds like it could be an April Fools joke, a Venezuelan Navy offshore patrol vessel recently sank after ramming a cruise liner in the Caribbean Sea. The cruise ship, which had no passengers on board at the time and has a reinforced hull to sail through ice-filled waters, suffered only minimal damage in what the operating company, Columbia Cruise Services, has called an “act of aggression … in international waters.”
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-Steve

Posted in You can't make this shit up | 10 Comments

It’s every man for himself

RIVERSIDE, Calif. (KCAL/KCBS/CNN) – Dozens of patients were evacuated from a skilled nursing facility in California, where 50 cases of COVID-19 have been confirmed, after employees failed to show up for work two days in a row.
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Posted in California | 6 Comments

This is a new problem in Sacramento?

As more people take precautions to protect themselves from COVID-19, another problem has emerged: littering.

Single-use plastic gloves are strewn across Sacramento parking lots and streets.
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Posted in California | 7 Comments

Thursday gifdump

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Posted in Gifs | 19 Comments

“YOU WILL COMPLY!”

The San Diego County Sheriff’s Dept. is leading a massive crackdown on citizens who are violating the state’s social distancing order.

Citations were handed out to a number of people who were parked in their cars near the beach — an apparent no-no these days in Communist California.
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*****

I’m having a hard time understanding this. California is turning real criminals loose from jail to prevent the spread of this virus (HERE) but they’re threatening citizens with six months in jail and a $1000 fine for not practicing ‘social distancing’?

Posted in California, To Protect and Serve, WTF? | 22 Comments

“Don’t you know who my husband is?”

ALTON, Ill. (KMOV.com) – The wife of Alton Mayor Brant Walker is being cited for allegedly violating Illinois’ stay-at-home order.

Police say she, along with others, were at a party at a bar early Sunday morning when officers broke the event up. Everyone at the party will face a reckless conduct charge.
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Posted in WTF? | 6 Comments

For me but not for thee

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot is facing backlash after she violated her own quarantine advice over the weekend to go to a salon for a haircut.

Lightfoot defended her decision by saying that she is the “public face of this city”.
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Posted in Liberals | 17 Comments

Your Thursday Morning Florida Report

SEMINOLE COUNTY, Fla. – Heroin, cocaine and a baby alligator were seized after Seminole County detectives located a stolen car on Thursday in an unincorporated part of Lake Mary, according to the Sheriff’s Office.
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Posted in Florida | 1 Comment

Good Morning

Posted in Gifs | 2 Comments

Incorrigible

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (WKRN) — Metro Police have arrested a man who was out on bond in a 2017 murder case after the man led Juvenile Crime Task Force investigators on a pursuit of a stolen BMW sedan.

According to Metro Police, 19-year-old Byron Berkley, whose murder case from age 16 is pending in adult court, was arrested Tuesday night on charges of vehicle theft, unlawful gun possession, felony evading arrest, leaving the scene of a crash, and driving without a license. His bond on the new charges is set at $50,000.
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Posted in Tennessee, Trashville | 3 Comments

Discouraging tailgaters 101

Posted in WTF? | 3 Comments

That’s gratitude for ya

A Wisconsin doctor had an underlying health condition and was worried about coronavirus, so she and her husband moved their daughter and her boyfriend to a separate residence for which the parents paid, prosecutors said Tuesday in court documents.
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Posted in News | 15 Comments

“No mommy, I haven’t seen Sissy anywhere”

Posted in funny pics | 1 Comment

10 to 1 she was meeting her connection

TRIGG COUNTY, Ky. (WKRN) — A 30-year-old woman has been charged with endangering her two children after they were found dead in a burning Kentucky home Tuesday afternoon.
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Posted in News | 3 Comments

Uh huh, we know what she’s been doing

Posted in WTF? | 12 Comments

The gift that keeps on giving

Radiation levels in the Chernobyl exclusion zone spiked 17 times over the normal background reading Sunday, the head of Ukraine’s ecological watchdog said Sunday, as forest fires blazed about 12 miles into the Chernobyl disaster area.

“There is bad news,” ecological inspection chief Yegor Firsov wrote in a Facebook post from the closed Chernobyl region. “At the center of the fire, radiation levels are high … readings are 2.3, when the normal level is 0.14.”
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What a nice welcome!

Posted in Babes, Gifs | 3 Comments