DC mayor: All shoppers at grocery stores must wear masks

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Washington, D.C., Mayor Muriel Bowser (D) is directing all grocery stores and food markets in the city to require customers to wear face masks before entering.

The order, which Bowser released on Twitter Wednesday night and discussed during a news conference Thursday, also requires all farmers’ markets in the city, including the D.C. seafood market, to apply for waivers in order to continue operations. Those waivers will only be granted to markets that provide plans for enforcing social distancing guidelines.
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–Stormfax

*****

Just before my bank closed their lobby down and made everybody start using the drive through window, I was inside filling out a deposit slip when a woman walked in wearing a particle mask and a handgun on her hip and all I could think of was, “Damn, I love small-town Tennessee”.

Posted in You can't make this shit up | 1 Comment

Florida Man lands in Hawaii

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

HONOLULU — A mayor in Hawaii is calling a Florida man accused of trying to flout Hawaii’s traveler quarantine a “covidiot.”

Kauai Mayor Derek Kawakami isn’t taking credit for coining the word borne from the COVID-19 pandemic, but said he “may be the first elected official to bust it out in public.”
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-Chris

Posted in Florida, You can't make this shit up | 2 Comments

Shit’s getting serious now

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Hooters of America LLC has eliminated 416 jobs at 14 corporate-owned North Carolina restaurants in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.
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-Kent

Posted in WTF? | 2 Comments

What’s next, making you stay in bed?

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

LANSING — After Friday, Michigan residents will no longer be able to jump in the car — or cross the street — to visit friends and relatives inside the state, or to go to the cottage Up North, with limited exceptions.

That is one of the major changes in Gov. Gretchen Whitmer’s “stay home” order, issued Thursday, which also extends the expiration of the order to May 1.
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-Stormfax

Posted in WTF? | 3 Comments

Friday gifdump

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

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Posted in Gifs | 6 Comments

Zero fucks given

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Malia Obama has not called off her supposed engagement with her boyfriend Rory Farquharson despite claims made by Globe magazine. Several wrong rumours about the oldest daughter of Barack and Michelle Obama have surfaced, including rumours about an engagement.

A follow up of the false report published in November last year made the rounds recently. According to Globe magazine, the wedding is called off because Farquharson was “caught on camera cuddling another beauty.”
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-Roger

Posted in News | 13 Comments

Chicago Mayor Lightfoot: Curfew On Liquor Sales Starts Thursday

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

CHICAGO (CBS) — After Tuesday night’s violence that left seven people dead and 14 injured, and the inability for some to follow the stay at home order, Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has placed a 9:00 p.m. liquor purchasing curfew starting Thursday.

“Effective April 9, we are placing a 9:00 pm curfew on liquor sales in Chicago. A liquor curfew will remain in place during Illinois Governor JB Pritzker’s stay-at-home order,” Lightfoot said.
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Posted in News, You can't make this shit up | 9 Comments

Who?

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

West Philadelphia native and rapper Chynna Rogers has died at 25, E! News confirmed.

In a statement to E! News, Rogers’ family said, “Chynna was deeply loved and will be sorely missed.” Her cause of death is currently unknown.
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Posted in News | 10 Comments

Your Friday Morning Florida Report

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

DeLAND, Fla. – A Florida man who drank a bottle of wine that he was unable to pay for at a Winn-Dixie then fled the store, ran a red light and caused a hit-and-run crash all with an 11-year-old girl in tow, according to the DeLand Police Department.
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Good Morning

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Posted in Cool Pics, Dogs | 4 Comments

When you fuck with the wrong man…..

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

CALAVERAS COUNTY (CBS13) — Deputies say a man who struck a person with his vehicle and drove away was found hours later tied to a telephone pole at the scene of the crime.

The incident happened last Friday around 4:30 p.m in Valley Springs. The Calaveras County Sheriff’s office said 29-year-old Thomas Bechtold was arguing with 47-year-old James Leslie at the intersection of Nall Street and Westhill Road. Bechtold reportedly got into his vehicle and hit Leslie, knocking him unconscious. Bechtold then drove off from the scene.
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Posted in California, News, You can't make this shit up | 4 Comments

I didn’t even need to see the sign to know he/she/it was a democrat

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Posted in Liberals, WTF? | 7 Comments

JACKPOT!!!

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

As many search for toilet tissue, Lysol wipes and other necessities amid the coronavirus pandemic, one brazen thief targeted a truckload of liquor instead.

Atlanta police are searching for a suspect they say stole a “trailer full of Jack Daniels,” in southeast Atlanta last week, according to a police report.
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-Dave

*****

They can keep that nasty shit. I prefer good bourbon over sour mash any day.

Posted in News | 4 Comments

Titties will do that, ya know

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Posted in funny pics | 1 Comment

Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs!!!

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

APRIL 7–A Florida Woman is facing a felony domestic battery charge after allegedly clobbering a man with a can of SpaghettiOs, a blow that left the victim with a large laceration on his head, cops say.

According to an arrest affidavit, the victim told police that after arriving “home from the hospital” Saturday afternoon he got into a verbal argument with Shadae Miranda. The victim and Miranda, 30, were sharing a room at a Travel Inn motel in Fort Pierce.
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Posted in Florida, You can't make this shit up | 1 Comment

Just sayin’

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Posted in funny pics, Guns | 12 Comments

Ed Drew

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

Ed Drew (August 22, 1865 – May 15, 1911) was an Arizona rancher, miner, and lawman in the final years of the Old West. He is most remembered for his family of pioneers and his death during a shootout near Ray.
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Posted in History | Leave a comment

I’m sure she’s taken, men

Posted on 04/10/2020 by Wirecutter

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Posted in Babes | 8 Comments

Wanted urgently: People who know a half century-old computer language so states can process unemployment claims

Posted on 04/09/2020 by Wirecutter

On top of ventilators, face masks and health care workers, you can now add COBOL programmers to the list of what several states urgently need as they battle the coronavirus pandemic.

In New Jersey, Gov. Phil Murphy has put out a call for volunteers who know how to code the decades-old computer programming language called COBOL because many of the state’s systems still run on older mainframes.
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-Mark

Posted in You can't make this shit up | 54 Comments

Men, tell your wimmens you’re willing to help out

Posted on 04/09/2020 by Wirecutter

It’s no secret that we have always looked for that special skincare elixir that will keep our skin smooth, shiny, and young. I mean I’ll admit it, I have bought some moisturizers and face masks that are way too expensive, and haven’t really seen a difference. But, I still buy them because I want to believe they work. Well, what if I told you that people are now going to the extreme. What are they doing? They are rubbing semen on their faces.
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-John

Posted in WTF? | 15 Comments