No sympathy here

Vance Maverick points down at the pavement with a chuckle. There on the concrete, close to the spot in San Francisco’s Mission District where the 42-year-old Google engineer catches a private commuter bus to Silicon Valley, is some faint political graffiti. It’s still possible to make out a crudely painted Google search box; before it faded, Maverick explains, the search terms read: “Trendy Google professionals help raise housing costs.”

It’s safe to say that sentiment still holds. In the Mission and across San Francisco, long-time locals are disturbed by the profusion of young, rich tech professionals moving into their neighbourhoods, driving up house prices and – inadvertently or not – driving out residents. The phenomenon has inspired impassioned essays in San Francisco magazine, the London Review of Books and The New Yorker.
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It’s all right when the Fucking Bay Area People did it to us here in the Valley but now that it’s happening to them they’re all in a tiff.
Back about 25 years ago it was possible to buy a decent house in the San Joaquin Valley for $40-60,0000 – then the real estate people here in the valley started advertising cheap housing to the Fucking Bay Area People that was available with only “an easy 1.5 hour commute”. At that time, 25 years ago, apartments in San Francisco were going for $200,000. Suddenly, they could afford a home only 1 1/2 hours away from their jobs. Hey, you can’t blame a person for wanting a better life for their kids, right? The problem was, they thought $100,000 for a ‘fixer-upper’ was a bargain so they willingly paid that which drove the home prices through the roof. Compounding that was the fact that Bay Area wages were triple what they were here so suddenly a living wage there made them wealthy here. I was making good money here at 10 bucks an hour and 5 years later I couldn’t survive on $12 an hour. My rent went from $175 a month to $700.

The migration brought other problems too. When the Fucking Bay Area People moved here they brought their liberal politics with them as well as their ‘Me, right now’ attitudes. Motherfuckers would buy a house out in the country right next to a dairy and then bring suit against the dairy because of the flies and smells. They would bring suit against farmers for plowing and working their fields at night – an age old practice anyplace the temps exceed 100 degrees during the day for months on end. It got so bad that the county had to pass a Right-To-Farm ordinance.

It wasn’t just the young professionals from San Francisco that came east, either. Motherfuckers from Oakland, South San Francisco, Richmond, Fremont and Hayward came t0o, bringing with them their gangs and crime rates. Suddenly we had gangs and drive by shootings.

But the worst problem they brought with them affected them the hardest – traffic congestion back and forth to the Fucking Bay Area. Because so many of them relocated they were jamming up the roads to the Bay Area and their “easy 1.5 hour commute” turned into a 3 hour commute – one way. So suddenly instead of spending a total of 3 hours on the road and 8 hours at work, they were spending 6 hours on the road and 8 hours at work. They were driving their Audis and Volvos and Beemers into the ground before they could pay them off. I overheard one guy in the grocery store complaining to another that between him and his wife they were making 4 car payments, two on cars they’ve junked already and two on the vehicles they were commuting in because the husband worked in San Francisco and his wife worked in San Jose. He was having to change the oil every weekend plus do yard work plus make home repairs. The poor fucker didn’t have any time to relax. Oh well, go back the Fucking Bay Area, man.
So yeah, I don’t feel a bit of sympathy for any of them.

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20 Responses to No sympathy here

  1. drjim says:

    Right on, Kenny!

    The people up in Oregon got real tired of the same shit, and had bumper stickers made that said “Don’t Californiacate Oregon”.

    Not that it did them much good…..

  2. Leavon says:

    Its spreading throughout the Northwest as well, the entire I-5 Cooridor is a basket case and now they’re moving east of the Casades and infecting Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho. We seriosly need to clean house.

  3. WiscoDave says:

    Wisconsin may be an option… Stay away from Milwaukee and Madison and you’ll do all right.

    • Wirecutter says:

      Too much white shit on the ground. I remember those pictures you sent me, when was that, back in July? Three feet of snow in your barnyard, cows frozen like popsicles and polar bears begging to be let in out of the storm?
      I’ll pass.

      • AlphaDelta says:

        Ever watch Steve McQueen in The Blob? The cold has positive affects.

        Just sayin’…

        • Sara says:

          Minnesota. Just stay away from the cities and life is good. And yes, the cold is good, that’s why we all look so young. It’s like food being preserved in the freezer, we just last a lot longer. And the occasional frostbite isn’t too bad.

  4. Semper Fi, 0321 says:

    I was a real estate agent in Boise in the early-mid 80’s. A real nice new starter home(1,200 sq ft) was $60,000, today all the dairy land for 20 miles west of town is covered with $300,000-500,000 homes and no more grazing land for cows/horses.
    I moved to Wyoming 20 yrs ago, best move of my entire life, just to get away from Silicon Valley North.

  5. da_truth36 says:

    Yeah, same thing happening here. Asshole Chapel Hill motherfuckers realized real estate was a whole lot cheaper here in Chatham County. Now, a whole lot of prime hunting and farm land has been replaced with upscale housing developments. Oh yeah, they brought their dipshit liberal politics with them. One of the bigger redneck counties in this state now has a liberal Chapel Hill democrat bitch as our representative in the state legislature.

  6. DAN III says:

    Yeah, and the assholes keep re-electing the fossils, Feinstein, Boxer, Pelosi and Waxman. Kaleefornya is lost.

  7. Struan Robertson says:

    Park Falls, Pierce County, WI. Just about as uniquely remote as you can get. 4 hrs to anywhere. But, they got a Wal Mart in Minocqua.

  8. Ruralcounsel says:

    Happens all over the country. In Vermont, the common wisdom is that native Vermonters can’t afford to stay in Vermont – no jobs, high taxes, expensive real estate. As the urban centers grow and expand out into the more rural ones, those that commute or telecommute can come in and take advantage of local economies and markets that scale differently than what they are used to. And yes, they bring their urban sensibilities, demands, and liberal voting patterns. The irony is that they pretty much ruin the rural or small town atmosphere they came for.

  9. mark says:

    sympathy………..

    go get some

    it’s in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis.

  10. Risky Whiskey says:

    fuck the bay area…best part of the last Star Trek movie was when Khan crashed his spaceship right into SF….made my fucking night.

  11. Philip Paul says:

    Damn, you just reminded me of a delivery truck driver we had at a rental yard I worked at in San Jose back in ’83.

    The crazy bastard drove back and forth from fucking Vacaville!

    I kept asking the dumb bastard why he didn’t get a job closer to home and he said there weren’t any that paid worth a shit. I guess gas didn’t figure in to his calculations.

    As for any sympathy for those poor sniveling assholes in The City, yeah, cry me a river.
    They did the same thing up here in SW Washington. Real estate has permanently gone through the fucking roof and they brought their privileged snotty fucking politics with ’em.

    Ass Holes.

    • Wirecutter says:

      I drive from the far side of Modesto to Tracy 4 days a week myself for the same reason and I give $50 a week for gas and that’s just for work, 80 miles a day round trip. The warehouse I work for pays 3 times what warehousing jobs pay closer to home so yeah, it’s worth it.
      I’ve been making that trip now give or take a few miles depending on where I was living for 22 years now.

  12. Joe says:

    I have been watching the same thing happen to rural Colorado since i moved back almost 15 years ago.
    I have watched as rich Californians, Texans and New Yorkers carve up some of the prettiest ranch and farm land in the state and turn it into strip malls condos and subdivisions. Where you could once fly fish and swim, is pollution, concrete and graffiti. Oh and watch out for the pack of rabid spandex sporting cyclists and their $1000 bikes!

  13. iggy says:

    For some reason they avoid areas with clotheslines in the front yard, Confederate flags & unwashed vehicles sporting rifle racks?

  14. Inbredredneck says:

    I left the Bay Area in ’81 for Shasta County, now in the wilds of Butte County and it’s gettin’ to be too liberal for me. F’ing dope growers are doin’ the same thing to property values that the suburbanites did a few years ago. Need to split the State. Anything south of Marysville/Yuba-dooba City is already Southern California, far as I’m concerned.

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