Wirecutter’s Rules of Civility

Treat my wife with more respect than you give me. She will let you know by her attitude the level of familiarity she’s comfortable with.

Do not talk shit about my family or friends to me. The very least I will do is call them in front of you and tell them. Plus you might get your ass beat.

If you cheat on your wife, stay away from me. If she can’t trust you, neither can I.

Be courteous to women and the elderly when we’re together.

My Security
Do not touch my weapons (guns or knives) without my permission. Ever.

Stay at least 2 feet away from me unless you know I have your trust.

If you are carrying a firearm, let me know before you enter my home. I won’t ask you to disarm yourself, I just want to know about it.

If you read/answer a text or answer a call while we’re talking, I will assume our conversation is over and walk away. If it’s important, excuse yourself.

Do not ask me for my number. If I want you to have it, I will give it to you.

Do not call me before 8 AM, after 9 PM, or between 5 and 6:30 PM which is my supper time unless you’re in jail or somebody’s dead or dying.

If I don’t answer the phone the first time you call, do NOT immediately call me back. There’s a reason I didn’t answer.

Don’t expect me to answer my cell phone. I rarely carry it with me. I check my email more often than I check my phone.

Common Courtesy
If anybody interrupts our private conversation and you start talking to them, I will leave. They are obviously more important to you than I am.

If you say you’ll meet me somewhere at a certain time, be there. My time is important to me.

If you have an issue with me, come to me with it and not somebody else. I’m a reasonable man and will attempt to talk it out.

Do not, under any circumstances, give my dogs anything or attempt to discipline them. That’s my job.

Do not come to my home without calling first unless I give you my express permission. There may be things going on that are none of your business or I just may not be in the mood for company.

If you owe me money and can’t pay me, don’t avoid me. Let me know – I understand shit happens. Trust me on this.

If you borrow something and you lose it or break it, let me know. Chances are I’ll blow it off or at least help you replace it.


So there you have it. They’re not hard rules to follow, as a matter of fact they’re all just pretty much common courtesy and you can expect me to follow the same rules.
I’m a nice guy, I have a thick skin and enjoy being fucked with as long as it’s not mean-spirited. I will go out of my way to help you out if I know you need help.
I’ve learned that it’s true we’re known by the company we keep. If you surround yourself with scoundrels, you’re a scoundrel. Keep the company of honorable men and women, and you’ll be known as a Person of Honor.

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39 Responses to Wirecutter’s Rules of Civility

  1. Grog says:

    Those are resonable guidelines, did someone get pissed off because they were being rude and you called them on it?

  2. Wraith says:

    Didn’t this shit used to be known as “common courtesy?”

  3. Mark says:

    Very reasonable rules. But you are a reasonable person until someone violates the rules.

  4. GunMonkey says:

    Nothing unreasonable here. I like it.

  5. I kinda like it when I loan someone money and they avoid me. Usually it means money well spent to get rid of them :)

  6. drjim says:

    Damn good set of rules.

    The world would be a better place if more people followed rules like those.

  7. Bootmaker says:

    common courtesy is a rare commodity these days.
    i learned it at the end of a belt…when that was still legal.
    by todays standards, my mom would’ve ended up in jail.
    but i thank her for my upbringing.
    i learned to always say please n than you.
    i learned respect for my elders.
    and i learned the difference between right and wrong.
    i dont always do right, but i know the diff. and i know that doing wrong has consequences.
    people just dont bother with such niceties anymore.
    i too ,hate people.
    but i hate them all equally.
    im a total believer in equal opportunity hatred for all mankind.

  8. Csvefogg says:

    Ya know wirecutter I may, thru fault of my own, work for the feds but damnit I cannot argue wirh a single one of those rules. I so hope one day I can earn the honor of meeting you.

  9. Pirate Morgan says:

    They are also the same reasons your government hates you

  10. Rob in Katy says:

    “i too ,hate people.
    but i hate them all equally.
    im a total believer in equal opportunity hatred for all mankind.” – Word!
    I find most of the guys that I ride dirt bikes with are like minded…maybe it’s the same guys that take responsibility for their own actions – hard to blame a tree when you whack it :)

  11. hiswiserangel says:

    And if you really piss him off, he’ll smile at you, call you Sweetpea and ban your ass.
    Or worse.

  12. MW@PNG says:


  13. Neil R says:

    I’m a pretty heavy duty misanthrope but it’s probably because most of the people I’ve come in contact with would violate most of the outline you have here.
    I’d also say that you didn’t even have to publish the list and I’d know it and follow it without any problem just because I’ve detected the “kindred spirit” factor in you and just about everyone that regularly posts here.
    I’d definitely share my good scotch with you.

    • John Henry says:

      Nice message. You can add my name to bottom of that. WC’s list was programmed into me when the programmers of children were still sane.

  14. Ilovemy45 says:

    Very well said.

  15. livin to ride says:

    thats basically the way it should be –
    have you seen this

    jerry s in the comments nailed it square on the head

    She’s not the right color. Only brown people are allowed in the USA.

  16. Tim K says:

    It’s all about respect, too many don’t have it anymore. Thanks.

    • Ofay Cat says:

      ONe must first have self-repect in order to respect others. Liberals have no self respect, they have fake self-esteem that was pumped up their ass with every ‘participation’ ribbon and badge they received for being by-standers of life.

  17. Jon Dougery says:

    Sage advice from a very wise man! Thank you, Knuckles…!

  18. madminute says:

    simple rules make for an better existence, I’m on station!

  19. Michael in Nelson says:

    The world would be a lot more courteous and peaceful if anyone who violated one of your rules was properly disciplined the first time they broke one.

  20. Deb says:

    Thank you for saying what parents should have said to their kids. So what to do you say to the mom who told her 4-year-old boy to go pee on the curb in front of her car at the supermarket while she unloaded her groceries as I pulled in opposite them and saw him drop his drawers and pee 6″ from my tires?

  21. MM says:

    When I’ve “loaned” money to friends in the past, one of two things happen-they become scarce, in which case like pioneer said, for a few dollars, you own them or you’re repaid.

    Either way, I’ve always figured the money is gone and so it’s up to them to take the next step-if our friendship, or whatever the fuck it was, means so little that you take money and then I don’t see you, it was money well spent.

    All in all man, a good set of markers.

  22. MAJ Wolf says:

    Hence the reason I find myself alone 99% of the time. If you violate my rules, which are similar to yours, I will drop/avoid that person.

  23. crazyeighter says:

    Along with “be there on time” there’s “keep your promises.”

  24. Hillbilly says:

    Congratulations,III Senior Policy Director . Based on what you just said…You’ll be a good one, You have my support.

  25. Stubborn says:

    I’m not always the best at judging people, so I pay attention to who they hang out with, and that usually tells me enough about them.

  26. jay352 says:

    You have summed up everything that I believe perfectly. As to the weapon thing , I tell newbies that they have a better chance of touching my dick than my gun. Great rules and I can tell that you are a man who walks in self righteousness and honor

  27. Mr. Bits says:

    Like my mother always said, “There is one thing in life I cannot tolerate – a liar, a cheat, and a thief. I believe that if we lived our lives by the Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, or its corollary – What goes around comes around, everything takes care of itself. Of course, up here in Canada when we ask our guests what they’re carrying, we’re more than likely wondering whether it’s grown indoors or out, not its caliber.

  28. groverat says:

    Not a bad set of rules. someone who can’t abide by those is not worth time or trust, or wasted breath.

  29. Jeff says:

    Wirecutter, regarding your last paragraph, I have my own expression; The virgin does not hang out with the whores. Two trueisms here, first being, you are known by the company you keep. Second, bad company corrupts good morals. Hope you like and if you do; feel free to use it.

    Common courtesy is NOT common. Remember the culture that we find ourselves in today, has gone insane.

  30. now that I am retired I don’t have to put up with people who really piss me off, aka some bosses! Your rules are the norm in my life and with your permission I will print them out and mount them in my house so everyone can know how to deal with me!

  31. G. Davisd says:

    “old school” …wouldnt that be nice ?

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