Whew. That was close.

A man was on the water for his weekly fishing trip. He began his day with an 8 pound bass on the first cast and a 7 pound on the second. On the third cast he had just caught his first ever bass over 11 pounds when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he’d be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best day ever on the water. He decided to get in a couple of more casts before heading to the hospital.

He ended up fishing the rest of the morning, finishing his trip with a stringer like he’d never seen, with 3 bass over 10 pounds. He was jubilant until he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife’s condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted “You went ahead and finished your fishing trip didn’t you! I hope you’re proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the pond your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It’s just as well you went ahead and finished because it will be more than likely the last fishing trip you ever take! For the rest of her life she will require around the clock care. Feeding her, bathing her, even wiping her ass. And you’ll be her care giver forever!”

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor then chuckled and said “I’m just fuckin’ with ya. She’s dead. What’d you catch?”
-Mr ORSM

About Wirecutter

III Percenter to the fucking core, trying to stay one step ahead of my wife Miss Lisa and my liberal dog CharlieGodammit and his old lady, Li'l Lucy.
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5 Responses to Whew. That was close.

  1. cato1776 says:
    Oh shit, I was laughing and my wife wanted to know what was so funny !

    Nuttin’ honey, I think I’ll go fishing tomorrow…….

  2. Philip Paul says:
    Yer kidding me, you read ORSM? I’ve been visiting that Aussie for ten years at least.

    LMAO!
    Some good shit there, funny ass jokes too.

  3. Brian says:
    I’m laughing my ass off… why am I laughing my ass off? My wife has MS and I know the reality of that joke but it was still funny, I guess I’m going to hell.
  4. MM says:
    Guy and his wife are expecting. The day comes and they rush to the hospital. After the delivery, the doctor comes out and says, “Your wife is doing fine but there’s a problem with your new son. He was born without a body, he’s just a head. You can raise him as you would a normal child but you will need to accommodate him in some ways”

    Well the guy and his wife are pretty broken up but they take the child home and do the best they can.

    As luck would have it, on the child’s eighth birthday, dad gets a call from the hospital, “We’ve got great news for you, we’ve found a torso and we can attach your child’s head to it. He can lead a normal life!”

    Dad rushes home to tell his son, he comes into his room and says, “I’ve got the greatest birthday present for you son, it’ll change your life.”

    The son looks up and says, “Oh yeah, it better not be another fucking hat.”

    from Carson’s autobiography

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