Okay, I admit there are parts of culture that I’ve never been exposed to yet, and probably never will get a glimpse of in this life and hopefully not the next one either if this shit is any kind of an example of what I’d be in for.
I cannot for the life of me understand why folks want to make their food pretty, so pretty that it outclasses the taste of the portion itself. The only reason I can think of is because the food’s just so-so. And if it wasn’t to begin with, it will be by the time it gets to your table with all the time they spent fucking around with it. It’s either going to be stale, hot or melting, depending on the course.
Not to say that your food can’t look appetizing as well as delicious, not trying to say that at all. Take a look at this pho for instance.
Now here we have a bowl of broth with thin slices of pork lining the sides to keep them moist and a pile of delicate noodles with sprouts on top. Functional and delicious. This is okay, I can live with this. Oh boy, can I live with that. I love that shit.
But this shit?
Are you fucking serious? Some motherfucker’s going to wait for days or even weeks for his reservation to get into some overpriced sissified joint for the privilege of paying a couple hundred bucks (or more, I have no idea what something like that would cost) for something that can be devoured with 2 scoops of my fork and a swipe from a biscuit – after pictures, of course. That shit makes no sense whatsoever to me.
If I’m going to pay more than 50 bucks for dinner and you bring me this, I better get a goddamned lap dance with it.
Nope, just bring me my food. I’m easy to work with here – give me some meat (an end piece please so I can gnaw on the rind), some potatoes and gravy and some vegetables. And don’t waste no time arranging shit on it either. Bring it to me when it’s still hot and let the food speak for itself.
Here’s my kinda food – catfish, mashed potatoes and gravy, collards and a chunk of cornbread. Plus it’s eye appealing without being so fucking pretty that you feel bad about eating it. Judging by the table covering and the dab of potatoes on the side of the plate, I’d say you could probably score this meal here for under 20 bucks with beverage.
Yeah, fuck all that fancy shit.