Why oh why would he suspect me?

Last week at the Greg the Whiney Li’l Bitch came up and asked if I’ve heard about Mike So-and-so. Now this guy has 20 years out there but still has another 20 to go before he can retire because of all the time he’s been off on disability for his back, neck, knees, whatever the doctors haven’t already repaired. He comes back to work, stays long enough to build his disability payments back up and goes back out. Kinda worthless, you know?
“Nah, what now?” I wasn’t really all that interested and he was going to tell me anyways so I might as well act like I gave a fuck.
Greg looks all grim and shit. “Cancer. He lost a nut. I’ll be taking up a collection for him over the next few daysto tide him over until his disability kicks in.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I don’t care for him, but I’ll kick in a few bucks for sure.”

The next afternoon Greg comes back up to me. “Will you fucking quit it? It’s not funny. Just fucking stop. I know it’s you, goddammit.”
“Who me? Quit what? What are you talking about, Bro?”
“QUIT PUTTING NUTS IN THE DONATION BOX MOTHERFUCKER!!!”

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7 Responses to Why oh why would he suspect me?

  1. Leigh says:

    Well, once you get a reputation…..
    Regardless – that is funny as shit !

    Leigh
    Whitehall, NY

  2. Nic says:

    That is funny!

  3. Timbo says:

    Sweet!
    Brilliantly evil!

  4. ignore amos says:

    My wife found a product called “Neuticuls” or something like that. Prosthetic balls for your neutered puppie’s self esteem.

  5. livin to ride says:

    so tell … what kind of nuts were you putting in the box

  6. ChuckN says:

    Ever laugh so hard you squirt cranberry
    juice through your nose? Ever do it
    when you have a cold? Just replace the
    keyboard. Trust me.

Play nice.