Fuck The World

I’ve been horribly sick for the past 7-8 days with some weird fucking virus that’s been going around. My appetite is fine, not much of a fever, but monster headaches, muscle cramps and no git up and go whatsoever. Oh yeah, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes and some serious drainage down my throat with a lot of hacking up weird colored shit.
I got hammered with it Saturday and Sunday, felt decent on Monday and Tuesday – like I was pulling out of it, and got worse during the week.
Now Miss Lisa’s got it. And she’s pissed because she wouldn’t kiss me all week so she wouldn’t get sick, but I kept sneaking up behind her and licking her or sticking my tongue in her ear. Fucking woman’s got no sense of humor at all, man.

And then Friday night, her sister kicked off her week-long birthday party and I had to stop off after work to socialize and pick up Miss Lisa and bring her home. I bet I infected a good 40 people, shaking hands with and hugging on everybody I came across. Some of the folks I caught twice just to make sure. Fuck ’em. That’s what they get for inviting me to a goddamned party.

So yeah, I’m still sick and now I get to spend the next few days at home taking care of Lisa. She takes care of me, I take care of her. That’s how it works around here, and if I forget she’s quick to remind me.
That means cooking (or going after food), running errands and answering the goddamned telephone. Myself, I’m perfectly content to either turn it completely off or at least let the machine pick it up, but she’s one of those folks that just can’t do that and she won’t let me either.

So yeah, that’s been my week.

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21 Responses to Fuck The World

  1. Tom says:

    Go get some fucking zinc lozenges and suck on them. If you can’t do that gargle with warm salt water for a while. If that don’t work, try the wool sock flu therapy. Yeah I know I’m full of crazy ideas but some of them fucking work. And you did try your garlic cloves in apple cider vinegar that you keep on the window sill all fucking year didn’t you? Spoonful of that shit goes a long way toward making you better. Stay healthy man.

  2. Riley says:

    The wife, me and the 5 kids have all been sick with that shit. Takes about a month to get over it. Don’t know what it is but its evil as fuck.

  3. Angel says:

    That’s what knocked the Teen Queen out of her Prom this year and she’s still, 8 days later, coughing like a 4-pack a day smoker with one lung. It’s an ugly viral thing and nothing you can do or take works.
    Sorry y’all are down with it.

  4. drjim says:

    My wife’s been sick with what sounds like the same thing.

    Takes a good two weeks to get rid of it.

  5. Angeleyes says:

    Well Ken, your problem is obvious. You have not been wearing your tin foil hat! I wear mine every day and I never get sick. I mean, I lost my job, wife and the dog bit me and then ran away, but sick? Nosirreee Bob!
    Just kidding. There really is some seriously nasty shit going around lately. I’ve had it, wife, kids, mother, co workers. It sucks. I’m going on 5 weeks and finally stopped bringing up oysters this weekend.
    Take care, what don’t kill ya is true. Mom’s 85 and shook it faster than I did.

  6. Yeah well Kenny, Had a few hundred or so of them days in my days.. Heck, pop a coujple of 300mg aspirins, and you’ll be good to go!! (Works for me..most of the time..).. PS: thank your stars for Lisa, She’s gots to be a winner!!!

  7. AC says:

    A month from now: TV Reporter says “The global pandemic has been traced to Patient Zero, a man in northern California . . . . 4 billion dead, and counting . . .”

    I think I’ve seen this movie.

  8. danielkday says:

    I got that a couple weeks ago, just swollen tonsils for a few days, then my wife had me gargle with some Japanese stuff. It wore off the next day.

  9. Ed says:

    I had that shit real bad for 2 weeks, was spitting up green and gray crap from lungs. Managed to survive by taking 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar along with 2 benadryls before bed, and that dried me out enough that I wasn’t hacking all night.

    Was nice to get some sleep without waking up and trying to hack up a lung!

    Just picked up some of the organic apple cider vinegar which I’m sure is much better than the standard stuff I was using, but the regular stuff still dried me out good.

    I know it worked, ’cause when I was still sick I missed a night taking it, and felt really bad the next day. Started back in and was fine. Took 3 weeks to finally get to where I felt decent again.

    My good boating buddy told me a lot of guys at work had this, then were coming down with pneumonia; so don’t let it go that far.

    Throw all the natural remedies you’ve got at it! Some bourbon and honey wouldn’t hurt, either!

    Both of you get well soon……….ed

  10. Dan says:

    It’s a rhinovirus…..there are hundreds of variants but they all cause cold symptoms, some more nasal, some more achy but they are all variants on the same theme. Been seeing plenty of them
    in the ER lately. The only real cure is time but plenty of fluids, some vitamin C and maybe some
    chicken soup won’t hurt. Just beware it can develop into pneumonia so keep an eye on fever,
    chills/shakes and coughing. If it hurts your chest to breath in deep see someone.

  11. Old Enuff says:

    Been there, done that, didn’t like it..

    Best cure we found of the home treatments, was colloidal silver – at least 500 strength.

    If you remember it twice a day, use 6 drops each time. If you forget, 15-18 before bedtime.

    Echinacea helped moderate the lung problems, and Fenu thyme kept the sinuses from getting as involved.

    Silver seemed to be the most effective at making it leave, though. If you have a helper, or are helping, 2-3 drops in each nostril every couple days does alot.

    Late stages calls for unusual amounts of water intake, for whatever reason.
    Plus, make certain you don’t get chilled, or it will be right back at full strength.

    Good luck.

    • Tom says:

      I also put drops up my nose and in my eyes when it gets nasty. Specially if you wake up with crusty eye or start to get stuffy as fuck.

  12. crazyeighter says:

    You people are starting to make me glad I’m a recluse.

    Take care of y’selves, y’hear?

  13. pdwalker says:

    Three weeks and counting for me. Horrible shit.

  14. Granny says:

    Thorry yer thick mate.. I figured something was wrong when the posts stopped appearing. Being sick is so fucking awful, it hurts, it interferes with your life, and just plain pisses you off big time.
    Get well soon!

  15. Crustyrusty says:

    Flu’s a bitch this year still, and the shot wasn’t exactly effective

  16. Bootmaker says:

    It is ALWAYS easier to go/send out for dinner than it is to cook.
    even when yer not sick
    try extra large doses of vitamin C and B-12 combination …wont exactly cure ya,
    but makes ya feel better anyway.

    • Wirecutter says:

      Eh, I’m cooking. She doesn’t have much of an appetite anyway so it ain’t no big deal. Steak and eggs for dinner, quick and easy, you know?

  17. Deb says:

    Glad I read this and all the comment, and hope you all get better before Christmas. I’m on day 11 of this crap, was about to make dr’s appt, then I read the comments. Not going to dish out $150 bucks for a 2 min. appt. only to be told to go home, rest and drink plenty of fluids. Instead I will rest when I can, drink some gin and spit on doorknobs in hopes it comes back to the bastard who gave it to me.

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