I’ve been asked more than once what my obsession with bacon is. Is it a stage? A vitamin deficiency? A weird fucking fetish? What???
Hold on to your seats, motherfuckers. Here comes a shocking revelation…..
My grandmother used to smear my lips with bacon grease when I was a baby to get me to eat my more mundane baby foods like green beans and taters. She told me when I was in my 30s, and strangely enough we were sharing some bacon when she was reminded of that.
No lie. Grandma waren’t no dummy. She knew what the good shit was. I really really really miss my Grandma Audrey.
It’s funny, but when I think of my family migrating her from Oklahoma, I think of the movie and book (more of the book) ‘Grapes Of Wrath’. It’s a fairly accurate description of my family’s trials, troubles and perseverance.
In the book Grandpa is my great grandfather David as I knew him in his later years. My great grandmother Lilly would be Grandma as I knew her in later years also. But my grandma Audrey could be portrayed as Rose of Sharon in her early years, Ma Joad in the years when I was growing up and later, sadly, Grandma Joad. I say sadly because the woman will always be in her 40s in my heart. It pains me to think of her growing old. It brings me to tears now to just think about it. It really does, no other relative can claim that from me.
She was a very loving and gracious woman. I love her every bit as much now as I did then. She was probably the biggest influence on my life and I don’t mean that as a slight on my parents in any way. It’s just that when I was a kid, my dad was overseas, my mother was working nights trying to support us and because of that, we lived with our grandparents. It just happened to be in my formative years, whatever the fuck those are.
But yeah, my grandma taught me right. She was a poor woman, but very proud. Oh God, she was proud. “We may be poor, but we ain’t trash.” I gotta tell you, even though I can joke about it now, it would’ve hurt her to see some of my posts in my Okies category. I mean those as no disrespect to you, Grandma. You know that. I know the hardships you went through, yes ma’am, I surely do. You played a major part in who I am right now.
I love you as I do my own mother ever though you did rip me off with those damned Yankee Dimes. I figure you owe me about 3 million bucks, Lady. I’ll be collecting soon enough and I’ll take Yankee Dimes again in welcome payment.
God bless ye, Grandma.