I got your package today bro, and it’s very much appreciated, both the thought and the gift.

I went in to the post office and there was a package waiting for me – I don’t remember ordering anything but that don’t mean shit. Besides, I love it when I forgot that I ordered something.

The real fun started as soon as the clerk handed it to me. It was beat to shit, semi shapeless and ripped and torn but intact. And it had an APO address on it. Who do I know in Germany? Is the name familiar? Ooooh, it’s heavy. It says glassware on the tag. I should shake it, huh? IT SLOSHES!!!


I had a mile and a half drive home and my mind beat me there it was racing so fast. I never thought I would get so fucking excited over something that sloshed. I beat feet into the house where I was met by Miss Lisa wanting to know what was in the package and what’s all the war whooping about.
“Is it for me?”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who’s it from?”
“I don’t know.” You’re probably envying my communication skills right now.
“Is it safe to open inside the house? Should me and the dogs go out back?”
“Are you sure?”
“What makes you so sure?”
“It’s from Germany.”
“What’s that have to do with anything?”
“It sloshes.” And with that I finally wrestled the package open and started cutting away the bubble wrap and pulled away a bottle of Jagermeister. I haven’t drank Jagermeister since I left Germany. Not only was there a bottle in there, but also 2 very nice heavy Jagermeister drinking glasses to drink it from.

It’s going to be a great New Years Eve celebration this year, drinking fine nostalgic German liquor out of glasses that don’t have threaded mouths. Thank you.

This entry was posted in Wirecutter. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to MATTHEW!!!

  1. tfA-t says:

    Is German Jagermeister different from what is sold in the states? Or doesn’t CA sell it?

    • Wirecutter says:

      Damned if I know. It’s the thought that counts anyway – Matthew obviously knew I spent a lot of time in Germany and missed it. It will be a very nostalgic evening.

  2. drjim says:

    Oh, boy….Jagermeister.

    I got soooo sick drinking that stuff once, that I just about swore off it.

    I had a buddy who tried it once and he said he’d rather drink Vicks Formula 44!

  3. Barry says:

    Liquid alzheimer’s! Or liquid pants remover for certain gals.

  4. Lazarus Long says:

    Oh, Yeah! 3rd AD Reforger 1983

    Also, the Go-To beverage for my ski patrol group back here in the USA.

  5. AC says:

    Anybody else notice that packages marked ‘fragile’ or ‘glassware’ have been beat up 10x worse than stuff that isn’t so labeled?

    I’ve noted that our mail delivery girl does not ring the doorbell when she delivers these packages, and she hurries off after leaving them on the porch.

    • Wirecutter says:

      It wasn’t labeled it in big letters, actually a tiny little tag. It was in so much bubble wrap it probably could’ve survived an airplane crash. I like a cautious man.

  6. tapthis says:

    Maybe in your hallucinogenic state it was a fucking blow up doll, ya twang banger…lol

  7. livin to ride says:

    Is it safe to open inside the house? Should me and the dogs go out back?”.LOL….

    is there something you aint telling us…

  8. Being the well travelled retired GI Thailand, Korea,Germany,Korea,Korea,Portugal… and having an ex zommie next door, who never Montana, I’ve been introducing him to Jaegermeister in the shot bottles, Vinho Verde wine, US sold German beer… His daughter is in the AF and visiting and I gave he a shot bottle of jaeger, and she mentioned Jaeger and Red Bull mixted together… Sigh. Kids these days. You’d probably get about the same wake up as a Rx bottle of GI GIN.


If your comment 'disappears', don't trip - it went to my trash folder and I will restore it when I moderate.