I got your package today bro, and it’s very much appreciated, both the thought and the gift.
I went in to the post office and there was a package waiting for me – I don’t remember ordering anything but that don’t mean shit. Besides, I love it when I forgot that I ordered something.
The real fun started as soon as the clerk handed it to me. It was beat to shit, semi shapeless and ripped and torn but intact. And it had an APO address on it. Who do I know in Germany? Is the name familiar? Ooooh, it’s heavy. It says glassware on the tag. I should shake it, huh? IT SLOSHES!!!
I had a mile and a half drive home and my mind beat me there it was racing so fast. I never thought I would get so fucking excited over something that sloshed. I beat feet into the house where I was met by Miss Lisa wanting to know what was in the package and what’s all the war whooping about.
“Is it for me?”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who’s it from?”
“I don’t know.” You’re probably envying my communication skills right now.
“Is it safe to open inside the house? Should me and the dogs go out back?”
“Are you sure?”
“What makes you so sure?”
“It’s from Germany.”
“What’s that have to do with anything?”
“It sloshes.” And with that I finally wrestled the package open and started cutting away the bubble wrap and pulled away a bottle of Jagermeister. I haven’t drank Jagermeister since I left Germany. Not only was there a bottle in there, but also 2 very nice heavy Jagermeister drinking glasses to drink it from.
It’s going to be a great New Years Eve celebration this year, drinking fine nostalgic German liquor out of glasses that don’t have threaded mouths. Thank you.