“Lots of blood….. which I personally prefer”

A couple of hours ago I started getting fucking blasted with emails, all of them along the same lines – “Seriously?” and “Can you believe this silly son of a bitch?”
Yup, Kerodin again. I had to go see for myself as much as I hated giving him traffic.

Kerodin has a post up on his site instructing folks on how to kill with a garrote, explicit instructions, and then has a link to where you can buy your very own made-by-III-Arms garrote for only $130 and lessons at his dojo too!

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I don’t even know where to start.

Fuck it, let’s start with the most obvious question here. How in the hell can Shortstuff use a garrote anyway? He can’t jump that fucking high.

Second thing, Wirecutter’s gonna save you some money here if you really are coming down with Sammy Sydrome (illusions of grandeur, impulsive lying, the constant need for attention) – go down and buy a dowel at your local hardware store, some piano wire from your local (gotta shop local) music store, saving yourself about 110 bucks. Sure, you won’t get a free lesson that way, but you can read up on it yourself and get the same information that you would’ve gotten from Sam Kerodin because he has no firsthand experience no matter what he wants you to believe.
By the way, if you’re one of those folks that still believe anything he says after the lies we’ve exposed, look up in the right hand corner of your screen. See that little red box with the x in it? Right click that.

But look at the bullshit he’s spreading again about ‘getting wet’.

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He’s a fucking HVAC guy for Christ’ sake. There are not a lot of opportunities for murder in that trade.

Oh shit, I almost forgot about the III on the ends of the dowel. You can use a sharpie or even a soldering iron to burn it in if you want get all high speed and shit. It won’t look as good as his though. I mean that’s if you want to put an identifying mark that can be traced back to you on a weapon that has no other purpose other than to kill. That’s up to you.

Let’s talk techniques here: I have never ‘gotten wet at belt buckle range’ with a knife as a civilian, or military either for that matter. I’ve been cut and have cut before but a 3 or 4 stitch repair job doesn’t really qualify as getting wet especially when you’re so fucked up you slap a pressure bandage on it and go back into the bar to continue drinking.
I have never been instructed in the use of either a garrote or a fighting knife. I understand from a few folks that they did receive instruction in it but they were in specialized units in combat arms. I asked if they ever used a garrote or ever heard first hand of one actually being used. I’m still waiting on a few emails but I’ve yet to get a single answer saying yes. There are much easier and quieter ways to kill a man close up – shooting him with a suppressed 22 which makes a hell of a lot less noise than all the thrashing around a strangling man would make in the 3 to 8 seconds Kerodin says it would take him to expire. Or how about a double edge dagger to the throat or neck? There’s several places there that would kill him quicker and quieter. Shit, driving a sharp heavy blade through the back of the neck severing the spine would work better.

But now let’s talk legalities here:

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A non-profit, a fucking non-profit mind you, is selling deadly weapons as an incentive to join or renew with an offer for free lessons. By the way, as a non-profit he is required by law to disclose all donors – George Patton proved that in one of his posts – and dues paying members are donors. So when the federales get that list for tax purposes (and they will no matter what Kerodin says or he’ll ‘catch a case’) and see who renewed during this limited time offer and they now know you received a weapon that has no other purpose than to kill and which may not be legal in your state to own. You can’t even call it a paperweight, man. It has absolutely no legitimate purpose other than deliberately taking a human life – homicide in most cases, First degree in fact because it’s obviously premeditated – you don’t kill in self defense with a fucking garrote. It is a close up offensive weapon and therefore would qualify you for the death penalty under the special circumstances clause as an ambush.

And if he refuses to ship to a state where it’s illegal, then he’s knuckled under to the government, something he does quite regularly concerning his absence of his 2A Rights. Then there was the fact that while he went to the ‘Barrycade’ protest when the federal government shut down, he didn’t touch a single barricade himself because he didn’t want to ‘catch a case’, knuckling under again. Jim Miller was there with him and he told me that little fact.

And this weapon is manufactured by III Arms? A company that was founded with the intent of making firearms and did in fact produce 21 rifles and pistols combined making it a legitimate firearms manufacturer, at least at that time? I’m pretty sure that’s a huge no-no and probably just guaranteed that the federales will never grant them a license even if he could find an FFL 007 holder that would risk his license to be associated with somebody that advocates murder of all police officers, federal employees and anybody else that disagrees with him.

While I’m thinking of it, see the top screenshot and at the top saying “All revenue generated by III Gear goes directly to support III Patriot Projects and Operations nationwide” highlighted in yellow? Yeah. Just try asking him for an accounting of it – checks written, wire transfers, all that good shit and see where it gets you. All of a sudden you’ll be a racist, a klansman, a national socialist and a member of the FSA.

And finally, will these garrote lessons at his kiddie dojo be between the toddlers and grade school classes?

I swear, every time I decide that I’m going to quit talking shit about him unless he fucks up again, he does just that. He’s ripping people off with overpriced products and offering lessons in a technique that he has absolutely no experience using.
But at least you’ll get a fancy certificate to hang on your wall next to your certificate of the proper use of kaka-lube.

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40 Responses to “Lots of blood….. which I personally prefer”

  1. 15Fixer says:

    Hey Kenny, I guess that means you didn’t get the email from the III% society telling us that Cleveland will be a major scene of action for the RNC convention, and he is asking for more funds ($10,000 worth) to fund the short-bus going to facilitate ‘communications. I’ll forward the email if you want.
    Some people are just incapable of learning. The rest are just morons.

    • Wirecutter says:

      Yes, forward it along, please.

      • Gator says:

        WC, Im not 100% sure if you were trying to be funny with this post or not, but I laughed my ass off. Maybe its just how absurd this kerodin character is, how stupid that entire idea sounds, or what, but this was fuckin’ hilarious.

  2. AC says:

    Home Depot sells wire rope, aluminum rod, ferrules, and swaging tools.

    For $130, you could probably buy all the tools you need plus the hardware for at least a couple dozen snares, or maybe fix your garage door opener a couple of times, or whatever.

    They sell cheap ball-pein hammers, too, in various sizes. I hear they can be used for hitting stuff.

    Anybody want to buy a $130 tactical hammer? I’ll draw “III” on it with a permanent marker if you want.

    • jessejames87 says:

      My thoughts exactly. Hahahaha, if I’m going to be all super-spy man I’m going to use what I know I know how to use. I was pretty familiar with a framing hammer one upon a time and I reckon something like that to the back of a mellon might be a little more realistic than the ninja-warrior way. Another point to consider is exactly how common hammers are vs. garrotes. Almost everyone I know has a hammer, I don’t know anyone with a garrote. Plausible deniability is your friend. Plus lets, be real. It’s dowel rods and some braided steel for $130. If someone really wants one I’ll make you one and get a professional airbrush guy I know to draw whatever the hell you want on it for half that shipped lol.

  3. Time to start selling pointed sticks…

  4. skybill says:

    Hi Kenny,
    Hehehehehehehehehehehhehheehehe!!!! This is Funny!!!!! Jeeze!! I got enough “Stuff” in my “Man Cave” to concoct any kind of “Rube Goldberg” “Device” you want!! ‘Won’t cost me a red cent!! I saw enough WWII movies with John Wayne, Audie Murphy, Robert Mitchum, Richard Egan (The two of them in the “Hunters!!!” especially!!) the list goes on…so ….all the “techniques” are already “Out There!!!” PS…Got a roll of “.032 dia. “MS32099SC32 “Safety Wire” in my “stash” that will do the job!! Good stuff!! yeah, just get a couple of “sticks” you know, branches from an Oak, Maple or what ever tree in your front yard and whittle the down for handles!! Also got a roll of “.020” MS20995E-C20 safety wire it the stash that I use for “FISHING LEADER!!!!!” Darn Cat Fish and Gar Fish down here at Manchac La. kept eatin’ thru the nylon leader so I Fixed em’!!! Now they end up in “Da’ Pot!!!” Good Stuff…….”Wire!!”
    BTW did anybody ever tell ol’ sammy about “Coathangers??”
    Ya’ gotta be “Resourceful” if ya’ gonna survive!!,
    Audentes….Fortuna…Juvat,
    III%,
    skybill-out

    • Al_in_Ottawa says:

      All these years, I didn’t realize that my tool box by the airplane was an assassins arsenal. I have yards and yards of 14/2 electrical wiring too, left over from my home renovation.

  5. Grandpa says:

    …oh dear God… it’s late, and I’m tired… and this is almost too fucking funny for words… like I said, WC, this shit writes itself. A garrote? And scammy says to go “find a martial artist or an old school spy with the requisite experience and ask for a special course program”…
    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, SAM? An ‘old school spy’? Find one? Where the fuck do old school spies congregate? The cigar store? WalMart? Burberrys?
    “…especially if you are using wire, which I personally prefer” Like ol’ pink hands has done a fucking survey, took notes and shit; and did the math – and decided “yes, I prefer wire over rope in my garrote.” Lord love a duck… the only thing “Cuntland ‘the Faux’ Girljeans” kerodin has ever strangled is his tiny weiner. And he didn’t need rope or wire – just a magnifying glass and tweezers…
    And… $130… for… maybe…MAYBE… $8 worth of shit from Lowe’s or Home Depot. I can’t wait to see the pictures of the short bus at the Re pubic an convention… with scammy and all four of his “padawan learners”…
    I did note from the pictures that the “iii percent wetwork ninja jedburgh belt buckle choke your chicken based on the OSS design anonymous will be spammed not about Kerodin garrote” – does come with an attractive and handy drawstring bag, with the “iii” ™ logo on it – making it perfect as an accessory for your white pleather man purse…
    I need another beer..

    • Wirecutter says:

      I was counting on your input, man.

      • Grandpa says:

        brother, I told you – fuck, I told him – I was going to ride him out of liberty, or the sunset; whichever arrives first. I checked his shit out after your post… same group of commenters, same inane retarded bullshit. His plan to be at the convention, making sure we get the inside info… as if any of us give a fuck about the convention… his whole story about his $130 garrote and how to use it, is such ridiculous nonsense that it almost boggles the mind, that anyone who’s past third grade could regard it as serious is incomprehensible…
        but there is hope… if he is going to be in Ohio for the convention, maybe it is because he is being evicted from the Idaho house/dojo/jedburgh whatever; and moving back east… in which case, these stories will go on for years.
        How anyone can view his website as anything but satire is unbelievable. Even “The Onion” isn’t this funny…

  6. M. Sage says:

    Faster, cleaner, much quieter: left hand pulls back on forehead, kick the back of a knee, stab knife down behind the clavicle and rip it along. Slashes the top of the lung open, fast bleed out, etc.

    How to counter a garotte attack: draw pistol, aim it behind you at waist or stomach level, fire.

  7. The INBRED Jedburgh strikes again! Bwahahahaha!

    $130 for a piece of wire with a handle on the ends?

    What a putz!

  8. mark says:

    There is a thin wire tool sold for cutting PVC pipe. It is just wire doubled back on itself, with padded loops. You saw back and forth on the pipe and friction melts the pipe. Works a treat.

    I never actually thought about using it as a garotte, probably because I’m not planning to commit murder. I’m weird that way.

  9. East TX says:

    There is a measurement problem here- 3″ long & 5″ diameter, I believe he has confused the two measurements unless 3″ long is in reference to something else.

  10. Exile1981 says:

    I have a friend who used to do HVAC work. You would be surprised how much blood gets spilled on a typical job site; that ducting is very sharp.

    I’m sure a metal cut on the hand equates to stopping a bladed weapon with his bare hands.

  11. idahobob says:

    What a fucking moron!

    Are there really any people that’s going to pay attrition to this over ego-ed , mental midget?

    The short bus to Cleveland? Riiiigggghhhhht!

    God, I wish that he would leave my state.

    Bob
    III

  12. My first point is “Why is a non profit giving away and item that has no “sporting” purpose other than to kill (I guess you could strip bark off of a tree LOL)” The trainers on the Board (for that matter, all but two said “NO!) told him “NO!” When he wanted to make the IIIPSFA into a martial organization (obviously he didn’t like that). And now a garrote is the membership gift? LOL. My second point has two parts. First, since we know Hyman has no background in Gov ops, when would he have been sanctioned to kill? His reply to a question of when he would have used a specific technique to kill ( I have it screenshotted). “STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS!”, Like if he talked about it, he could be arrested for a crime. Professionals don’t talk about the things they’ve had to do unless it’s a momnet of sentiment in private, or they are asked for guidance. Murderers are the ones that are usually caught because they brag about their crimes. Maybe people should be asking other more serious questions about Hyman, are there any unsolved murders where the crime matches his MO? He’s gone beyond humorously Ignorant. Now he’s drawing a spotlight that he isn’t prepared to “shine” under.

    • jay352 says:

      Mason, You can also use it as a wire saw to cut pvc pipe. I buy them all the time, they are about 3 bucks. Another point; since when can felons possess weapons?

    • Grandpa says:

      I was patiently waiting, brother – I knew you’d show up too… lol. I do have another curious observation… how does a post he put up yesterday have comments from 2013 and 2015? Manipulate his comments much?

  13. Ray says:

    “Use any blade you want as long as its 6 inches long and sharp. Pull the head back stretching the neck, insert the knife just in front of the spine and push it out the other side with the edge toward the windpipe then rip the blade out through the neck cutting the windpipe & arteries . Then drop the sentry on his face while holding the wound open with the face and chest pressed firmly into the earth. It takes some time for the enemy solder to bleed to death so care must be taken to keep him silent . It must be noted that the enemy solder can make considerable noise as he dies and killing with the knife or toggle rope is best done by two men to stop the enemy from thrashing about as they die” ( Royal Marine Commando school 1943) RMC training stressed NOT using wire “unless there was no other method available” as it “had proved unreliable in the desert” They trained with the “toggle rope”

  14. .l.. says:

    What.The.Fuck….. His site is satire, right? I mean, I almost had coffee come out my fucking nose reading that! Besides, if you want a costume accessory like that, get a clay cutter from the local art/craft store. Exactly the same thing.

    It’s like delving into the delusional mind that wrote those Spy Hard movies.

  15. Phssthpok says:

    Hard to tell for sure without anything to co,pare it to, but it looks to me like he even got the dimensions wrong. That looks more like 5″ LONG x 3″ DIAMETER to me.

    (5″ would be a pretty fat fucking handle, and a 3″ length doesn’t give you much to hold onto…)

  16. Mark says:

    The only time I’ve ever used a garotte was when I put a huge catfish on the stringer and the catfish tried to take off and I got the stringer dug into my own finger.

  17. Al_in_Ottawa says:

    Here’s a fellow who knows,

    • Al_in_Ottawa says:

      Ooops, wrong one. That’s the 1st of eight videos, the 3rd video is the one where he discusses the Fairbarns-Sykes fighting knife.

    • Timbo says:

      What great stories!
      It’s a strain figuring out why he’s saying half the time, but great none the less.
      (Hard to believe we speak the same language!)

  18. BadFrog says:

    Shitheads like him confirm att the European misconceptions about Americans – and that’s saying a lot.

  19. D S Craft says:

    Find an old school spy??!! Really? Kenny, please tell me you lifted this from the Onion. This is a joke, right? I mean, where do you go to in the yellow pages to find an old school spy? Is that under ‘O’ or ‘S’? Do they rate them on Yelp? Seriously, one negative review and I’m gone. You just can’t fool around when it comes to hiring spies, old school or otherwise.
    I don’t get it. Nobody, and I mean nobody can be this dimwitted. And even those that are dimwitted are usually aware enough not to publicize it. I’m still thinking this is some kind of inside joke that I’m not in on.

  20. danielkday says:

    Personally, I’m waiting for Mr. 3 to offer a throwing garrote.

  21. Sanders says:

    Reminds me of the nimrod in high school who thought he was Mack Bolan. He always wore a black t-shirt and carried an Italian stilletto in his sock.

  22. Paul says:

    Kenny, how dare you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Don’t you know that Dusty from the GI Joe Team has a secondary MOS as a Refrigeration Mechanic!!!!!!!!!!!
    We are talking about GI Joe characters, right???

  23. pigpen51 says:

    It seems like a strange thing for patriots to have to resort to garrote type weapons. I can’t for the life of me figure any possible need for a normal person to have one, yet alone use one.

  24. John Smith. No, really. says:

    I mentioned garrotes earlier, either here or at M-D-T.

    I don’t know M-D-Ts age, he may have more contacts who can comment on this.

    I know that some of the reconnaissance oriented Infantry (sub)units in Korea (during and shortly after the war) actually taught garrote techniques for sentry removal. I can see the reasoning, doing the combat patrol/infiltration thing, in windy hills, or between the lines when there’s harassing fire going back and forth all night. The point being 1 poor isolated MFer with no personal comms, who isn’t on a comms schedule with anyone…in terms of learning the technique and effectively applying it – the way they did it as shown to me by Vietnam veteran Infantry types who learned from those guys years later – it might be a little easier to be proficient at it than a sleeper/take-down and a knife attack.

    But without going into any real detail, I’ll just say the technique that I saw was a hell of a lot more involved, final, and violent than the classic hokey spy film ‘wrap the neck, take away the CG by taking the legs, and hold on until the struggling stops’. Also, the technique I saw demonstrated (and this was not in any way a training session, more of a curios question answered with a simple demonstration) would not lead to ‘getting excessively wet’. So I’ve got no idea WTF speshul kay is talking about. This is my shocked face.

    When I was a new guy, a few of our senior NCOs were Vietnam veterans (and total badasses) and one thing they did teach us, kind of an esoteric cool guy skill, was how to place our arms when sleeping to make it damn near impossible to get a garrote securely around our necks without us waking. The cool thing about that was this was before the admittedly wise move of grouping the training cadre at the group (as opposed to the team) level. After winding up at a different team down the road in our career, we could tell if a guy we weren’t too familiar with had been at the same team while those old Vietnam badasses were still around from how they’d position their arms when going to sleep. We’d pass it on of course, but it was always cool to learn that maybe not-so-applicable but old school and very legit in a certain time and place cool guy stuff.

    I recall asking one of them about why they initially learned it and apparently the guys working with the locals (PRUs, etc.) occasionally had loyalty/infiltrator problems. There was a pretty big bounty/reward for American ‘advisers’, and sneaking up on one while he was asleep was sometimes feasible if the would-be assassin was racking in the same compound.

    Speshul kay’s fixation with ‘getting wet’ with the enemy’s blood tells me he doesn’t really have any personal experience when it comes to even looking at dead bad guys who have been shot, stabbed, etc. Sure, there’s blood depending on what killed them and where it hit them/what it did to them. But the % of situations where the dude who zapped the baddie winds up ‘wet with his blood’…you’d figure a stone cold killer like speshul kay would come to the realization that maybe zapping the MFer from at least a few meters away aids in longevity. if it’s true close combat it’s going all the way south for one of the two guys involved. Breaking contact isn’t really an option. Those are bad dice rolls to be making repeatedly, even if you’re better trained and more experienced.

    M-D-T had another great point. So the revolution begins, and at some remote strategic target the security forces lose 2 or 3 sentries to some guy who knows how to use a garrote. The recovered bodies aren’t going to be pretty, and trust me there would be an added degree of ‘payback animosity’. It’s not like they got shot on a reconnaissance patrol, their buddies got their windpipes crushed, necks opened up, stabbed, etc. Their surviving brothers in arms are going to be thinking about Bob the sentry’s last few seconds, a lot. Stories will spread.

    And then, walking to the post office in some small town, one of speshul kay’s 3%ers gets stopped and searched during a random security sweep/checkpoint. And he’s packing a 3%er garrote.

    Do the math on how that one ends, especially if the dude packing the garrote knows the location of the living quarters of other 3%ers.

    • AlmostAnonymous says:

      John Smith, for those of us who don’t know, how did you place your arms while sleeping?

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