A couple of hours ago I started getting fucking blasted with emails, all of them along the same lines – “Seriously?” and “Can you believe this silly son of a bitch?”
Yup, Kerodin again. I had to go see for myself as much as I hated giving him traffic.
Kerodin has a post up on his site instructing folks on how to kill with a garrote, explicit instructions, and then has a link to where you can buy your very own made-by-III-Arms garrote for only $130 and lessons at his dojo too!
I don’t even know where to start.
Fuck it, let’s start with the most obvious question here. How in the hell can Shortstuff use a garrote anyway? He can’t jump that fucking high.
Second thing, Wirecutter’s gonna save you some money here if you really are coming down with Sammy Sydrome (illusions of grandeur, impulsive lying, the constant need for attention) – go down and buy a dowel at your local hardware store, some piano wire from your local (gotta shop local) music store, saving yourself about 110 bucks. Sure, you won’t get a free lesson that way, but you can read up on it yourself and get the same information that you would’ve gotten from Sam Kerodin because he has no firsthand experience no matter what he wants you to believe.
By the way, if you’re one of those folks that still believe anything he says after the lies we’ve exposed, look up in the right hand corner of your screen. See that little red box with the x in it? Right click that.
But look at the bullshit he’s spreading again about ‘getting wet’.
He’s a fucking HVAC guy for Christ’ sake. There are not a lot of opportunities for murder in that trade.
Oh shit, I almost forgot about the III on the ends of the dowel. You can use a sharpie or even a soldering iron to burn it in if you want get all high speed and shit. It won’t look as good as his though. I mean that’s if you want to put an identifying mark that can be traced back to you on a weapon that has no other purpose other than to kill. That’s up to you.
Let’s talk techniques here: I have never ‘gotten wet at belt buckle range’ with a knife as a civilian, or military either for that matter. I’ve been cut and have cut before but a 3 or 4 stitch repair job doesn’t really qualify as getting wet especially when you’re so fucked up you slap a pressure bandage on it and go back into the bar to continue drinking.
I have never been instructed in the use of either a garrote or a fighting knife. I understand from a few folks that they did receive instruction in it but they were in specialized units in combat arms. I asked if they ever used a garrote or ever heard first hand of one actually being used. I’m still waiting on a few emails but I’ve yet to get a single answer saying yes. There are much easier and quieter ways to kill a man close up – shooting him with a suppressed 22 which makes a hell of a lot less noise than all the thrashing around a strangling man would make in the 3 to 8 seconds Kerodin says it would take him to expire. Or how about a double edge dagger to the throat or neck? There’s several places there that would kill him quicker and quieter. Shit, driving a sharp heavy blade through the back of the neck severing the spine would work better.
But now let’s talk legalities here:
A non-profit, a fucking non-profit mind you, is selling deadly weapons as an incentive to join or renew with an offer for free lessons. By the way, as a non-profit he is required by law to disclose all donors – George Patton proved that in one of his posts – and dues paying members are donors. So when the federales get that list for tax purposes (and they will no matter what Kerodin says or he’ll ‘catch a case’) and see who renewed during this limited time offer and they now know you received a weapon that has no other purpose than to kill and which may not be legal in your state to own. You can’t even call it a paperweight, man. It has absolutely no legitimate purpose other than deliberately taking a human life – homicide in most cases, First degree in fact because it’s obviously premeditated – you don’t kill in self defense with a fucking garrote. It is a close up offensive weapon and therefore would qualify you for the death penalty under the special circumstances clause as an ambush.
And if he refuses to ship to a state where it’s illegal, then he’s knuckled under to the government, something he does quite regularly concerning his absence of his 2A Rights. Then there was the fact that while he went to the ‘Barrycade’ protest when the federal government shut down, he didn’t touch a single barricade himself because he didn’t want to ‘catch a case’, knuckling under again. Jim Miller was there with him and he told me that little fact.
And this weapon is manufactured by III Arms? A company that was founded with the intent of making firearms and did in fact produce 21 rifles and pistols combined making it a legitimate firearms manufacturer, at least at that time? I’m pretty sure that’s a huge no-no and probably just guaranteed that the federales will never grant them a license even if he could find an FFL 007 holder that would risk his license to be associated with somebody that advocates murder of all police officers, federal employees and anybody else that disagrees with him.
While I’m thinking of it, see the top screenshot and at the top saying “All revenue generated by III Gear goes directly to support III Patriot Projects and Operations nationwide” highlighted in yellow? Yeah. Just try asking him for an accounting of it – checks written, wire transfers, all that good shit and see where it gets you. All of a sudden you’ll be a racist, a klansman, a national socialist and a member of the FSA.
And finally, will these garrote lessons at his kiddie dojo be between the toddlers and grade school classes?
I swear, every time I decide that I’m going to quit talking shit about him unless he fucks up again, he does just that. He’s ripping people off with overpriced products and offering lessons in a technique that he has absolutely no experience using.
But at least you’ll get a fancy certificate to hang on your wall next to your certificate of the proper use of kaka-lube.