Four old cowboys are having a discussion about what is the fastest thing in the world.
First cowboy says “I believe it’s thinking, ’cause when you prick your finger or touch a flame, the pain instantly becomes thought and hits the brain”.
Second cowboy says “Well, I think it’s blinking. When you blink and open your eyes again, you immediately see everything. Nothing is changed”.
Third cowboy says “Well, I think its light, ’cause as soon as you press that light switch, you go from dark to instant light”.
Fourth cowboy says “Well, I think it’s the Mexican-two-step diarrhea”.
All the others ask simultaneously “Diarrhea? Why?”
Fourth cowboy says “I’ll explain it to you. I went across the border to a saloon last night and drank a buncha homemade Mexican tequila. On the way home from the saloon, I stopped off at Lupe’s cafe and ate two helpings of her Mexican Special, which I suspect had been warmed over a time or two, and a buncha jalapenos and some chili peppers I never saw before”.
First cowboy asks “So, what’s that got to do with speed or diarrhea?”
Fourth cowboy says “Well, later on when I was in bed, I felt this fire and fierce rumbling in my belly, and before I could think, or blink, or turn on that goddamn light”…