Decisions, decisions…..

I get a fair amount of spam in my email concerning this site – folks wanting to do a guest post for free advertising and it’s obvious by the content they have never actually read anything here.

Here’s the latest:

Mr. Wirecutter,

I was wondering if you accept guest posts on
I am writing about Latest Topic on Fashion, so there is a chance one of my articles would be a good fit for your blog. Currently, I am working on the following articles:

1) 10 Style Tips on how to Wear Floral Kimonos
2) 5 Essential Tips to Dress for Party
3) 5 Reasons Kimonos is better than Tank Tops
4) 5 Fashion Trends to Consider this Fall
5) Sleeves & Their Impact on Looks
6) Wan To Be Amazing at Fashion? Here’s How
7) The Best Kind Vintage Retro Fashion
8) Make Fashion Work For You
9) Advantages of hiring best fashion designer
10) Worst Fashion Mistake and How to Fix Them

Let me know if you are interested in publishing one of them on your site.

Please feel free to make suggestions or send over any feedback.

Best Regards,


So what do you think? Any of you motherfuckers ever wonder if your floral kimono isn’t stylish enough? Or that maybe you’re inappropriately dressed for a party? Maybe you can do better than your present fashion designer? Or holy shit, what kind of fashion faux pas are you inadvertently making?

I wouldn’t want to steer you wrong, ya know. I mean, heaven forbid that one of my readers should be caught walking down the street with his sleeves hacked off at the shoulder seams before Memorial Day. Or even worse, two different patterns of camo in the same outfit? I don’t even want to think about if both your pant legs should be tucked into your boots or not. That would just embarrass the shit out of all us here.

Leave your fashion concerns in the comments and when I get enough I’ll forward the link to this post back at him/her/it and then I’ll post their response.

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61 Responses to Decisions, decisions…..

  1. Charlie says:

    I’m becoming concerned because it’s been about a year since we’ve seen a post showing a topless bearded grumpy-looking old codger wearing boots and a miniskirt.
    Someone needs to investigate.
    – Charlie

  2. ChuckN says:

    I’d love to see a picture spread of kimonos; preferably ones
    worn by your Monday girls. Just a suggestion.

  3. Glider Rider says:

    Kimodo dragons are the swizz. Oh wait, kimonos. I love mine. I wear my faux leather boots with my genuine Kimono when I go in to town. It’s the perfect conceal wear, along with my cowboy hat I can’t go wrong. I wear it when I’m on my motor sicle. Stylish, yet it doesn’t sick out in a crowd. It even hides my samurai sword.

  4. Mr Poon says:

    Maybe he meant to send this to Kerodin or whatever that jerkoff’s name is.

  5. Duckhunt says:

    Want to make fashion work for you? Put on some fashionable work boots and a fashionable work shirt. Maybe some fashionable work pants too.

  6. H says:

    I got one: Is it permissible to wear orange fluorescent condoms after Labor Day?

  7. Elmo says:

    Flannel boxer shorts are getting harder to find all the time, especially ones with generous crotches. Can he help me out?

  8. Padawan says:

    I wear black everything year round. Easy, simple and right to the point. And nothing beats a comfy and well loved band t. I guess I could use.some advice on how to pair a kimono with my favorite band shirts and Tripp pants with the contrasting straps and stitching. Are combat boots compatible with kimonos?

    • Wirecutter says:

      Oh absolutely, combat boots are compatible with everything.
      I pretty much quit wearing black T-shirts when I got a yella-haired dog.
      I say that but I’m wearing one now – a black Lyle Tuttle tattoo shop T-shirt.

  9. Andy says:

    When is the bestest time to wear crotchless kimono?

  10. ed357 says:

    What is the best time of the year to get some high quality Hawaiian shirts at bargain prices?

    I need practical but affordable options.

    • WiscoDave says:

      Check local resale/charity stores. That’s where I get mine.
      Wear one to work every Friday.

  11. LFMayor says:

    My kimono has freshwater sport fish printed on it. Flower kimonoes are for pole smokers

  12. Sedition says:

    Can you ask him what patterns he/she would suggest that would not make my dick look so fat?
    (That should get their attention)

  13. Flahutin' says:

    I only follow this blog for the fashion tips.

  14. Jesse Bogan says:

    Fuck!!! Maybe I been wearing my kimonos all wrong…Now I need a drink…

  15. Andrew says:

    Eh, knowing how to wear a real kimono (and hakama, with a nice jimbaori and the socks and flip-flops) is like knowing how to wear a kilt (and sporran, and shirt with vest, and the stupid socks with garters, and the three knives (yes, 3 knives, 1 long, 2 small)). Useful for those world travelers out there or those into some sort of reenactment stuff, or just, well, because they’re kinda awesome outfits.

    Yeah, I personally would love to hear from this nutbag in order to trash the twerp soundly about it’s understanding of fashion and why dat shit was worn at dat time and place (hint – weather means fucking everything about what you should wear, duh!). It’s most likely some fucking hipster douchebag crybaby who needs to go to Planned Parenthood and schedule a retroactive abortion. But for everyone else’s sanity, naw, just naw.

    Now if you have some hippy-dippy new-age flower-person trying to convince us bacon-loving omnivores out here that vegetarianism or freganism is the best way to live, and let us comment to our fullest extent, well then, oh, hell, on that like, well, one of us on a 10lb tray of BACON!

  16. Ryan says:

    What the fuck is this clown thinking? Now if some of his columns had names like-
    How to dress up you deer rifle, How to impress the ladies with you shitkickers on or “the allure of the Copenhagen ring” he might get some attention here. But I’d imagine most of us either already know these things or are too stubborn to give a shit what he thinks so fuck em’. If trying to push fashion tips involving man dresses to a man that goes by wirecutter didn’t seem like a bad idea natural selection is going to have a story to tell when it gets done with him.

  17. Richard says:

    Fuck it —–if everyone else is drinking , so am I—-in my saran wrap kimono

  18. Eastwood says:

    If I wear real tree pants does a mossy oak shirt match well enough. I still look like a tree right. Just kidding I’m going to wear it anyway.

  19. WiscoAl says:

    1. Since the Scottish Tartan Board has approved the Hebraic Tartan, will the kimono authorities similarly acknowledge and declare a specific floral Pattern?
    2. Folks have alluded to this in prior comments, but clearly are just phoning it in. I need to know, when wearing anything other than my double leg logging Carhartts, i.e. inferior fabrics that print, do I properly tuck right, tuck left, or just do the front and center wheelbarrow?

    • Andrew says:

      Answer #1: They had/have that, registered flower patterns, along with tie-die shit, and weird fluorescent stuff and more. Many of the patterns were ‘registered’ to the various houses, linked to the ‘mon’ or device of the house. Japanese heraldry is really intricate, simple but totally messed up (typical Japanese stuff.) From simple patterns to some shit that would make your eyes bleed and your brain think it’s on a really bad acid trip. Shit you not.

      Answer #2: As to the tuck, whatever keeps the woodchips outa your crack or your junk is what matters. Metal splinters and welding flash, you should be wearing the appropriate gear for that. Or just man up and deal with the pain.

  20. Eastwood says:

    Just found out real tree doesn’t even offer a kimono. Guess I am SOL.

  21. C.R. says:

    Fashion? Levis , Carhartts ,T shirts,Flannel , Danner boots , and maybe a hat of some kind Generaly not tinfoil .Making fashion work for me? Work cloths ,Work boots , and a leatherman tool on my belt (leather,not natural fiber B.S.) Wouldnt want to wear a kimono to work folks might get the wrong ideas

  22. Granny says:

    If the foo shits, wear it. Seriously kids?

  23. Tim S says:

    Does underwear ALWAYS have to be worn UNDER your pants or are there times when you can ware them over your pants?

  24. Grandpa says:

    I read this, and the comments; and whiskey out of my nostrils as I laugh still stings, you assholes. How about a camo tactical kilt with a Reyn Spooner Hawaiian shirt, desert boots, and two Rugers – .44 mag Redhawk w/9.5 barrel on the strong side, and a .44 Blackhawk w/10.5 barrel on the other? Of course with my ‘experienced’ boonie hat, and assorted knives and what not.
    And I’ll even pretend I give a fuck about what anyone thinks. Nevermind. I can’t pretend that much. Ever. Even when I’ve been drinking.

  25. Grog says:

    CR, nothing wrong with tinfoil, after reading all the comments, I made a sarong with a baseball cap. And the foil is non stick, too.

  26. Peter says:

    Shee-it, all y’all are lame.

    Ask something important: does my leather gun belt have to match my pants belt and shoes?

  27. elric says:

    Dude, do it for the laughs.

    Point blank.

  28. J.B. says:

    Should ya wear a Harley hat with a floral kimono or go with camo or orange? Does it depend on whether yer ridin’ or huntin’, and what yer huntin’?? So many decisions so little information…

  29. Lynda says:

    Who needs underwear? Commando is the only way to go!

  30. Deb says:

    Well, if cammo kimonos are one of the topics, I think you should post it.

  31. realspark21 says:

    …how about these fashion articles:

    -10 Ass-slimming rifles
    -5 Ways to More Self Confidence Using AR500 Steel
    -Seasons Best Surplus Camouflage
    -Polymer or Steel, Handguns for a New You
    -Hunting: Stalk or Blind, and What it Says About How You Feel
    -Does this Caliber Make Me a Pussy
    -Optics, Your Guide to a Better Life Through Hits

  32. Kevin says:

    Is it true that if I wear a bra on my head that Kelly LeBrock will suddenly appear and make all my dreams come true?

  33. Ben Derhover says:

    So you admit you have been idly sitting on this inportant information for quit some time!!!!!
    Why are you withholding this from us? I ordered a Special Snowflake Winter Woodland Camouflage Kimono last week. Was I wrong, should I just have ordered Special Snowflake Winter Digital Camouflage instead? This information could have helped all of us.

  34. screwauger says:

    I have always wondered if sleevless hunting garb would cause the varmints to gang up and laugh at me!

  35. Drew in Michigan says:

    I’m still waiting for “Liberal Tears Cologne” to go with my cammy kimonos.

    You fuckers Crack me up, gotta go kill a chicken for dinner ya’ll have a good day!

  36. Brian Woods says:

    I need to know what to do when in Deer Camp and someone else shows up in the same Camo, also what type of fashion is acceptable for louge wear after the hunt is over.

  37. Lisa Lane says:

    This is hysterical! Nice job Everyone!

  38. Please ask her (?) for tips on getting boar’s blood off of my silk ‘crepe du chine’ hunting kimono. Also, boar shit from when I slipped on a muddy trail.

  39. Eric in Florida says:

    How do you keep edible underwear fresh all day? I thought I was saving by not having to run the washer as much and not having to cook diner but after a day of work outdoors in Florida they seem to get a funk to them. Please help.
    Also I now really need to know what kimono to purchase.

  40. Harold Foster says:

    If this goofy individual has ever read your blog, then he is a serious troll…… GMAFB!

  41. Ok, Ken. This is a serious inquiry. Will my camo flip-flops clash with a flowered kimono?
    And, since I carry OWB, what gear do I need to get to match, so I can continue to carry my 1911 OWB?
    I have a couple of Japanese swords that I could carry while I’m wearing a flowered kimono, one in your basic black scabbard, and the other {longer} one in a red wood scabbard. Which one would be most appropriate?
    Inquiring minds, yadda yadda.

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