Midgets and Midgett’s

There’s a stump off the back porch that Lisa decided she wanted to turn into a ‘Hobbitt House’ with a tin roof, door and windows with a little picket fence around it (I’ll post before and after pictures if I don’t fuck it up too bad) so we went to the Walmart for materials. As we were walking in she poked me and said “Look to the left, NO DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU’RE LOOKING, YOU ASSHOLE” and when I looked anyways because I’m an asshole I’ll be damned if there wasn’t a lady midget walking in.
Fuck me running, she was right. Made my day, it did. The only thing that would’ve made it better was if I’d had time time to make a sign that said ‘You must be this tall to ride this ride’ to tape to her shopping cart.
And I’ll be damned if she didn’t follow us all around the craft section. I’m serious, every time I turned around she was there. Luck of the Irish, I had me own leprechaun following me around.

After we did our shopping there, we went to Midgett’s Diner on Hwy 52 for dinner – all you can eat at the buffet for $6.99 where I stuffed myself on catfish, green beans, cheesy taters and pickled okra.

The first time we went to Midgett’s there was fish listed under the ‘seafood’ section of the menu. I asked what kind of fish they had thinking it was maybe salmon or cod and the waitress looked kinda sorta confused and said “Um, catfish”.
Catfish. Seafood… Only in Tennessee…..
All righty then.

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15 Responses to Midgets and Midgett’s

  1. Okie says:

    I was in wal mart lately too ,
    And I was thinkin’ it should just be called
    “People” and not “people of wal mart”
    ’cause we’re being over run every day. They are the norm and we are the oddball fucks…. Green hair, nose ring, cartoon tattooed hermaphrodite, using my daughter’s bathroom sick fuck is the regular dude now days….
    I am the minority…. Jeez….

    • Padawan says:

      We have a “boarder town” Wal Mart where all of the career welfare collectors (both English and non-English speaking,) “refugees” other “non citizens” come to shop. Warhorse let’s me go into every other store on the planet by myself except this one.

  2. Steve in CA says:

    Ah, all you can eat fried catfish. It don’t get any better than that.

  3. Tal says:

    “Catfish. Seafood… Only in Tennessee…..”
    Uh uh. Not just Tennessee,
    And do you know what a mudbug is? Crawdad? Crayfish?

  4. Heathen says:

    Our local K-Mart is closing and is having an “everything must go at discounted prices” sale. I pull into the lot and there is a man loading one of the bunk bed displays in the truck.The frames for these beds are 3 ft.long & maybe half that wide. Midget bunk beds.

    I keep walking.

    Walk about, shoot the breeze with a couple widows my age that I knew way back when and then turn down an aisle.
    There’s a youngish man with I suppose his wife/girl friend/whatever. She’s every bit of 4 foot if that, but not a midget since her body is proportional and bordering on fine. I say nothing but think “Ok, cute lil’ elf .”

    Get to the check out and there’s a midget working the register.

    SMH, It was that kinda day.

  5. Cederq says:

    When I lived in San Jose, a buddy and me would crawdad fishing on Coyote Creek and bring home a mess of them, hmm! with butter? and beer with San Fran Sourdough bread… man that was living!

  6. obsessivecompulsivehater says:

    I live 100 yards from the river. Theres a midget who looks like the one from game of thrones who fishes there most days. Funny when hes walking home with a catfish over his back damn near as long as he is. I always want to offer him a ride, but I dont. Think it would be cool to have a little drinkin buddy. Like having a beer with a garden gnome.

  7. millerized says:

    Had I thought ahead and gotten a closer picture….a midget roller derby girl in DC Saturday afternoon. DC Rollers, one of the teams has one skating for them.

  8. Cavguy says:

    No shit best fried catfish I’ve ever had was at a Ft. Dix mess hall. Some old black lady cooked it up uuummm good. Remember I went to the black female kitchen manager asked to speak to the cook. So we go back to the kitchen I’m introduced to this woman and I proceeded to thank this gal. To make her laugh I asked if she was married! Man I got all the catfish I wanted from then on. I can eat me some fried catfish now.

  9. crazyeighter says:

    “Catfish. Seafood… Only in Tennessee…..”

    Sort of like that line in “The Blues Brothers”: “We’ve got both kinds of music here; Country AND Western.”

  10. Wade says:

    Saw one of those little fuckers at our Walmart last week. And she was kind of hot for a dwarf, stripper I think.

  11. Timbo says:

    Jesus, that’s the kind of day where ya think it might be a good idea to go buy a lottery ticket!
    (Except I wouldn’t, cause lotteries are for suckers. I’ve got friends that have been playing the same numbers for close to 40 years. If they had been saving, and buying gold, they coulda retired reasonably well, just on that!)

  12. bob says:

    seafood in Tennessee? yeah, ever since the gulf shore moved up to Tennessee. didn’t you read al gore’s book? It explains it all.

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