Don’t laugh. It works.


If you’ve got a serious case of monkey butt where your ass is all red and chafed, this butt paste is the way to go. I’m not kidding.

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15 Responses to Don’t laugh. It works.

  1. Granny says:

    Naw, save your money honey.
    Generic Petroleum Jelly is the same as Vasaline, without the higher price.
    With your left hand, rub the affected parts with a generous layer of P.J.; If your are kack handed use the opposite hand.
    Elderly leakage is a silent embarrassment that we can deal with.

  2. Nifter says:

    Flanders buttocks ointment is great too.
    And Ammens powder

  3. PawPaw says:

    Damn right it works. Every Momma in Louisiana carries a tube of Boudreaux;s in the diaper bag. We’ve been using that stuff for two generations.

  4. I think that should be “…all RED and chafed…”

  5. Timbotoo says:

    Kenny, for less serious cases or shall we say, day to day maintenance there is a product called “Anti Monkeybutt” which consists of talc and calamine powder. I always carry some on my motorbike on long rides.

  6. David says:

    This should’ve been in “Gotta be California again” with all the fudge packer ointments, lol.

  7. Unclezip says:

    Nothing beats good ol’ bag balm.

    • Wirecutter says:

      Bag balm is probably the most under-rated product in the world. It works on rough hands, tender dog’s feet, monkey butt, anything where the skin is tore up or tender. Oh yeah, it works great on udders too…..

  8. West says:

    Been using that stuff during riding season for many years. A little bit goes a long way.

  9. & to close another chappter of the many things I didn’t need to know ’bout wirecutter & the commenters …

  10. juju2434 says:

    Send several cases to our universitys

  11. no way, luis says:

    Ahhhh?, how do you get it in? is there a applicator thing?, I ain’t using my finger, don’t live in California.

    • Wirecutter says:

      You don’t put it in, you put it on between your butt cheeks. If you’re all that delicate I guess you could put a dab on some toilet paper and smear it around.

  12. bogsidebunny says:

    This stuff is the best selling toothpaste in San Francisco.

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