But how will the snowflakes drink their Starbucks?

The next plastic piece of convenience on the chopping block are drinking straws, as the city of Berkeley decides whether to create an ordinance banning the environmentally unfriendly item on Tuesday.
Drawn up by three City Council members, the city would seek to ban plastic drinking straws from its restaurants and coffee shops.
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13 Responses to But how will the snowflakes drink their Starbucks?

  1. Exile1981 says:

    Metal reusable straws. Every snowflake will have to buy one and carry it around with them. If you ask for a straw you’ll have to pay the 4 dollar straw purchase fee.

    • I’m sorry but no! No one needs an metal assault straw, however with a permit a 1″ (maximum) straw is permissible. But when not in use it must be locked in ‘Straw Safe’ for safety.

      Heh! Heh!

  2. truthzzzz says:

    So when do they pass an ordinance cutting off all genitalia? That is, after all, a major source of emotional motivation.
    Then brain implants. Yeah. That’s their ticket. Brain implants. It’s trendy. It’s Progressive. It’s fun for them.

    • bart simpsonson says:

      Lead brain implants sure to do the trick…….22, .38 SPL, .357 Magnum, 9mm (the nearly only American use of metric), and you get the idea. Am I right?

  3. bogsidebunny says:

    What I want to know is how the faggots are going to feed their gerbils in residence? Producing paper straws destroy forests so they’ll soon be verboten and as a previous commenter said medal ones will be deemed “assault straws” and banned. I guess the fruit will have to tongue-feed the furry critters in his “partners” pooper and visa versa.

  4. mylar (helium) balloons too.

    keeping us safe from the boogey men of the world.

    • crazyeighter says:

      They’ve got time to focus on things like this because all the crime in Alameda County has been eliminated. (eyeroll)

  5. One of the many Bill's says:

    How the fuck can you drink a milkshake without a straw!? What about cig butts? Those are all over the damn place. Can they ban butts too?

  6. bart simpsonson says:

    Well, I remember when straws were made of paper. But I do not remember when they were made of papyrus. So, there is that.

  7. stine says:

    There’s a restaurant around here the has paper straws. Just think how many you could make out of a Sequoia.

  8. Robert says:

    People with mobility issues will not appreciate banning straws. Idiotic City Council members…
    Pro tip: carry your stash of straws in a tubular toothbrush case to keep ’em unsquished.

  9. joemartinjr says:

    The spiral paper ones are held together with wax. Good luck drinking anything hot with one. Would serve the idiots right.

  10. RWC says:

    I can still get disposable plastic hypodermic needles for my fix though, right?

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