Colonoscopy! – STM

File this post under the category TMI.

About fifteen years ago, I had my first root canal. Back in the day, root canals were these horrific events. When I finally had one done, it wasn’t a big deal at all, no more than a usual filling. Technology, techniques and materials had advanced so much that it had become a fairly routine procedure. I’ve had two of them now, and the second was even easier than the first.

Along the way, I also learned how to avoid root canals. Various dental professionals coached me to take lots of anti-inflammatories just after a jolt to the face, or if that familiar first wave of jaw pain began. This, they say, is to protect the nerves in the root from the swelling and eventual death and decay (and the second, much more painful and irreversible wave of pain days or weeks later), necessitating the root canal procedure. Works for me, and that second root canal was the result of my ignoring that advice. I’ve had much more severe facial trauma than that one, before and since.

Scroll forward to this past week. After having hit the big 5-0, it was time for the screening colonoscopy. As with the root canal, the hype was much more overblown than the modern procedure. The prep, as it is called, which cleans the colon so that the doc can do his job, was said to be a deathmarch of drinking a gallon or more of a noxious fluid, with explosively formed penetrators the unenviable result.

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7 Responses to Colonoscopy! – STM

  1. bogsidebunny says:

    Had my first colonoscopy about 12 years ago and it was a piece of cake despite the fact I was only “sedated”. The doctor then didn’t believe or was the place equipped to go the whole general anesthesia route.

    I currently due for another (and probably last since I’m 75) soon and the gastroenterologist said I’d get the general anesthesia treatment this time.

    The worst part is drinking the gallon or so laxative and shitting for hours the night before.

    Early morning the next day:

    Then the needle goes in and sweet dreams for about an hour.

    Get yourself some of those wet kiddie wipes and butt paste cause your asshole will appreciate it.

    • Brad_in_IL says:

      What Bog said. In spades. Especially the butt wipes. For Miss Lisa’s sake, get the flushable kind.

      And for a laugh, look on the web for The Ballad of the Colorectal Surgeon by Bowser & Blue.


  2. strnj1 says:

    Come a long way from when I worked transport in X-ray at MCV Hospital back in the early 70’s.

    Back then they had this small bottle of liquid called “X-Prep” that you heard all these horror stories from the patients about it puting them in cramps for about 12 hours…

  3. Granny says:

    Small world department. Eight days in the hospital with a colonoscopy and the noxious fluid as a special treat. No food, liquid concoctions only.
    I will be scheduled for surgery within the next three weeks as my bowel is narrowed, plus the diverticulitis needs to be taken out.
    The trip to Hawaii to meet my baby girl has been cancelled because of this.
    Other than that Mrs. Lincoln how did you like the play?

  4. ed357 says:


    Look it up…..

    Poop on a stick, send it in, and they run the tests……

    No colonoscopy required……Oh covered by Medicare, Medicaid, and/or TriCare.

  5. QuietMan says:

    If SERE School and two detentions by Iraqis didn’t convince me prison was a bad idea, waking up during my colonoscopy certainly did.

  6. Robert says:

    A colonoscopy will find polyps and other bad stuff. I believe Cologuard screens for cancer.

Play nice.