How Government Wrecked the Gas Can

The gas gauge broke. There was no smartphone app to tell me how much was left, so I ran out. I had to call the local gas station to give me enough to get on my way. The gruff but lovable attendant arrived in his truck and started to pour gas in my car’s tank. And pour. And pour.

“Hmmm, I just hate how slow these gas cans are these days,” he grumbled. “There’s no vent on them.”

That sound of frustration in this guy’s voice was strangely familiar, the grumble that comes when something that used to work but doesn’t work anymore, for some odd reason we can’t identify.
-Abby S


I can’t do anything about the other shit listed in the article but I can ease your pain as far as the gas cans go:

I keep 30 gallons of gas in cans in my shed so I appreciated seeing the vents.
Also, check these out:

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41 Responses to How Government Wrecked the Gas Can

  1. Leonard Jones says:

    It has been my experience that despite the insane rantings of the left, corporations
    generally overreact to government regulations. The environmental dork in
    middle managemet did an audit of all the 5 gallon buckets in the paper mill.
    Every bucket had to have an MSDS sticker on it. My tool bucket was a 5 gallon
    Sullair 24Kt synthetic oil container in black and gold. This crap sold for >100
    dollars a gallon decades back. He then argued that if it was labled, it HAD to have an
    MSDS sticker on it. Despite the fact the head was removed years earlier, I had to
    replace it with generic white plastic pail. Once you put the fear of government above
    common sense, this kind of overreaction is common.
    At another mill, they reacted to arc flash regulations by going to an absurd level.
    we were forced to wear a full 40 calorie arc flash (Satan’s beekeeper suit) in order to close
    480 volt breakers, something that required a LOT less protection! Fear of OSHA is real!

  2. James says:

    I found a pile of old school cans in the woods in back of a friends condo,all open but had most parts,out of 8 cans got 5 total with all spouts/seals,bunch of 2.5 and 5 gallon,another mans junk and all that!Nice to see the vent lids can be still obtained,wonder how long before a epa swat team hits em.

  3. Geoff R says:

    Like most things now,if it works and is practical,you can’t buy it.

  4. They’ve not only wrecked gas cans. They’ve wrecked the gasoline/diesel supply with their ‘environmental’ control regulations.

    Removing sulfur from diesel so that you have to add DEF fluid seperately (another expense), removing the sulfur from the fuel is done by a process that uses water, which is sometimes not removed and you end up wrecking your new diesel engine. Happening more and more frequently even though the trucks and gas stations have alarm systems that are supposed to prevent this, because the water molecules are suspended in the fuel itself -they don’t trip the alarms. Also removing sulfur means it needs to be applied to crop fields because it used to be passively applied by tractor emissions, increasing the costs of food production. anyone else notice the trees that seem to be sickly looking? Sulfur is a micronutrient necessary for the proper immune system response.

    Ethanol (water) laden fuel that allows two stroke engines to work properly MAYBE one season, if you’re lucky because it kills the carburetor.

    • M. Sage says:

      “Happening more and more frequently even though the trucks and gas stations have alarm systems that are supposed to prevent this, because the water molecules are suspended in the fuel itself -they don’t trip the alarms.”

      Won’t happen if you use OEM water separator filters. Ford especially has really good filters – they’re wrapped in some weird hydrophobic stuff that keeps water from even getting to the filter element. You can take one out of the box, pour water and watch it run right off the outside of the filter, then pour diesel right through.

      It’s been my experience that way too many people run cheap, shitty filters without realizing that fuel and oil filters are some of the most important maintenance items.

  5. JeremyR says:

    I utilize Kroger a lot. They have a fuel points system where you can earn up to a dollar off per gallon but the purchase limit is 35 gallons. I use a lot of fuel cans since my truck has a 26 gallon tank and I don’t like to run it empty. I tend to toss the stupid spout and just use a funnel.
    The EPA should be outlawed, declared rouge, declared a rico organization, then relentlessly hunted, mercilessly shot, then drawn quartered and placed on pikes all around Ronald Reagan Airport so all the incoming wonder dummies can get a hint of what is in store for them once they ain a little too much power.

  6. Elmo says:

    The author of the article had to research where all this gas spout crap started, only to discover it started with the same state (and agency) that has harassed and terrorized it’s citizens for over 40 years. That should have been a no brainer who that might be.

    (Hint: The offending place’s leader calls his subjects ‘freeloading troglodytes’.)

  7. Unclezip says:

    They also screwed up lawn mowers by forcing manufacturers to hide the blade an inch or more into the desk, cutting it’s efficiency by at least 50%. This because decades ago someone didn’t read the warning about picking the crap up from your lawn before mowing, and not sticking your godamned feet under the machine. Don’t get me started on front-loading washing machines, another epic EPA fuckup (protip: they don’t work).

    • Arc says:

      Used frontloading washing machines for several years, bottom of the barrel ones at that, they work fine. The lock and cancel options can be a little finicky, you have to wait like thirty seconds before it decides to lock / unlock. Beats having your pillows slam around in a bucket.

  8. nonncom says:

    I love the simple genius of it….we now have to pay 8 bucks for a 20 cent piece of plastic that used to come free on an 8 dollar gas can…progress….very impressive….and who says America isn’t great…..again….

  9. USexpat says:

    My new gas can actually works better than tho old jerry cans I used to use. Good handles and nice valve. I was all prepared for a anit-gov. rant but it works just fine.
    Now on the farm, I use a couple of 50 gal. steel fuel tanks bought at Farm & Fleet. They have crank fuel transfer pumps on top. Easy and safe, especially in you place them outside on a stand. My sand is the exact height of the pickup so I can fill and slide a full tank right off.

    • Winston Smith says:

      After years of swearing I’d never use one, I had to get one of the new style plastic gas cans from walmart. I fucking LOVE it. Of course, you have to get some long needle nose pliers, stick them down the spout, and rip the fucking guts out of it, but when you do that, it pours better fast and with less spillage onto my mower than any old style I ever used. My only bitch now is the extra cost, but really I don’t mind paying more for better

      • arc says:

        I may have to do this, I bought a new can just because I forgot my old one and needed gas.

        The no spill cans at TSC are alright, the ones with the thumb button. Its hard to beat a simple vented spout though.

  10. The article mentions “washing machines don’t wash” among other things, besides gas cans.

    The government wrecked washing machines too.

    Several years ago when my twin daughters were just starting to wear underpants, they developed irritation in their private parts. The pediatrician suggested we change laundry detergents. My wife started rinsing their underpants in a basin after they came out of the wash cycle – and the rinse water was grey with detergent residue. We had purchased a new “HE” (High Efficiency) EPA-Approved washing machine just before the kids were born. A quick internet search revealed that yessiree bob, the government wrecked washing machines too. These new HE machines use very miserly amounts of water in each cycle, in addition to using less electricity as the motor motes only intermittently in the wash and rinse cycles. Result of using miserly amounts of rinse water = clothes don’t really get rinsed very well. And probably not washed really well, either.

    The regulations passed pushing all residential washing machines to this deplorable state were intended to reduce water consumption, and therefore reduce sewerage flows into publicly owned treatment plants. On the plus side – huge spending to increase drinking water production and sewerage treatment plant capacity postponed or avoided altogether. On the down side – it wrecked the quality of clothes washing in the home. Well at least the reduction of water use and resulting sewerage flows was a success.

    Fortunately, there is a fix. The Speed Queen company (not a meth reference – sorry to all the tweekers out there) still makes a traditional washing machine like your mother used to have when we boomers were growing up. Tub fills all the way up with water, washes, and the rinse cycle (or 2, if you select “extra rinse”) also fills up and covers the clothes completely.

    The dealer was happy to take my almost-new name brand HE washing machine away, I’m sure he sold it at a good discounted price to someone unaware that these machines really suck at washing clothes.

    • Craig says:

      Last month our LG front loading HE washer tried to flood our home. We bought a Speed Queen top loader and love it.

      When I married, my wife brought with her the bottom of the line washer and dryer from JC Penney. The washer gave up the ghost after about 25 years of faithful service. In retrospect we should have just tried to repair it…but the wife wanted something new.

    • Andrew says:

      Speed Queens rock. You’ll pry mine out of my cold dead hands. Half to a third the price of some dumb assed yuppiefied super duper HE version.

      Sure, they’re not ‘energy efficient’ but they’ll cost you $20.00 more per year. Wooooo.

    • crazyeighter says:

      Wish I’d known this a year ago when I had to replace my twenty-something year old washer. The new one doesn’t have nearly as many options (manually setting the water level for instance) and locks the lid when starting and doesn’t unlock it until it’s completely finished.

    • ignore amos says:

      We’re on well water, and it goes dry every summer. I have a 300 gallon tank in the back of the truck I haul water from a city hydrant in the summer. The H.E. washer has saved us a few extra trips for washing clothes. It’s made a big difference for us. I can’t tell any difference between the levels of cleanliness. As long as it gets rid of the sweat and stink, I like it.

  11. James says:

    One thing I noticed(read on net and tried) was the washing machines/dishwashers ect. soaps no longer have trisodium phosphate in their mixes due to environment concerns.Thus,buy a box of TSP from your favorite big box store and add a teaspoon of it in wash,works very well.

    The epa was created by exec order of……tricky dick!

    • One of the many Bill's says:

      TSP is now minus the P

      • James says:

        In Cali. yes,in north east still has trisodium phosphate,can get in big box stores and on net,perhaps not same amount as say 20 years ago but does the job.

  12. dilligaf says:

    Buy some rubber valve stems. Remove schrader valve. Drill hole in gas can and use a length of wire to pull valve stem into place thru the inside of the can. Vented!

  13. RKflorida says:

    Steve – thanks for the tip on Speed Queen. They will be my next washer/dryer. Our old Maytags have been flawless for over 20 years (only 2 of us so no heavy use) but they can’t last forever.

    • James says:

      I was interested in seeing the speed queen and looked at link,ooooops……..,digital controls,no thanks!I refuse to buy that stuff with motherboards ect.,want old school manual controls,will if necc. rebuild old stuff,have a few extra machines that worked with hose attachment test outside,all manual controls/easy fix items.I have raided dead machines for spare parts,should be good for my lifetime.

      • Wirecutter says:

        We’ve been using the same old beat up washer and dryer for 10 years now and when they break, I repair it. There’s something about twisting dials rather than pushing buttons, isn’t there?

      • NC Mike says:

        Hey James, they’ve got three top load models with mechanical controls. Their website is a little difficult to navigate but I found them.

      • Andrew says:

        Ah, fear not! They still make mechanical control models. Those are just like the coin-operated machines but without the coin operation. Here’s how!

        Go to the Speed Queen site.

        Choose “Top Load Washer”

        Select “Manual Controls”

        Same with Dryers.

        You can still find them. You may have to go to an actual appliance store to find one.

        Fortunately I live in a city with a good appliance store. The type you can go into and buy parts for. Not a box store. Family owned type, and they keep in business and have expanded, too. Two nice brothers, have the wives and kids do the commercials. The type that has a scratch and dent room. There you will find the best stuff.

        Good luck. New Maytags aren’t even worth the tannerite to blow them up.

        • Andrew says:

          FML…. Sorry, left out a part.

          So. Select “Top Load Washers”

          Select “Find Your Speed Queen”

          Select “Mechanical Controls”

          Miss one damn line and it changes everything.

          So, yes. Speed Queen still makes mechanical control models.

  14. Trib says:

    All it takes are a handful of liberals to whine and the govt to hire some college moron to fuck up something. My washer now has a lock on it because govt afraid kids would get burned. last night it broke. Now the door will not open and it sounds an alarm. had to dissemble washer to manually unclock and open/ stop the alarm. seems these locks plastic and break all the time. I will now rig/bypass this mtf’er.

  15. Gregbee says:

    I just bought a replacement nozzle at a Menards in town for 5 bucks before tax. Flexible nozzle and 2 different thread pattern caps for old & new style cans.

  16. C.R. says:

    Look how the Government fucked up the toilets . in the effort to use less water we went from a 4 gallon flush to a 1.9 gallon flush. the old style would work like a champ,the new style won’t work well. if at all generaly I have to flush the damn thing 2 or 4 times to clear it so I end up using More water and as an added bonus Im also fucking grouchy because I have to fool around 3 times as long to send a turd away Thanks tree hugging fucktards!

  17. Booger says:

    Try VP Racing gas cans. I have to haul gas for my boat and they work perfectly.

  18. James says:

    OK,my apologies to the folks at Speed Queen!I admit did not dig deep,saw them pretty machines but saw electronic controls,and,well…..panicked!Thanks for pointing those units out and folks still have decent options,that said,probably keep rebuilding/scavenging on dump day parts and keep the old stuff running.Good to know those who do not have the time have decent options.

  19. M. Sage says:

    I’ve got a “new style” gas can that actually works pretty well. It’s got a lever you squeeze to start fuel flow, so it really doesn’t spill, unlike the “push down on the nozzle” kind that you always slip and end up spilling fuel everywhere.

    Only thing I had to do was rip off the stupid little lever that locks the valve closed. You needed three hands to hold the can up, flip the lock off, and push the lever down.

  20. Okie says:

    That “twenty mule team” borax stuff is great for cleaning darn near everything.
    I scammed a dozen containers from an old employer that held “other” chemicals from the electronics industry (flux). I had to retrofit the lids with a nipple and hose but works great. Only disadvantage is five gallons is the smallest container size. Has a screw on type vent as well.

  21. Bob says:

    I need a new gas can for my chainsaw. I like the one with the attached bar oil tank. Cannot find them in the Peoples Republic of California. My kid in Oregon is going to score one. I feel like a 17 year old trying to score some beer.

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