Prepping – Florida style

Here’s how I know a hurricane is coming: We have lentils.

We NEVER eat lentils. I am not 100 percent sure what a lentil is. I do know for a fact that not once has anybody in our household ever said, “You know what would be great for dinner tonight? Lentils!”

But at the moment we have roughly a 45-year supply of lentils on hand. This is because we are in Hurricane Preparedness Freakout Mode, and one of the things we Floridians do in this mode is go to Publix and get in long lines to buy mass quantities of things we will never eat. Publix could put out a big display of cans labeled “Toad Intestines Packed In Snail Vomit” and we Floridians would snap them all up in minutes. That’s how prepared we are.
MORE
-WiscoDave

This entry was posted in Florida, Prepping, WiscoDave. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Prepping – Florida style

  1. Heathen says:

    Aristippus passed Diogenes as he was washing lentils.

    He said, “If you could but learn to flatter the king, you would not have to live on lentils.”

    Diogenes said, “And if you could learn to live on lentils, you would not have to flatter the king.”

  2. Gregbee says:

    pass on the toad intestines

  3. Gater, OKC, OK says:

    A forty-five year supply of lentils?

    Oh, you mean two cans.

  4. Bill says:

    Send those lentil to me. I make a wicked lentil stew and a wicked lentil soup. mmmmm!

  5. CC says:

    Always make black beans & lentils in the crock pot with whatever’s left of the Christmas ham.
    Good stuff, and although you have to soak the beans overnight, the lentils can go in right after a wash.

  6. Tom W. says:

    Plenty of tofu, vegan, quinoa, lentils and all the other hippie foods in the stores.

    Finished my exterior preps ( and my cute single neighbors ) ready for the final run for supplies.
    Cigs and wine.

  7. Brother Antony says:

    Love lentil and ham thick soup. You can pop in anything else you have lying around unless its halal and if it is go shove it down the the throat of the bastard that sold it to you then add bacon.

    http://allrecipes.com/recipe/91605/slow-cooker-lentil-and-ham-soup/

  8. Bobo the Hobo says:

    Carrabbas sausage and lentils – to freaking die for!

    http://www.food.com/recipe/carrabbas-sausage-and-lentil-soup-162864

  9. John Deaux says:

    Ahh come on. Lentils aren’t that bad, just gotta season them right

  10. ChuckN says:

    “That’s how prepared we are.” – If you’re rampaging through the grocery store at the
    last minute your prepping skills are worthless.

  11. Gator says:

    It never ceases to amaze me just how unprepared people in these areas are. We just left FL, but live in another hurricane prone area, where I have no doubt the people are just as unprepared. For a couple hundred dollars, spent spread out over the hurricane off season, you can have plywood for all your doors and windows, a gallon of water per person per day, 3 cans of some kind of soup per day, and a sterno camp stove with extra fuel to heat it up with(sure, you can just open the can and eat it, but who wants to do that). Last but not least, fill your fucking car up as soon as it even looks like a storm is forming, and top it off regularly. This is a minimum, obviously, and Im sure most on here are in much better shape than that. But this will keep you from looking like these fucktards, and battling strangers in stores. People say “We only had a couple days to prepare, and the stores were empty” and other such excuses. No, motherfucker, you’ve had however long you’ve lived in fucking Florida to get prepared.

    • Wirecutter says:

      Shit man, that’s the way I’ve been prepping for years – food, water, ammo, etc.
      Every time I go to the store I buy a little extra and put it back.

  12. Oswald Bastable says:

    Lentils are something food eats.

Comments are welcome. Trolls will be banned and then shot.