We’re doomed

As wall street analysts celebrate the coming of age of the millennial generation, a group of young people who were supposed to lead another revolutionary wave of consumerism if only they could work long enough to escape their parents’ basement, retailers like Home Depot are panicked about selling into what will soon be America’s largest demographic…but not for the reasons you might think.

While avocado resellers like Whole Foods only have to worry about creating a catchy advertising campaign to attract millennials, Home Depot is in full-on panic mode after realizing that an entire generation of Americans have absolutely no clue how to use their products. As the Wall Street Journal points out, the company has been forced to spend millions to create video tutorials and host in-store classes on how to do everything from using a tape measure to mopping a floor and hammering a nail.

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24 Responses to We’re doomed

  1. Winston Smith says:

    Oh fer Crissakes! Gimme a break!
    HomeD was doing in store classes over 20 years ago. Sounds like this was written by a Millennial that thinks the world started when they became self aware, What a bunch of fucking snowflakes.

    And besides, when they inherit the upper floor of their residence, they will be in desperate need of repairs.

  2. pew!luis says:

    Well I’ve been doing my part by buying extra ammo.

    • sk6actual says:

      I must admit, I had many tutorials on reloading, bore sighting and blind construction. :) …

  3. Done in Dallas says:

    I don’t know. I think it is true. Story…

    Got some kid at work here (H1-B visa if if makes a difference), got out of school and buys himself a Mercedes. Been noticing that the temp tag is now 5 months expired. Finally said something to the dude and turns out he had the plates, just no screw driver. Take him outside, get a screwdriver out of the truck and hand it to him. Yeah, he has not handled tools too much before, fumbling around with it. Dude, righty tighty and the whole 9 yards.

    • Mike_C says:

      > H1-B visa
      Brown (Indian, Pakistani, or God help us, Gulf Arab) or yellow (east Asian)? Might also be an issue of “Manual ‘labor’ is beneath me.” Even those that can do something with their hands often are reluctant to do so once they hit a certain rank or station in life.

      More generally, our American expectation of leading by example (okay, fine, you rose through the ranks and now do admin/supervisory work instead of turning a wrench, but your guys won’t respect you if you don’t know HOW to turn a wrench, i.e. do the actual work) is totally the opposite of e.g. Korean culture where a manager being seen to turn a wrench actually takes away his credibility because no exalted manager-type person would stoop to turning a wrench.

      For a long time I didn’t realize how unusual my father (Chinese, and an academic at that) was in teaching me that doing stuff with your hands was a good thing.

      Oh yeah,
      > the temp tag is now 5 months expired
      So, if my guess of “brown or yellow” is correct, so much for “the cops hassle minorities” meme. Five months with an expired temp tag?

  4. ZombieDawg says:

    Yes but they can use knives and guns…
    I’d imagine bucket sales would be good – to catch all their tears ;-)

  5. tripseven says:

    I dont think the problem is “how” to do something. You can learn that with all the various online tutorials, forums, Youtube etc. I think the main problem is actually getting these youngsters to do something strenuous.

  6. Tom MacGyver says:

    I work with millennials who drive $40K+ cars, but don’t know how to change a tire or check the oil. They call AAA for one, and go to Jiffy-Lube for the other. They call an electrician to swap out a light switch because they’re “afraid of electricity” (what aren’t they afraid of?) I couldn’t imagine being that dependent… at twenty-something…

    • crazyeighter says:

      When I was learning my trade as a flight tech, my mentor advised me “Go for it; there is no ‘broke’, ‘broker’, and ‘brokest’.”

    • Mike_C says:

      > I work with millennials who drive $40K+ cars, but don’t know how to change a tire or check the oil.
      Not only that, but most are not interested in learning HOW to do it, even if you offer to teach them. At least in my experience. Now if someone said, “It’s not cost-effective for me to swap out the light switch, because I make more per hour than an electrician” [which *I* don’t, incidentally] that’s one thing, but yeah, it’s don’t know how, and afraid to try.

  7. Anderson says:

    Fuck Home Depot. They were one of the pioneers of the self-checkout, to save on ‘labor’ costs. You reap what you sow. Looking forward to reading about Home Depot’ s future bankruptcy filing.

    • Local town, when a guy found out that his wallet was stolen out of his car, he drove down to Home Depot and staked out the ‘self-checkout’ lanes until he saw his distinctive wallet come out of a dudes pocket. Hilarity ensued.

  8. Kv says:

    Look at it this way, folks: at least they’ll keep us in spare change. I’ve got folks approaching me to do minor maintenance on their rides – 2- and 4-wheeled – as well as fix-it jobs at their homes, and they give this 61-year-old Industrial Mechanic a handful of cash when I’m done. I’ve offered to show ’em how to do the easy stuff, and most are content to say “No thanks! I’ll just call you!” Hey, whatever. I can always use the extra!

  9. Irish says:

    We’re doomed is right. You can’t find any talented help in the trades around here. Machinists, electricians , plumbers, carpenters. All the guys I interact with that are business owners are late 40s and up. No one can find good help.

    • Trib says:

      True, but luckily local plumbers , A/C, mechanics in our town are hiring ex military some with experience some without to be trained by our old farts. These young guys understand orders and know how to learn and work. Had one show up the other night , ex Marine, at 10pm to fix my A/C. Did a great job, was polite, and work non stop. So, my definition of a millennial is a college bum with no military or work experience.

    • Exile1981 says:

      I had a young politician come by my house to see if I would vote for them. They asked about my spirsl stairs. I said I built it myself as well as the whole house. They were floored I knew how to do that.

    • Andrew says:

      Part of the problem is there is no way to get experience. Seriously. Has been that way for over 40 years. Tech schools are dying right and left, community colleges are going 4 year and getting rid of their tech programs.

      Can’t have people in the trades if you don’t let them in the trades.

      I blame most of this on HR and Finance departments, who don’t allow interns and unskilled trainees to be hired. But trade unions are also to blame.

  10. Sigproshooter says:

    I too see these things and we all knew people our age who were as helpless growing up. The country didn’t burn then either. Don’t lose hope folks. The two my wife and I brought up are doing it correctly and not part of this problem. There are many more out there who did the same.

    • WoodBurner says:

      I believe every generation at one time was thought to be the worst ever.

      Nice how it all works out.

  11. Steve says:

    I think it was called “shop” back in my day….


  12. Okie says:

    Aren’t too many things I can’t fix. Make a pretty decent living off of being a wrench.
    I lernt from watching older men than me. The new crop doesn’t give a hoot, only to replace what’s broken with a newer, cheaper alternative.

  13. bill says:

    Dude’s, 1976 the day after graduation the movers came in the skools machine shop and removed all of the SOUTH-BEND machine tools to make room for art class space.As for the kids, 26yr. old beat nik fucktards get off the phone and pick up your purse and go to work. Talk to employers and the # 1 reason they can not hire is due to drugs and felony record. DUI in a job where you drive/ on call 24/7 no way too mucho $$$$. Tools harbor freight/bass-pro shop. If a guy really wants to work then work. 2eyes,2ears, 1 mouth. STFU and learn.Remember Penn-Foster schools ? The .mil org will get you nothing unless your a nuke/electrician. all others hit the road. 2 more years till I get out of the work force. useless eater. Yep

  14. Deacon in La says:

    Look at the car insurance ad where the mother and son are standing facing the camera. The mother praises the insurance for rescuing her son when he had a flat tire. The ad flashes to three young men stranded because the parents bought the wrong insurance

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