Fanciest hunting blind I’ll ever shoot out of

A couple weeks ago when it was ass biting cold with a couple inches of ice and snow on the ground I noticed a pile of frozen coyote shit right outside the chicken coop door. Yes, I’m very familiar with coyote shit – smaller than Charlie’s, bigger than Legal Lucy’s and full of hair and feather bits. Then I started checking tracks, trying to see what was mixed in with my dog’s tracks and bigger than shit, there were coyote prints, nice and crisp and pretty good sized. Fuckers…
I didn’t trip on it too much, I figured the colder weather and lack of rodents would bring them in closer to the house but when it warmed up they’d go back to their normal routine and routes. And then there’s mating – I’m not sure when they mate around here but in Central California it was usually around the second week of January so they could throw their litters in mid March when it warmed up, a coyote’s gestation period being about 62 days give or take a day or two. Mating may be a little later around here because of the colder climate, I’ll have to check it out. But yeah, coyotes tend to range a little further during mating season so that might also account for the tracks.

Today when I was finished shooting and headed back to the house, I saw another pile of coyote shit and it was fresh, I mean just a few hours old – it had rained pretty good up until an hour or two before dawn and this pile hadn’t rain melted at all so I figure it was shat out sometime between 5 and 7 AM when I got up and around. I wasn’t so curious about the age that I checked it for warmth though – a two hour spread was good enough for me.
This bothered me. I’ve got two dogs that we let out pretty much unsupervised when they want to go out and I don’t want either my little dog or my old dog killed by coyotes. I told Lisa that I was going to have to break down and spend the money to buy a game cam or two so I can get an idea of the direction they’re coming in from and the time stamp so I can shoot them without staying up and out all fucking night trying to second guess the wind shifts. There was a time not too long ago when I was perfectly happy and content to lay up in a tractor rut waiting for a ‘maybe’ shot, but those days were over when my knees started aching for no reason. Hell, I’m not even sure they’re making my place a nightly or even a weekly stop, another reason for the game cams.
Anyways, once I explained to Lisa about needing to know their time and direction of travel so I could get a few good shooting positions set up for different wind conditions, she suggested that I set up in the kitchen, take the screen down from the window above the sink and pop the motherfuckers from there and maybe we can save the expense of the game cams.
I’m not sure what was funnier, her being white trash enough to be the one to suggest ambushing coyotes out of the kitchen or the thought of her levitating in bed when I fired that 22-250 out the window in the dead of night. And then there’s my poor gun-shy Legal Lucy – she’d probably go catatonic on me.
But trust me on this: if I get up in the middle of the night to piss and see a coyote dicking around on my property, I will blast his ass, screen on the window or not.

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31 Responses to Fanciest hunting blind I’ll ever shoot out of

  1. livintoride says:

    make damn sure you write a good story to go with the pictures that i know you’ll take..
    i can hardly wait ;-)

  2. warhorse says:

    most places you can’t hunt within a certain distance of an occupied structure. I know in NH it’s 300 feet. which meant when they put that damned development down next to my property most of it was now off limits to hunting.

    so blast away, just don’t get caught.

    • WiscoDave says:

      You can if you get owner/occupant permission.

      • Wirecutter says:

        I hereby give myself permission.

      • warhorse says:

        yeah i have permission but according to the local fish & game guy it’s 300 feet “because I don’t want you blasting Bambi from your porch”

        not that he’d know the difference. collect your empty shells and move the gut pile. easy enough.

        • crazyeighter says:

          …the local fish & game guy it’s 300 feet “because I don’t want you blasting Bambi from your porch””

          Fuck him. It’s my land, my porch, my rifle and none of his fucking business.

    • rocketride says:

      Most places, if it’s your house and nobody else’s occupied structure is within the radius, it’s not remotely a legal issue unless you somehow shot without your own permission.

  3. skybill says:

    Hi Kenny,
    ‘Have ta’ say, I had a good laugh or two reading this!!!! But seriously, coyotes are not to be taken lightly!! Like you said, two “GOOD REASONS!!” Lucy and Charlie for starters!! I recall from daze gone by in So. Cal. where some Airline pilot heard his 2 yr. old daughter screaming along side the house by the drive way !! Going to investigate, he found his daughter being dragged off by a coyote!! Needless to say he intervened!!!!! Children, dogs, cats, calves, lambs and other “livestock!!” Take their monkey coyote asses out!! Is there a “Bounty” on them?? If not there should be 24/7/365!! At least $10 a pop…. one could make a good livin’ off that if the bitches were numerous and I’m sure they are!!!
    Keep us posted on your “Success!!!!” Photos too!!!!!!
    Take out one for me!! I lost my Calico Cat “Ruggy’ to coyotes back when I was livin’ in west Pasadena in ’83. All I found of her was a tuft of her fur on the carport!!
    PS Think I recall you postin’ a vid of a bunch of “Kill Shots” from a coyote hunt? If you have it, please post it again,,,,

  4. pdwalker says:

    Lisa’s a peach.

  5. Yep, you got a keeper there WC. Mine won’t let me shoot out the kitchen window, just off the porch.

  6. Elmo says:

    If your place is like mine, they’ll just keep getting braver and braver. One time they stood 50′ from the front porch in the middle of the day and stared my wife down.

    Do you have a game cam? They’re not very expensive these days.

    • Elmo says:

      Oops. sorry. I just caught that part of the story. Missed it the first time, being half asleep. You’re way ahead of me, as usual.

  7. Jim in Tulsa says:

    Ken, sounds like if I decide to “drop by,” it might be a good idea to call ahead.

    • Shell says:

      Bet that. You come up on the property of country folk who don’t know you and your greeting is likely to be *BANG* “Who are you and what do you want!?”

  8. Unclezip says:

    Popped a possum out the bathroom window a couple of months ago with a Single-Six .22, and never even broke my stream — Baroness just rolled over in bed and went right back to sleep.

    Don’t like possum.

    • Elmo says:

      Red neck multi-tasking – I like it!

    • rayvet says:

      Just looked at a Ruger Single Six the other day with ability to shoot both 22LR and 22 magnum. Is this the gun you have Zip? Does it shoot as nice as it looks?

      • Sanders says:

        They are a lot of fun to shoot. One of my daughters has a 3-screw in .22 Mag and my middle daughter I gave a used convertible .22LR/.22 MAG.

        Ruger said they’d fit a .22 LR cylinder to the .22 Mag for $60. They also want to do the safety conversion on it, but promised they would return all the parts so I could retrofit it for collector value.

  9. guy says:

    “…fired that 22-250 out the window in the dead of night”

    A 12ga was bad enough for me. I had just cleaned up the mess a family of raccoons made on my deck, turned around and saw them heading right back again. I was so pissed off I guess I’m happy I remembered to throw the window up before I unloaded at them.

    Heh, luckily my nearest neighbour isn’t all that close. If the shots didn’t scare him, my angry bellowing would have.

    My ears mostly stopped ringing.

  10. Daz says:

    I agree that your wife might levitate , or bounce off the ceiling , it happened to me . As a seven year old kid living on a farm where pop kept sheep , about two hundred of them , spring is a bad time for dogs getting into sheep and chasing them around Untill they abort or rip them to pieces , one night pop hears the dogs going ballistic a bright moon lit night , comes into my bedroom with a double barreled 12 bore loaded with government issue brass caused slugs threw open the window and let rip with both barrels , I think I hit the ceiling , someone lost their German Shepard that night , I lost the rest of the nights sleep .

  11. Annie says:

    My first kill was using my (then) new 22 to kill a chipmunk out of the kitchen window of our previous place years ago. Hubby thought I was a little crazy shooting from the house, but it worked. I know you’re laughing about the fact that I’m boasting about killing a chipmunk, but the place was overrun with them and I was pissed at the little buggers sitting there taunting me.

    Having a game cam or two to pin down the coyote movements would be a good thing, regardless of where you’re going to set up the ambush. A couple of livestock guardian dogs (we have Great Pyrenees) goes a long way towards reducing the coyote problems as well, but even with the Pyrs we lost half a dozen geese to the coyotes one year when I put them out in the back field.

    • Wirecutter says:

      Great Pyrenees are fantastic coyote dogs. Shepherds in California use the hell out of them.

      • Sanders says:

        Get a llama – they’ll stomp a coyote.

        I hear donkeys will too, but never saw anyone use a guard donkey.

        But I have seen guard llamas. Used to see one sitting on a little hilltop all the time on the Navajo Reservation SE of Bloomfield, NM pm Highway 550. He was watching over the sheep.

        • Wirecutter says:

          Coyote donkeys are pretty big in California.
          The guy right behind me has a couple donkeys which is probably why they’re using my property to get from Point A to Point B.

        • Cederq says:

          I had three donkeys and a riding mule. I had about 35 Boer goats at any time and they protected my herd like crazy. Coyotes, dogs even a small alligator that had come onto my property. This was down in Alabama just north of Abbeville.

        • crazyeighter says:

          “Watching over the sheep” or “selecting tonight’s date”??

  12. Sanders says:

    If you are using a scope, screens really mess with your sight picture. I put one through the dining room window on a coyote once with an M14. That was before a bunch of houses got built next to my property and the town decided to build a cop shop, fire station, and dog pound back there.

  13. Andrew says:

    Hey, enough dead yotes and you could have a nice jacket.

  14. =TW= says:

    A few years back I was visiting my cousin in N.C. Christmas dinner was venison steaks.

    Story was, her husband was taking a leak and spotted a little forkhorn through the bathroom window.
    He yelled, “Honey, get the rifle!”
    She didn’t ask why- she just brought the .30-30. (She was brought up right.)

    These are some good, down-home folks. They’ll do anything for friends and family.
    But don’t piss ’em off.

  15. Back woods okie says:

    If you don’t take the screen off make sure that the muzzle is against the screen. I didn’t and the muzzle blast made a hole you could throw a chair through. Lol

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