Question: Who puts it on?

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13 Responses to Question: Who puts it on?

  1. Padawan says:

    My cat has opposable thumbs but she has yet to figure out how they work.

  2. Bear says:

    Advertising campaign for spaying/neutering. In San Francisco.

    Reports have it they canceled the campaign when too many residents tried ordering them for their own pet sessions. (I made that part up; but being SF…)

  3. loaded4bear says:

    I would pay good money to watch someone try to put one on a cat.

    • Sabre22 says:

      I agree that would be fun to watch you might want to have an ambulance on standby though

    • Leonard Jones says:

      You won the Internet with this post! I rescued Slow Poke Rodriguez II
      from a paper mill where I worked. He was a perfect Tuxedo B/W kitten.
      I had to ask a coworker to help me get the little bastard into a box to
      to take him to the vet, spent $400.00 to get him cured of intestinal
      parasites, and take him home. Every attempt to stuff his ass into a
      pet carrier to get him fixed resulted in bloody hands!

      Even as a kitten, the this feral fucker was as strong as a bull Elephant.
      You could not pay me enough to put a condom on his little red rocket! I
      doubt putting one on a horny dog would result in success. Of all of
      the idiotic liberal notions, this one takes the cake. One of the things
      that defines modern liberal ideology is their complete ingorance of
      human and animal nature.

      My favorite examples are the couple that thought it a good idea to
      smear honey on their 3-year-old daughter’s hand so they could
      snap a picture of a bear licking the honey off her hand. The girl
      survived, minus her hand.

      Another was the idiot who traveled to Alaska to commune with
      bears. Among his followers was a women whom he later married.
      Their honeymoon was a trip to Alaska. They both ended bear
      shit! Mammy Nature is a cruel bitch, and even domesticated
      animals are driven by instinct.

      • Cpl/Major Mike says:

        I grabbed a tiny feral kitten one day, big mistake, he chomped down on my thumb and I’m about to cry, my wifes is telling me to let him go and I’m yelling that I can’t because he has hold of me. I finally pried his little jaws open enough to get my thumb out when he chomped down on the other one and we started over. Finally got loose with no more bites, that’s when it dawned on me that I was standing about 2 feet from the pool and could probably have escaped easier by sticking my hand in it. Unless he decided to run up my arm and over my face.

        • Andrew says:

          At cat shows (yes, they are a thing) the breed called “Russian Blue” is known to be bug-fuck crazy, especially the males.

          Was at one show (hey, don’t judge me, bro) where a Russian Blue male got out of control. Took 5 people to subdue the beast. One on each leg and one with his hand in the mouth of the cat. Manblood everywhere. It was a nightmare. And funny as shit, now.

        • Leonard Jones says:

          I had the same experience. I was doing a job an ARCO
          facility near Bakersfield. Inside a storage shed, someone
          set up a box, lined it with clean grease rags for a littler
          of feral cats. Even feral kittens can be dangerous.
          3 or 4 of them clawed and chewed the shit out of my
          hand!

  4. fjord says:

    Animal bites to humans up 4000%.

    I have no idea why.

  5. Jed-Clamp-It says:

    The Muslim.

  6. bogsidebunny says:

    Call your local PETA representative for application assistance.

  7. grayjohn says:

    The gay veterinarian.

  8. Rick says:

    Ok , true story. Knew a gal in Florida – talented musician. Her and hubby had a cat, a rabbit, and a Chihuahua , all males. She decided she knew when they were horny and felt sorry for them.
    One day, she jerked off the dog, and she was so happy she’d eased his problem, she tried it on the rabbit. Son of a gun, he liked it too!
    So now she’s got two happy, calm and contented animals, and one cranky, hornery half wild cat. Of course! He probably needs a HAND JOB!
    Well . At first, the cat put up with it. Then suddenly he hissed and struggled and ended up clawing the hell outta her arms, face, and chest. She finally let him go and he tore out of the house, and promptly got run over and killed in the road.
    We had to cancel 2 gigs til she healed up. But the emotional scars, man – they’ll never fade.

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