Don’t forget to bring a gun in case you see something to kill

There’s a revolutionary new way to walk through the forest. V-e-r-y slowly.

Take a few steps. That’s far enough. Now sit down and talk it over with the person next to you, for a long time.

It’s a New Age thing in Sonoma County. Walking very slowly through the forest — while thinking about walking very slowly through the forest — is a full-blown movement. It could be a paradigm. The people who do this call it “forest bathing.” It doesn’t involve actual bathing, the kind with water. It’s figurative bathing. You soak in the wonders of the forest. Take your time, a whole lot of it. And bring a cushion.

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22 Responses to Don’t forget to bring a gun in case you see something to kill

  1. sal says:

    Been doing it for years – I call it mushroom hunting.

    • Winston Smith says:

      I thought you did that in open cow pastures. Makes communing a lot easier and all that.

  2. Nemo says:

    …and they wonder why we call them far left loons.

  3. anonymous says:

    Hey, its Cali. Wouldn’t it work better to get yourself in middle of nowhere, take a hit or three then just ‘veg out’ and look at the scenery ?

  4. Jeremy says:

    I do it. My dad does it. My grandfather used to do it… We were way ahead of our time. We just call it still hunting and carry a gun when we do it.

  5. Max Damage says:

    “After 20 minutes of human-tree conversation — much of it one-sided — we forest bathers returned to the same spot and sat down in the same circle to share our conversations with our trees.

    “My tree asked me why I was so afraid,” said one forest bather.

    “My tree said it thought that we could grow together,” said another forest bather.”

    I want some of whatever these people are smoking.

  6. Rob says:

    Don’t miss the comment from “teebonicus:”

    *BOING* Cuckoo, *BOING* Cuckoo, *BOING* Cuckoo…….

  7. Aesop says:

    Didja have a stroke, or just accidentally cut and paste 7 other random headline items together in that first paragraph?

  8. singlestack says:

    “There’s a revolutionary new way to walk through the forest. V-e-r-y slowly”

    That’s been done for a v-e-r-y long time. It’s called stillhunting…

    Except for the part about having someone with me and talking that’s pretty much how I stillhunt. I move slowly and stop often, sitting still for long periods. It may take me all day to go 500 yards, if I go that far.
    I enjoy the birds, squirrels, mice, or whatever else comes along. I’ve literally had turkeys step over my legs and once had a fox come up to me and sniff me.
    I scan the woods both near and far, looking closely both broadly and at details. Sometimes a deer will be invisible but give itself away by the twitch of an ear or shake of its tail. Having a keen interest in botany I like to look at the details of the plants around me as much as the wildlife. I carry a Peterson’s bird guide and a pocket book on plant identification.
    I find a day of stillhunting calming and relaxing. I’m there for the enjoyment of the woods as much as killing a deer. Even if my hunt isn’t successful I don’t consider it a wasted day.
    I work in a high stress job and when I get the chance I go out in the woods outside of hunting season too. I walk farther than I do during hunting season but I basically do the same thing, just without my .30-30. The stress just melts away and I feel refreshed afterward.
    I’m not so far removed from the real natural world that I think of it as some kind of new age pseudo-religious experience like the goofy fucker that wrote that article.

  9. Paulo says:

    Flakes, flakes everywhere, and not a snowstorm in sight. They had something similar up here on Vancouver Island a few years ago. They called it, ‘Treebathing’. Participants were supposed to walk up to large trees and commune with them. Honest. (Whatever happened to just standing in awe at the majesty of nature)? Why do idiots have to turn it into some kind of movement? Why does it have to be organized and involve a group? I just don’t get it.

    Anyway, in the mornings I take my dog for a walk, watch the sunrise and listen to the birds. Two days ago I came upon a cougar kill by our pond. This is the third time a cougar has ‘ditched’ his kill at the base of this particular large cedar tree. It is a different cougar every time, so it’s interesting. There are lots of other trees around. They drag the kills to just this one tree. How do I know this? Suffice to say the other cougars are no longer with us as they also liked my sheep and chickens. To shorten the story I took the pup home and grabbed my .30 30 and went for a long slow walk in the forest. :-) I have many trails pre-cut for the elk to move through and they are great for just easing along, slow. Commune? I listen to the ravens and stellar jays. They are big talkers, but the ravens are smart enough to actually lead cougars into prey. This has happened to tree planters. The jays mob up when they see any cat, housecat…cougar, hawks. The ravens also mob the hawks. It is beyond interesting. Time stands still and awareness is focused to a pin point. This time the cougar moved on out and left the kill untouched. Something is either wrong with it or it was spooked. You can feel them if they are watching you. They crouch, hide, and watch…..most people never see them.

  10. oltanker says:

    It’s a great technique for rabbit hunting. We used to walk the pasture. Cottontails would hear, and they’d hide. If you stopped for a minute, they’d think you’d spotted them and one would take off running, making an easy target.

  11. Jack says:

    Amos Clifford: (1) wrote a $15 PAPERBACK book—how many trees have been sacrificed for them? (2) Charges these dimwits $50 a pop to slowwalk in the woods and $3400 for ‘workshops’. if I were a tree I’d drop a heavy limb on these folks for killing my species. Amos has a good scam goin.

  12. Sanders says:

    They’ve discovered hunting. How novel.

  13. SAM says:

    So how old were they before they learned to walk and talk at the same time?

  14. JB says:

    If I’m carryin’ a long gun, I call it “hunting”, if I’m carryin’ a bag, I call it “mushroom hunting”. It’s what I tried to instill in the boy growin’ up, if yer quiet, and ya walk careful, and sit long and still, you’ll see and hear the woods like ya weren’t even there.
    Galldamn city people are dumber’n a bag’a hammers…

  15. Djamer says:

    These people live in places called cities, and they very rarely ever leave the places called cities, and when they do leave the places called cities, this is what happens to them. . .

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