“Move over son, I’ll find it”

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32 Responses to “Move over son, I’ll find it”

  1. Frankie says:

    Lane,Jose doesn’t look to happy with you?

  2. Odgreen says:

    Hahahahaha, O’Reillys, Ace, Home Depot, it doesn’t matter, same stuff, different store! I could run ’em all and so could my boys. And Kenny, if that’s not you, he sure runs a close second in the Wirecutter look alike contest!

    • Wirecutter says:

      If he had long raggedy hair and some ink, it would be pretty doggone close, huh?

      What irritates the hell out of me is not matter what you’re ordering, I don’t care if it’s a 12 inch piece of vacuum hose, they want to know make and model, year and engine size.

      • Bacon says:

        The bulk of the blame for this goes to the programmers who wrote the computerized inventory systems, and to the upper management execs who decided on the system specifications.

        The problem is inherent in database systems architecture. The only practical way to avoid it is to change the decision process by heavily involving end-users from the initial phases. This costs money and time, but most of all, it requires a degree of humility that most execs lack.

        Just like we need to get “politicians” out of politics and “lawyers” out of the courts and “educators” ouf of the schools, if we want to fix the millions of petty annoyances that irritate consumers, we need to get “executives” out of management.

        We do many things well, but our society tends to fail miserably at keeping parasites out of the places where they do the most harm. This ultimately harms everyone, including the parasites.

        • Roy says:

          Bacon pretty much nailed it here.

          I work for a very large worldwide service organization, and Oh My God, the roadblocks they put in place between me and my customers is legion.

          Goofy, nonworking database systems is only one part of it.

          Their pet platitude nowadays is “Focus on the customer”. But everyone who deals with them knows that the focus is on the customer only when it doesn’t cost anything. Otherwise, the focus is *always* on the pennies going through the pinching machine.

        • Andrew says:

          What Bacon said, squared.

      • Phssthpok says:

        I usually rattle off a whole stream of specifics that have absolutely ZERO relation to what I’m asking for.

        Need a starter? I’ll rattle off specifics right down to power windows and adjustable seats…. just to spite the fuckers!

      • Andrew says:

        Oh, and then there’s the fight because your vehicle is ‘strange.’ Had a Ford Aerostar with a 2.8ltr Mustang engine in it. Parts databases didn’t include that small production run.

        Many a time I had to have the parts-dude walk out and actually look at the damned engine and the damned engine info decal. Which, inevitably led to “Damn, never seen that before…” Well, no shit, Sherlock. It’s what I’ve been telling you and showing you in my friggin FORD repair manual for the Aerostar with the 2.8ltr Mustang engine…


        Swear to God, you can go in there with every correct part number and they’d still manage to figure out a way to find the wrong part and try to charge you for it.

  3. p kerit says:

    When I ask for parts for the cars I drive, the autoparts stores employees have never heard of the parts. Ballast resistor, heater hose shut off valve. The manager asked me what the valve was. Seems like heater hose shutoff valve is a good description

    • Phssthpok says:

      I once went to a stealership parts dept to seek out a “Passenger side lower torque strut for a 91 Corsica 3.1L”.

      The parts counter guy told me in no uncertain, yet quite condescending, terms that it was a ‘motor mount’ not a ‘Torque strut’…told me it would be about a week to get in.

      Called another stealership about 30 miles away. Asked for a ‘motor mount’. Parts guy said they had one in stock, that if would care to hold for a moment he’d go in back and ‘lay his hands on it’ just to make sure the computer wasn’t lying to him, and that, in fact the proper term was ‘torque strut’.

      Guess who got my business?

      • Andrew says:

        Yeah, used to run the parts counter for a boat store. Weird shit the ‘suits’ at the company called shit. Got so good I could find the doohickey connected to the whatsyoucallit that goes next to the …. “You mean this?” (show the picture) “Yeah, that. That right there. Guy at X-BoatMart says it will be 2 weeks.” “Oh, if I order it from OMC it will be in in three days, but… Oh, here’s one on the shelf, along with 20 others as it’s the one of the most common parts we sell.”

        Usually something very simple like a spark plug cover. Seriously. A friggin spark plug cover.

        Or a thermostat… gasket. Guys would come in all the time to buy a thermostat but not the gasket. See them next day buying a gasket and you have to not laugh or say sarcastic things.

        Or water pump impellors. Lots of people used to sell you a whole water pump kit, but not impellers. Stupid little piece-of-crap $5 to $15 dollar part that if you don’t buy a good one and put it in correctly, will burn up your big ticket engine in nothing flat.

        But, yeah, nowadays, if I go to a part store I look for the old guy. Odds on, even if the Old Guy is the newest employee in the store, he still knows 100 times more about shit than the young whippersnapper.

  4. Sanders says:

    Heh! I did that this past weekend at Vatozone.

  5. POd American says:

    This looks familiar….My son usually walks behind the counter and does his own search, then goes to the shelves and pulls his part. But, he also knows the manager.

  6. Differ says:

    My local O’Reilly’s has a couple of young guys who do know their stuff. And O’Reilly’s system lets them search items without needing to ask yr make model… better than all the others IMHO.

    • Inbred Redneck says:

      Yeah, at my closest O’Reilly’s I try to talk to the guy behind the counter who drives the Chevy Vega with the 350ci motor on which he’s done all the work himself. He knows what I need when I ask for the hooliemadang that attaches to the whatamacallit with the gizmo hangin’ off the kickdown linkage for the Dynaflush traction-modulatin’ 6-speed radiator. He just walks back and gets me the right cotter pin and a tube of transmogrifyin’ grease and gives me 10% off the prices. It’s nice dealin’ with an expert. Some of the youngsters, eh, not so much.

      • Andrew says:

        Why does it scare me that I understood what you just described and I was thinking it was going to be some simple part of some linkage (like those little plastic parts that go in the holes in metal parts that linkage parts snap into) and you said ‘cotter pin.’

        Weird, huh?

  7. Jesse in DC says:

    I fucking HATE breaking in new parts people. Does not matter if it is the dealer, Nappy, or Retard Auto parts. Why the fuck do they hire id10Ts that have never seen a part before? I buy parts books on Ebay so I can bypass the bullshit with the old Jags, but newer cars are harder…When you get to the weird shit like TVRs, where I have to know approximately what car the part came off of, and “I need the make” etc… Well OK asshole, it is an 86 TVR 280i. Look THAT up… Arrrgggh.

    • Wirecutter says:

      What pisses me off is when they want to know that cab style of my truck (“Is that Crew, Super Crew, or a fucking cockpit, sir?”) when I’m buying shit like spark plugs or coil packs. What the fuck, it’s an 2001 F-150 with a 5.2 liter engine and a lazy dog in the cab.

      • pigpen51 says:

        Ken, do you know where this is from? I think I know this guy. If not, he looks exactly like a guy I worked with for 35 years.

        • Wirecutter says:

          Nossir, I got it from one of the many picdumps I frequent to keep y’all entertained.

        • Andrew says:


          Go to where over 40 rednecks congregate. This is a ‘type’ amongst the whole population.

          Can be also a subsect of ‘Prepper’ or, hell, the local Feed and Seed store.

          Our noble host is just a veritable jem amongst a host of similar looking people.

      • RebPirate says:

        I own a Maverick. RARELY do I get a counter person who was even alive when most of them were on the road. NORMALLY I’m asked “who makes it?” My reply…nobody anymore, but Ford used to in the 70’s (’74). It also seems to puzzle them when I say it’s got a 250 straight six.

  8. not just auto parts.
    husband making tickets rez and had to give travel agent geography lesson, tell him the i.d. letters for the airports. guy tried to send husband all over usa just to get from point a to point b.
    i was at home depot buying downspout. boy didn’t know what it was so he called plumbing dep’t. for the price! i kept telling him it wasn’t plumbing. he ignored me so i went to a different checkout.
    home depot etc. must be too big to care about customer satisfaction.

    • Andrew says:

      I’ve always had more success in tracking down the Geezer Worker, the Old Guy, somewhere in Appliances or something and asking him. Inevitably he knows what I’m talking about and finds me Junior Skippy to take me to Whatever Department it is in.

      Home Despot is so bad, even their in-store automated computer thingy can’t tell you where to find it.

      (B)Lowes is usually somewhat more successful in providing good help, at least my local (B)Lowes.

      • Wirecutter says:

        The Orchard Supply in Modesto used to hire people retired from a trade to staff that particular section. They were great – they knew exactly what you needed and could tell you the correct way to do something.

  9. rightwingterrorist says:

    Better check that part you’re ordering every single time.
    I insist upon it.

    Oh, and Ken, for some reason I’m not able to follow the comments here by notifications. Everyone else lets me, but not Knuckledraggin.

  10. cwac says:

    Why not have them go look the part up in the catalog in back. I love it when the computer is down. They don’t have a clue how to look up a part in the paper catalog. Then I have have to show them how it’s done

    • RebPirate says:

      The chain stores (AZ & Advance) have gotten rid of most of the paper catalogs, unless you’re looking for plasti-chrome/pimp-mobile accessories

  11. PoppaGary says:

    I used to have a ’63 Fairlane that had a 221 V8 and talk about getting in to arguments with idiot parts counter guys. Would be asked if it was a diesel (because those were REAL common in early 60’s vintage passenger cars!) or told there was no such motor and I MUST be talking about a 260. When I heard that one I would tell the counter clerk to go tell my car that!
    Of course I would leave those places and go where they knew what they were talking about.
    Heck, I ever got in to a disagreement with a “Ford” guy on this topic.
    Sometimes I would simply ask for the parts for a 260, but then it was like, that car didn’t come with the 260 or other comments. Wish I still had that engine.

  12. Gryphon says:

    Want to have REAL Parts Fun? Old Aircraft that only a few Hundred were Made…. in 4 different Models and Serial Number Breaks. Parts Book doesn’t Show it, Engine Manual doesn’t Either. Pray You’ve got a Readable Part Number on the one You took Off. Six Parts Houses and 2 Airplane Junkyards later, the Part is coming Overnight from some Country you’ve never Heard of.

    • Andrew says:

      I know a guy who has a plane from the ’40s that he is rebuilding. And 3 of the same plane that he’s scavenging parts off like a Vulture trying to choose between 3 dead cows.

      Eventually he may actually have to buy a part. But so far he’s found it’s cheaper to just buy a junker and harvest it.

      And there are people out there who make good money buying wrecks and parting them out. Wait. Isn’t that what the US Marines are doing right now for their F-18’s?

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