Must be his first divorce

Especially if he thinks he’s not going to be spending more. My divorce cost me over 10 grand just in attorney fees, then when you factor in half the house, half my retirement, half this, half that…
And I didn’t have to pay alimony or child support.

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38 Responses to Must be his first divorce

  1. Aesop says:

    Divorces are expensive because they’re worth it.

  2. Skipperdaddy says:

    Ya never know a woman until you divorce her. For instance, I had no idea mine was a soul sucking tarantula spawn of Satan.

  3. H says:

    It’s expensive, no doubt. My costs were well over half of everything.

    And it was well worth every penny.

  4. Mals says:

    Money well spent.

  5. Scarecrow says:

    Why do most men die before their wives? They want to…

  6. odgreen says:

    I wouldn’t know. The charming Mrs. Green and I fell head over heels in love 36 years ago, she was 16, I was 21, not a day goes by that I don’t thank God that she STILL loves me and takes care of me. And after 7 children, she still looks as good as she did in ’82!

    • Wirecutter says:

      Some folks just get lucky.
      My congratulations.

    • Rayvet says:

      Nice odgreen. As it should be. Congratulations. I’m envious. I’m on wife 2 and this one, I believe, is my soulmate. Never felt that way with the first. Should have gone with my gut and waited it out. I’d have been half a mill richer. But then I’d never have my awesome daughter.

  7. Jerry says:

    His sign is kinda like a teeter totter. No $ balances with No Cat!

  8. D'Narius says:

    Why does a divorce cost so much?

    Because it’s worth it!

  9. Jeremy P. says:

    Getting married cost me $25 at the courthouse.

    Getting divorced cost me over $60,000.

    They were both worth what I paid for them.

  10. bogsidebunny says:

    Ban Marriage! Problem solved!

  11. Winston Smith says:

    That’s why theres no reason to ever get ‘legally’ married. I refuse to recognize any right of the government or organized religion to tell me if I am a couple with my wife.

    FUCK THE GOOBERMINT and FUCK ORGANIZED SUPERSTITION!

    • Jeremy P says:

      This is what I do now. Been five years and we are both happy not being legally married. What the state thinks doesn’t matter to us.

  12. Heathen says:

    “We don’t need no steenking lawyers !”

    A “Civil Dissolution of Marriage” cost me a total of $100.00 back in 1991. Wasn’t a whole lot “civil” about it ,but I bought a “Do it yourself Divorce kit” at a local SuperX drugstore and we sat down and decided who got what.

    Found a Notary and the necessary witnesses to our signing the paperwork at the bar where she worked. I filed the paperwork at the Clerk of Courts and was assigned a date to show up.

    I kept my Harley,the El Camino, and 90% of the household goods. And all my retirement,etc..

    She got her Virago, her VW Rabbit ,the big screen Sony TV, the microwave and VCR.

    The house was owned by my parents, I stayed there. She moved out into a tent with the SOB she was running with (and who gave her Hep C that she eventual died from…)

    Could she have gotten more if she had her own lawyer ? Ja,You betcha,but it wasn’t my job to look out after her interests any longer !

    I even got the filing fees refunded to me by the court.

  13. Tsgt Joe says:

    If my marriage had gone as easy as the divorce I’d still be married. She waited till the youngest turned 21 then left. Didnt touch my pension, only took 1/4 of my 401k(which I had offered) I paid her 1/2 the equity in the house and paid off one of her credit cards. We went halves on an attorney to get us through the court system.

    • bogsidebunny says:

      Saw a similar case with my neighbors Joe. They led a happy marriage till the kids bailed and then momma let the cat (pussy) out of the bag to the old man. She told me after she left her hubby she had always been attracted to women, but growing up years ago she felt the pressure to go the traditional marriage, house, family route. So after 35 years of house, hubby and cubbies she’s now sixty-ninen’ and tribblin’ with a 28 year old blonde babe daily or more from what she’s sayin’ and is finally a piece with herself.

  14. ignore amos says:

    Next time around, just rent, don’t buy.

  15. Odysseus says:

    1st was in my 20’s-it lasted 6 months. She couldn’t keep her legs together. Cost me $500, and 6 months of annoyance.

    2nd was in my 40’s-it lasted 15 years. She couldn’t keep her mind together. Cost me $300,000, and a year of my sanity.

    The new girlfriend has been notified that rings aren’t in our future. Being divorced herself, she seems to understand.

  16. Trish says:

    My divorice back in 77 cost me $50. I did it myself. We split it this way. Whatever he brought in he took and same with me. (Except I got the bookcase, I got the bookcase :) ) Only thing we argued over. I thought I needed it because I have been a reader all my life and he wasn’t. Funny thing is every time I look at the bookcase I think of him. He wasn’t a bad sort, just got mixed up with drugs and drink. Did have a temper though and that is why I left him. He hit me once and once was all it took.

    • Wirecutter says:

      I offered my ex everything except for my half of the house, my tools, guns, fishing equipment and truck but she wanted everything. She expected me to continue to support her completely after the divorce and I said no way. We both hired lawyers and by the time mine got through, she got much less than she would’ve had she just took what I offered.

      • Trish says:

        Some women…. There is no excuse for them to be bitches. The mentality of what is mine is mine and what is yours is mine. Still to this day I cannot understand how some women can be like that.

        • Wirecutter says:

          I couldn’t understand her reasoning either, other than she wanted to make me suffer.
          It hurt her in the long run. Now she’s married to a wife-beater, living in some dumpy subsidized apartment in Arkansas. Can’t afford a car and has to pre-pay for her phone minutes.

  17. Trish says:

    Forgot to add I never got married again. Too much hassle.

  18. pigpen51 says:

    I just found an interest calculator. I ran my estimated amount paid to my ex wife for child support, based upon $150 per week, at 6% interest. I paid for 17 and a half years. If I had been able to put that into my 401(k), it estimated that I would have accumulated almost $190,000, when I was done paying. Not to mention that it would have been over a quarter million dollars in only 3 more years after that.
    I knew I should have taken the advice of a friend, and shot the bitch. I would have been out of jail in time to still put money away for retirement.
    And to think that I used to worship the ground she slithered on.

    • Exile1981 says:

      My 1st wife was walking down the aisle towards me when the best man told me they had a get away car waiting with a driver outside the church side door. He told me to do the right thing and run away while I could. 4 years of misery wondering who she was screwing that week – should have left sooner but I wanted marriage to be forever. She wanted it all but in theend i let her have the house with very little equity and i got the savings…. in exchange for me not making her sex emails to her ‘boyfriends’ public. Thankfully no kids, though she got pregnant weeks after we seperated. Of course the previous 6 months of celebacy on my part shot down her attempts at support.

      I got off cheap 3k in legal fees.

      Been married to #2 for 17 years and counting, 4 great kids and this one is sane, never regret this marriage. Funny thing is the same ones who staged the get away car the first time were eager for me to tie the knot with this one.

      • pigpen51 says:

        We used the same lawyer, as well. I tried to be decent, don’t you know. I let her have pretty much everything. She let me claim my 3 kids on my income tax returns. Until she remarried, then she screwed me over. I went to a different lawyer, the first one was a woman.
        The second lawyer looked over my paperwork from the divorce, and said, and I quote. ” Jesus Christ, you sure got fucked. I can’t do anything about it.”
        My ex told me, ” I don’t love you, I think I hate you, and I want a divorce.” But just a little while later, she told me if you want to, we can try to work it out. I guess to try and make her Christian views feel better. Uh, no thanks, why bother. I don’t have the quarter million dollars in retirement, but I have a woman who I am crazy about, so I ended up with the better deal.

  19. Skip says:

    Like amos said…if it flys, fucks or floats…rent it.

  20. 9Booger says:

    I was one of the lucky few, my divorce did not cost me anything other than the lawyer. She signed off on not taking any of my retirement, and I did not have to buy her out of the house. We didn’t hate each other, it just wasn’t meant to be

  21. Cavguy says:

    Entering into number two! Thought this one was a keeper, getting a new tattoo on my forehead “stupid “. I’m her fourth husband, see?

    Exit plan in the works. New Truck and toy hauler then I’m gone.

    Will swing by to sit with Mr. Lane at some point.

    Cavguy

  22. turnkey says:

    Been married twice. First one died. The second one wouldn’t. Ain’t gonna be a third. My kids can have what’s mine when I go.

  23. Jeremy says:

    My first was a money grubbing freak. She had money hidden in several accounts. Worst is, she opened them in my name using a power of attorney I’d given when I was in the military, so I got the 1099INT on them. calculated she had about $60,000 hidden away.
    Second wife was a gambling addict. She blew over $100k in three years that I could find bank records of hers for.

  24. Crustyrusty says:

    I’m glad I retired from the AF before we hit 10 years together. Bad enough the bitch sat on her fat ass and lived off my child support for 10 years before I finally got custody of the last one, then she can file on my SS when she turns 62. At least I won’t lose anything from my own benefits, and she’s likely to die from 10 different forms of clap before she’s 50. Thank God for small favors.

  25. CC says:

    32 years together this month for us.

    I’m firmly convinced that 3rd time is a charm!

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