Oughta work

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19 Responses to Oughta work

  1. Elmo says:

    Mr. Mountain Man with the knife has never seen the GIF of this bear charging. If he’d been standing where the camera was set up he’d have been dead before he could have said “Oh, Shit!”

  2. Atlas says:

    Sammy? That you?

  3. Mac says:

    Sammy teaches everyone to fight bears

  4. Kaptain Kaos says:

    Oh I can do one better than old David Bowie there. I will just use my shoe lace and choke that bear while I ride around on his back singing Rocky Mountain High. But seriously, a knife? I’d feel under gunned with a .458. That bear was pissed off.

  5. Elmo says:

    Found it.

    Nine seconds.

  6. Tim in AK says:

    People that write shit like that have no clue how powerful bears are, or how incredibly fast they can move.
    I once had the good luck to witness two big boars in a fight at a distance of about 75 feet, and even for someone who’s been around bears my entire life, it was awe inspiring.
    Holy shit those fuckers are quick. They were a blur as they tore each other up.

  7. arc says:

    50BMG, if it some how survives that and closes the gap… 454 Casull… followed by machete.

  8. MW@Cairns says:

    All very interesting ideas. I must give them a go. I’ll report back later.

  9. rayvet says:

    I once took care of a cub (all 12 freaking pounds of it) that had been hit by a car. As it was coming out of it’s sedation, he got frisky and swiped at me. I was this close to needing sutures the entire length of my forearm. This from a 12 pound few week old cub. Now imagine a several hundred, over a thousand pound adult. You be dead. Or just about. Just ask DiCaprio.

  10. MT says:

    I’m guessing Mr. Mountain Man’s never heard of Hugh Glass, read The Revenant, or seen the movie. That’d put the fear of God into him. Otherwise, he’s just another candidate for the Darwin Award. Having seen many black and brown bears in the wild, I can personally attest to the fact they are nothing to be trifled with.

  11. Darrell says:

    A bowhunting guide in Colorado named Ed Wiseman was attacked by an old sow grizzly back in 1979. He stabbed the bear to death Tarzan style with an arrow. Grizz had been thought to be extinct in Colorado since the mid ’50s.

  12. STW says:

    I usually see at least one grizzly every year in the nearby Absarokas. Almost yearly someone gets torn up pretty bad, at best, and dead is always an option. It’s fairly well accepted that if you don’t have bear spray already in your hand you may not have time to use it. A guide was killed just last month because he wasn’t ready and the guy he was with ran. I’ve camped and hiked near where it happened and it’s gorgeous but wild. Bear spray backed up by a gun backed up by being somewhere else is my preferred option.

    • MT says:

      We both live in the same general area.
      I agree, bear spray first. You just have to keep an eye on your wind direction

  13. Paulo says:

    Last week I heard some noise and got up to find a 300 lbs blackbear sleeping on my porch. It swam across the river, ate a snack of the last of our apples my wife left out on the porch in a bucket, and being soaking wet decided to take a few zzzzs. Being naked, I just stuck my head out the door and yelled at it (he was about 5′ away). He looked around at me and decided to go back to sleep, that’s how angry he was. :-) He was still soaking wet and just needed to relax, I guess. I was looking for my .410 to shoot in the air but just yelled one more time to move him along. With this, he struggled to his feet and took off. Back to bed for me (laughing) until he woke me again 30 minutes later. (They make a lot of noise when they don’t give a shit) There was one apple left he forgot to take. When I yelled at him again he took off with it in his mouth. For some reason I never considered taking him on with a knife. I saw him yesterday across the river, just moseying along looking for dead salmon. I really like bears and would never shoot one unless it was charging and there was no other option. usually, there are options to avoid them. And yes, we have grizzlies move through but they don’t stay around and are seldom seen. The Govt puts out a blurb every fall about being Bear Aware. It works.

  14. Mike_C says:

    Let’s see, 400-1000 lb animal that can run at 30+ mph, with 5-inch claws, a thick coat with 8 to 10-cm guard hairs, and (depending on season) a thick layer of subcutaneous fat. Which is the more realistic plan?

    barrel roll, grab coat, stab repeatedly (through the hair, skin and SQ fat) with my Bowie knife;
    unzip trousers and bludgeon bear to death with my freakishly large penis;
    use my superior fighting skills and go all Sonny Chiba on the bear’s ass;
    get mauled to death despite “superior fighting skills”
    Sonny Chiba:

    Superior fighting skills:

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