Okay, check this shit out. I’ve had a FB account for about 8 years now. I started it to look up old friends that I’ve lost touch with and that’s been pretty successful, but I got into the posting thing too. It’s mostly pictures that are safe for work that you’ll find here, political views and memes, and news links – basically a Knuckledraggin Lite.
It ‘s been an on again off again thing, though. Most of the off again part was my doing – I’d get tired of it every so often so I’d deactivate my account for months and months at a time, which is basically removing your page and posts, but if you change your mind you can just sign back in and your page looks the same as it did when you left it. That was pretty effective for me because I never can remember my password.
A couple of the times I deactivated it was because I got suspended for some petty bullshit reason and they pissed me off. Like last time for example. I deactivated it in March of this year after getting suspended for posting a Moldylocks meme and finally got around to signing back in about a month ago. I think it was the Moldylocks meme, but that might’ve been the suspension before last.
I keep hearing about how my FB friends like Angel and Matt Bracken were getting suspended for silly little bullshit reasons and I started wondering if it was people turning them in or was the FB PO-lice? I’ve only been suspended 3-4 times, but Matt Bracken spends a month on suspension, comes back for 3 days, gets suspended for another month…
Now my page is set to where only my friends can see what I post. It’s not public, I have to accept your friend request or you accept mine before you can see my page.
I started getting tired of FB again after about two weeks this time around, but instead of just deactivating the account again, I figured I’d do it right and grab a suspension first. I wanna be like one of the Big Dawgs.
I could’ve just done it and got it over with by posting nudes but I figured to run a little experiment. I wanted to see how far I could push it before I got a time-out. The first thing I did was unfriend a couple friends that I figured would turn me in because I was wanting to see how tight-assed the FB PO-lice was. Are they seriously monitoring posts or are everybody’s suspensions the result of being snitched off?
I announced my intentions to all my FB friends and my first post was a close-up of a nutsack poking through the slats in a deck chair. They pulled the post and sent me a Bad Boy note, but they didn’t suspend me.
Bitches. Then I posted the picture above with a caption along these lines: “What do I have to do to get suspended, post a picture of tits in a wringer?”
Then I posted it.
They didn’t bat an eye at that one. It’s still up.
So then I figured this one here is bound to offend somebody’s sensibilities and get me suspended.
What the fuck. So I posted a few more.
THEY’RE ALL STILL UP!!!
Shit man, I’ve been hearing that anything that smacks of race or pokes fun at islam or antifa is a sure suspension. The Pompeii dude was a shot in the dark.
Okay motherfuckers, it’s time to get serious. I’m going to post the Moldylocks meme that got me suspended last time.
Not only did I not get suspended again for it, it’s still up. I’m not fucking kidding.
At this point, I’m beginning to think I’m untouchable. I decided to go for broke. Swallow whatever you’re drinking before you scroll down.
IT’S STILL FUCKING UP!!!
Okay, maybe I need to get racist here. I informed my FB friends I still wasn’t having any luck getting suspended and posted this:
No joy there either. It’s still up.
Maybe I need to pick on trannys. Matt Bracken got suspended for even using the word, so I used the word tranny in the text of the post and posted a meme. It got pulled, but all I got was a bad boy warning.
A few days before the election I posted this, as did my girl cousin.
She got 24 hours off, I got another Bad Boy note. Beat by a fucking girl, man. Just like in grade school. Okay, junior high and high school too. Fuck you.
Then Jenn has to really show off – the very minute she was allowed to post again, she posted the same fucking thing again and got a 3 day suspension.
Okay, I ain’t proud. I took a play from her playbook and reposted it. I got a Bad Boy note within 15 seconds. I reposted it. Another Bad Boy Note. I reposted it again. Another Bad Boy note. I posted that motherfucker 3 times in 60 seconds, got 3 Bad Boy notes and lost a minute of my life. Fuck it, they won.
Back to race and freaks.
They’re all still up.
Now they did yank a few more of my posts, but all they did was give me another BB note. Here’s a few of them:
And I still didn’t get a suspension…..
Wednesday morning I posted this:
A little bit later I posted another islam meme and what do you know, I finally got suspended for 3 days!!!
For what? A meme showing 2 ayrabs hauling another one that’s had the shit kicked out of him with the caption “What happens when you fuck another man’s goat”. I’d post it for you here but I can’t find it anywhere in any of my picture folders.
Can you believe that shit? Of all the shit I had posted, they got me for that.
From Angel’s page:
And this morning Angel sent me an email saying she just caught another 3 day suspension for commenting on her post saying I was suspended. She’s laughing about it saying it took me a couple weeks and a shitload of pictures to catch mine and her suspension came from a single sentence. So what did she say? “He posted about Muslim goat-humping.”
Three days ago I was untouchable and this morning I’m fucking toxic.
It was fun trolling the motherfuckers. I think I’ll sit this suspension out and keep trying for 30 days off, at which point I’ll probably delete my account permanently and start posting more over at https://freezoxee.com where I already have an account set up under Wirecutter.