Grandkids

Lisa was talking to the grandson on the phone the other day when he informed Lisa that his mommy was sick. Both of them were on speakerphone.
“What’s wrong with her, honey?”
Lisa hears his dad saying something in the background and then Jay comes back on and proudly announces “Mommy has syphilis.” Laughter in the background.
With that kid, I know, I just know in my heart, that he’s going back to school on Wednesday and telling his class Mommy has syphilis.

TJ, the grandkid’s daddy, saw a picture I had posted of a stuffed coyote mounted in full snarl.
He says, “Man, I need one of those to keep them damned kids in the bedroom at night.”
I came back with “Do like I did and buy ’em a shock collar. Works wonders – it’s the best 75 bucks I’ve ever spent.”
“Well, that explains that nervous tic they’ve developed” he says.
I started laughing. “Not to mention all that whimpering every time you pick up the TV remote.”

Lisa was on the phone this morning to the 13 year old granddaughter.
“Guess what, Mimi? I want to learn sign language!”
“That’s nice, Jessie. How come?”
“So blind people can hear what I’m saying!”
I swear, she is not blonde.

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2 Responses to Grandkids

  1. Don’t try the shock collar at church. The last time I did there were six kids writhing in the aisle.

    Had to hire a new preacher. They figured the old one was conjuring up Satan.

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