Fucking Nigerians are stepping up their game

I got this notice in my emails the other day and had to laugh – they’re going to expose me? HA!!! Good luck with that – the only things on my computer are shit for this blog and some family pictures. Somehow I don’t think pictures of Jack, CharlieGodammit, Legal Lucy and the grandkids are worth 800 bucks.
At least they were polite and said ‘Sincerely’ after threatening me.
The text of the email is below the screenshot.

Hi,

You have been hacked and uploaded all your photos and files.
If you are not familiar with this, I will explain it.
you have downloaded an application on your device that enabled me to access all of your files stored on it.
That means I can see everything on the screen and run the camera and microphone, but you’re not aware of that.
And also got access to all your contacts.
With a click of a button, I can send your data from Hardcore photos, exciting videos,sensitive messages to all your email contacts and social networks.
I know this will destroy your future
To prevent this, transfer the amount of 800 USD to my bitcoin address (if you do not know how, google “Buy Bitcoin”).
Bitcoin Address: 16oPfjYTKtNroKRnjf1xLSRtBrLvHqF7MC
As soon as the payment is received, I will remove your downloaded files and you will not hear me again.
I give you 48 hours to pay.
Do not worry, I have a notification that reads this letter, and the timer works when you read this letter.
Submitting complaints to somewhere is not meaningful because this email cannot be traced as my bitcoin address.
I make no mistakes.
If you find that you sent a report or shared this message with someone else, your stuff will be distributed immediately.
sincerely!

That’s almost good as the one I got a couple of years ago:

Serial Killer To:
k59lane@yahoo.com

May 22, 2017 at 12:29 PM

Attention, I am very sorry for you, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don’t comply. As you can see we are the members of the Deadly Networks in the world, which is responsible for the bombing of twin [ISO-8859-1?]tower’s in America on Sept. 11th and the bombing of London transport services on July 7th (AL-QAEDA NETWORKS WORLDWIDE), I don’t have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have to do it as I have already
been paid for that.

Someone who you called your family wants you dead by all means, and this person have spent a lot of money in this venture, This person came to us and told us that he wanted you dead, he had also stated that you have always make the highest profit whenever and he provided us with your name, picture and other necessary information’s we needed about you.

So I sent my boys to track you down this including bugging of your phones with satellite tracking devices and they have carried out the necessary investigation we needed for the operation on you, and if you doubt this information am going to give you all the necessary information about you back to you in your next reply so that you can believe me, and my boys are really on you but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is important to you and the one of your family. I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn’t tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing you this mail my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? Since all program has be made and draw to kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your Life, $58,000 is all you need to spend in this process you will first of all Pay $38,000 and then I will send a tape to you which I recorded in every discussion I had with the person who wanted you dead and as soon as you get the Tape,
You will pay the remaining balance of $20,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW ,REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT YOUR TELLING THE SECURITY ABOUT IT BECAUSE A GOOD LOOK IS OUT YOU AT THE MOMENT. DO NOT COME ON UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF ALL DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY

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18 Responses to Fucking Nigerians are stepping up their game

  1. Gary says:

    I got that very same one a couple of weeks ago at and old email address I no longer use. I just ignored it of course.

    • Seneca III says:

      Likewise. Been getting them off and on for the last couple of months. It looks as if these scum bags have been selling our e-mail adresses on to other scum bags when they don’t get a bite.

    • matt_ says:

      I got the new and improved version. They added my email address to the Reply-to field to prove that I have been hacked and the message was sent from my email account. Ooooooooo….

      • crazyeighter says:

        My best one was an eviction notice (from my landlord) for a house I’ve owned since 1986.

        (I collect these e-mails and some are funny as shit.)

  2. Skipperdaddy says:

    You got an email from Jeff Dunham’s terrorist puppet? “ I Keel You !”

  3. WestcoastDeplorable says:

    Hey Wirecutter, don’t sweat it…I got approximately the same email as your first example and wouldn’t have even noticed it, but I happened to look in my spam folder. I usually don’t even bother to read what’s in there. Fuck these idiots. How stupid do these people think we are? I guess pretty stupid!

  4. Jason says:

    You’ve had folders full of hardcore pictures, exciting videos, and sensitive messages for years and have not shared? No wonder someone put a hit on you a couple of years ago. Share that shit.

    I’m sorry about the contract against you. I didn’t really mean it. Let’s just say it involved a couple cases of tequila and whiskey plus 5 Mexican midgets, a couple of trannies (both types), 2 donkeys, 4 sheep, and a wood chipper. Well, by the end of the night we had a mess that no amount of bleach could clean up and someone called that hit squad. Sorry.

  5. SAM says:

    SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD!
    If they know me that well, they all want me dead, or the do not know me at all.

  6. czechsix says:

    Well, after they get bored with building their “tanks” “airplanes” “helicopters” and other cargo cult stuff, they go on to this sort of crap, I guess.

  7. arc says:

    Them dirty Nigerians always trying to extort people.

    I wouldn’t worry about the deep web. I can’t speak for I2P or Usenet, but the TOR network lost confidence of its bad users years ago; they went dark and are waiting for a new platform. The TOR network its self is reasonably secure, its the malicious phone-home files (a NIT) and honeypots that chased out the dregs. Anything still there is likely invite only and will inevitably be raided depending on priority.

    Telegram went the same route, it got a lot of attention, then vanished from the headlines. That is a strong indicator that its been compromised.

  8. STW says:

    We laugh but somebody must make it worthwhile. I’ve a client that paid $2000 to the phony “we’re coming to arrest you” call from the IRS. If you’re on the up-and-up you laugh, maybe call your tax guy. He hasn’t filed his taxes in three years or so and a guilty conscience cost him a bunch of money. The IRS still wants him to file.

  9. Bad_Brad says:

    This is why you have dogs. Get some game cams up. I’m sure it’s Bull Shit. Eyes twitch.

  10. RDB says:

    I think y’all are looking in the wrong place. I wonder if you should be looking back to the Northwest in the American Redoubt for someone who wants Kenny dead but isn’t man enough to keel him by himself……..

    • Wirecutter says:

      Sammy? Do you realize that today’s the 3 year anniversary of that judge punking him out when he tried to get that restraining order against me?

  11. Mike-SMO says:

    1) Check with Lucy, Charlie and the grandkids to see if there is anything that they don’t want made public.

    2) Back it up. Standalone hard drices are huge and pretty cheapas are writeable CD/DVDs. If you crash a head on your work machine, or someone does it for you, the backup copies will be available.

    It is all probably mostly junk, but you know, there was that one picture of Aunt Wilma……..

    One day, I pressed “On” and got a blue flash out of the top of the machine. [Diode or Cap went critical]. All of the components in the box got fried. Copies of all those old pictures were safe in the little black box on the other side of the desk. The fused power strip may have saved the house, although Hanes got another sale.

    Several years ago, I helped a neighbor salvage some photos from her flooded home. Most of the photos were pulp. Crucial photos, like the one of her first son in grammar school. Worthless but priceless.

    Back it up. Back it up. Back it up. etc.

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