Your Thursday Morning Florida Report

A Florida man arrested in the theft of stolen pool floats told cops he used the inflatables for sex instead of raping women, court papers show.

Christopher Monnin, 35, was charged Thursday with breaking into the backyards of homes with pools in Palm Bay and stealing only flotation devices, according to the arrest affidavit.

“Defendant stated that he sexually gratifies himself with the pool floats instead of raping women,” the affidavit said.

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4 Responses to Your Thursday Morning Florida Report

  1. anonymous says:

    “Yer honor, I use pool noodles to satisfy my noodle – what’s wrong with that ?”

    Florida Man – what would we do without you ?

  2. Don in Oregon says:

    Pretty sure those aren’t the only two choices.

  3. WoodBurner says:

    Thank god he didn’t return ’em.

  4. Sanders says:

    No. Just no. Kill it. Kill it with fire.

Play nice.