Last Wednesday and Thursday night, the top twenty Democratic presidential candidates—yes, there are actually more than twenty—locked horns in Miami to bitch about corporations, racial injustice, brown children who are denied Facebook access in concentration camps, how guns are uncool, and all the other shit no one really cares about. Every last one of them was rich and powerful—at least compared to me—yet none of them could stop screaming about the “rich and powerful.”
After thinking that my vote for Trump would change something—anything—I’m back to where I was before 2016—despondent that voting changes anything at all. I am unfamiliar with nearly all of these clowns, and I doubt that I’d be persuaded even if they explained their policies.
My “analysis” of their performances is based not on their policies, because I doubt that even they understand their policies, if they in fact have them. Instead,I will focus on what actually decides elections—physiognomy and gut reactions.
Here are the 20 candidates, presented in alphabetical order.