You’re in Good Hands With Elon

Imagine if your insurance company knew about it immediately every time you drove faster than any speed limit, anywhere. That you failed to come to a complete dead stop at every stop sign before proceeding – regardless of the need to come to a complete dead stop.

Every instance of seatbelt scofflawism.

That you drove eight hours straight to visit friends in another state; that last Thursday, you “accelerated aggressively” while trying to merge with traffic. That you turned off the traction control the other day – and squealed the tires.

And here comes the bill, custom-tailored just for you.

This is what Elon Musk has in mind next. The King of Mandated Business is getting into the insurance business – a logical thing since car insurance is the original mandated business that set the precedent for the rest of them. It’s an even better business than the electric car business because everyone has to buy car insurance, if they own a car – even if it’s not an electric car.

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20 Responses to You’re in Good Hands With Elon

  1. Padawan says:

    The writer of this article needs to check their facts before sending it to print. Not everybody has to buy insurance. Here in NH having insurance on your vehicle is optional.

    • bogsidebunny says:

      Comprehensive is “optional” if you fully own the vehicle in my state, but Liability is mandated. I’m assuming “you’re “insurance on your vehicle is optional” means just comprehensive.

      • Bacon says:

        You’re both wrong. It’s true that liability insurance is technically optional in NH, but although NH is the only state without a compulsory liability law, their financial responsibility laws are so strict that their uninsured driver rate is well below the national average. The only people who get away with not having insurance in NH are those who are wealthy enough to self-insure, and those who are willing to risk losing their license and registration and everything they own if they have an accident. Once you have an accident or a moving violation, both insurance and an SR-22 then become required.

  2. Diesel Dave says:

    Elon has to keep up the distractions about the state of his coal-fired car business, so why not talk about creating a car insurance company? E-Musk is the PT Barnum of our generation. He should be talking about creating a corporate liability insurance company that can cover the death and injury costs his self-exploding, sleep-enabled driving cars have inflicted upon the rest of us.

  3. dotacion says:

    He’s in the club apparently.

  4. Paul B says:

    Most states it is required to put a car on the road. get tagged in the middle of the usa and not having the card will cost you upwards of 600 dollars.

    But I would not give elon any money willingly. he already has enough of my tax dollars to compound the error and willingly by one of his trash pits.

  5. FaCubeItches says:

    “because everyone has to buy car insurance, if they own a car”

    Orale, vato! Whachoo mean everyone?
    – Illegal immigrant drivers

    • Butch says:

      In many South Texas cities with a high percentage of Mexican-Mexicans and Mexican_Americans you can find auto insurance stores that advertise on the outside of their store “Car Insurance – By the Day, By the Week, By the Month”.

      And what’s this drive 8 hours without a break? Everytime i would drive home to Texas from Kali, I would first take I-10 to Hwy 85, take a right and go to Gila Bend. Phoenix was all tore up in those days and I hated Phoenix. I would overnite in my truck in a parking lot in Gila Bend. Early the next morning I would get some breakfast, take a good dump and be on my way with a full tank of gas and a case of beer on ice. Those days speed limit was still 55, so you kinda had to listen to the CB to know when you could run at 60 or 70. I would pop 100 milligram B vitamins, drink beer and gas up at my usual stops and I would hit the Ranch House Cafe in Fort Stockton for an early supper of Chicken Fried Steak. They had the best one on I-10
      Try to take another dump, restock the beer box and ice, gas up and take off. At San Antonio I would break off I-10 and head for Corpus Christi on 281. They were building I-37 then and it wasn’t complete. Anyway I would pull into Corpus around 11 PM or so. My best time from Gila Bend to Corpus was 22 hours total time with gas and piss stops.
      So what’s the deal about driving more than 8 hours?

      Hell, now days, I can’t drink like that, but when its time to go fetch or deliver grandson to OK Border, it is a 6 hour drive to and 6 hour back through some of the most horrendous traffic on the face of this earth. I-35 from San Antonio to north of Dallas. Most of the way we are driving bumper to bumper at 80 MPH. Blast up there drop the kid and blast back. Stops for food, gas and piss. Still blows a whole 12 hour day. So tell me about 8 hour only driving. And I am 70 year old!
      Fuckin snowflakes!

      • Bacon says:

        I can relate. In younger decades, I drove coast to coast in 2 1/2 days; now it takes 3 1/2 to 4 days. Despite the years, I didn’t change so much, rather it was the roads, the cops, the traffic and the other dingbats who changed.

  6. SgtBob says:

    A woman representing our car insurance company pitched a terrific idea to my wife: An app that tracks her driving and stores data which would be used in rates. Good drivers will get lower rates. My wife said, “I sometimes speed**. Would that be collected and used to raise my rates?” To her credit, the insurance woman said, “Yes.” My wife declined.

    **”I sometimes speed.” HaHaHa. Interstate 70 is 80-85.

  7. joe tentpeg says:

    “…even if it’s not an electric car.”

    No such critter.

    It’s a nuke, coal, or natural gas powered car…

    …unless’n ya got a solar array on your house, and backyard, and front yard.

  8. trib says:

    Allstate keeps asking me to download a phone app that will show them how i drive. Speed, full stops, etc, They will track me. And if I drive safe they will give me a award check every 6 months. Or they will in my case cancel my insurance before the 1st week ends. Screw them.

    • FaCubeItches says:

      You can bet that those monitoring apps will be mandatory before too long. Enjoy the respite while we’ve got it.

  9. C.R. says:

    I worked with a woman who made the mistake of having one of those monitors in her car. She figured that since she was a good driver , didnt speed , or drive crazy the rates would drop , BUT her kids used the car once in a while and were not as careful and the rates went up quite a bit ! OOPS !

    • Lineman says:

      Serves her right…It’s ironic that when I use to watch movies that had corporations running everything and the people were just willing slaves that I thought it could never happen people just couldn’t be that stupid and have no will to fight…Now I believe that we are heading straight towards that…Sad That…

Play nice.