I may have missed my calling somewhere

While the roles were often the same as standard entry-level software engineers or designers, some saw allowing new team members to call themselves “ninjas” or “rockstars” as an important perk.

And the trend doesn’t appear to slowing down, according to a recent Indeed survey. As firms compete to attract Silicon Valley-vetted talent, their tech job titles are getting increasingly outlandish.

Here are the 25 most absurd.
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-gamachinist

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14 Responses to I may have missed my calling somewhere

  1. Oswald Bastable says:

    ‘Software Ninja’- hides in the crapper and stabs you up the ass.

    (Sounds about right for most corporates)

  2. Cederq says:

    I wanna be an assholengineer…

  3. Annie says:

    This is one of the many reasons that I no longer have a job writing software. I wanted to sit in the corner by myself and design and write software that did what the customer needed in the most simple and straightforward manner. No fanciful titles. No daily Agile scrum meetings talking about stories. No 10pm meetings with the teams in China and India. I was not a team player.

  4. FaCubeItches says:

    It’s like when DA’s call me a “mass murderer;” “genocidaire” just sounds so much more sophisticated.

  5. Curtis says:

    My favorite is Programmer-at-Arms.

  6. Chris. No, the other one. says:

    I’m a MBS,CS,DD: Master of Back Stabbin’, Cork Screwin’, and Double Dealin’. Does that count?

  7. Unclezip says:

    I retired as a Senior Software Engineer, but my card read “Genius In Residence”. Since I was at the top of that food chain, I could put *almost* anything I wanted on the cards.

  8. rob says:

    Jesus, they’re all 9-year-olds.

  9. Bill Chunko says:

    I have a Bachelor of Science in Biological Science, and a Bachelor of Science in Bio Chemistry. Therefore, title-wise I am a BS BS BS BC. Although my actual title is Lieutenant Colonel, but that’s another story.

  10. Phil B says:

    One company I worked for had a receptionist with a face like a melted Halloween rubber mask and a personality to match.

    Her job title was “Ambassador of First Impressions”. I kid you not.

    You wonder what colour the sky is on the planet they come from …

  11. Scarecrow says:

    Sounds fun… I do I.T. work. Its what I do. Its ALL I DO. I am the I.T.erminator.

  12. SgtBob says:

    What those companies need is a shitkicker.

  13. JayNola says:

    I’ve called myself a CAD Monkey for years. But that might be more of an expression of my “attitude problem”. At least that’s what the HR nazi said.

Play nice.