I’m back, and I thank each and every one of you

It’s been a rough weekend for sure. I didn’t get much of anything done, including the work I had planned to do on this blog to get it running smoothly again.
I’ll be doing some light posting through out the week, depending on what kind of mood I’m in. Somehow I haven’t had much of a sense of humor these past couple days.
Light posting today for sure, though – I’ve got a bunch of shit around here that didn’t get done and I need to catch up on, plus a trip to Portland a little later this morning.
Hopefully this coming weekend I can do the things I need to do to this blog to get it back up to full speed, but until then I need to do at least a few posts every day to keep you interested.

I’m overwhelmed by the support y’all gave me – there’s almost 600 comments on the post I did about Charlie dying, and yes, I read every one of them. What a fantastic tribute to a great dog. Thank you for that.

I took Charlie down to be cremated Saturday morning with Woody. I called him shortly after Charlie died to ask if he could come over Saturday morning to give me a hand loading and unloading Charlie, and he was there bright and early without complaint even though it turned out that I didn’t really need his physical help.
I’m picking up Charlie’s ashes late this afternoon.

There’s a huge void in the house. I keep finding myself reaching down to give Charlie an ear-scratching as I’m reading. That’s understandable – I’ve been doing it for 10 years and I’m not going to break that habit overnight. The first few times brought tears to my eyes, but now it kinda warms my heart when I catch myself doing it.
Legal Lucy is a little depressed, but she’s getting tons of extra love and attention. She knows Charlie’s gone but I don’t think she realizes why. A real heartbreaker was Friday night – I had dragged Charlie’s body out onto the porch and she had to go outside to pee before I had a chance to wrap him up in a sheet to cover him. She saw him laying there and went over to him and started nudging him trying to get him back into the house.
Even that asshole dog Jack is more subdued than normal, but I honestly think it’s because without Charlie here, Jack doesn’t have to compete for attention but he’s too fucking stupid to realize why.

Anyways, once again I thank you for your patience. Ill get my shit together soon enough and things will be back to normal around here.

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65 Responses to I’m back, and I thank each and every one of you

  1. waitingForTheStorm says:

    Take your time. It is hard to understand why certain animals touch our hearts more than others. But, he was obviously loved and his photo looked like a happy dog. Good fortune, sir.

  2. Andy says:

    Kenny, I think I can speak for everyone that reads your blog that the only thing that it important is you and your family. Given the circumstances, we are the least of your concerns. Nevertheless, it is good to see you back and we are all here for you and Miss Lisa.

  3. Robbie in Pittsburgh says:

    Kenny, take everything in your own time. I think that I speak for all of your fans & friends when I say that we’ll still be here with and for you.

    Again, my deepest condolences about Charlie. I keep thinking what it will be like without our Minnie and I have to shake it off.

    Robbie

  4. Bildo says:

    Man, take all the time you need. I drove the wife up to Virginia Friday so we could spend time with her friend who keeps five elderly dogs including a really massive pit bull that treated me like his personal seat cushion every time I sat down. We got back home that evening and I read about Charlie. Now I’ll have to go back to see those old boys and girls real soon.

  5. Bob says:

    Take care of your family first. Also, know that part of what makes it worth visiting here is the fact that you’re a regular guy with a real life, not a cardboard bullshit dispenser. Thanks for thinking of all of us in this dark moment. God bless and good days ahead…

  6. Sedition says:

    You do you, Kenny. Every man needs his grieving time and it differs from man to man. You know that all your online friends understand are behind you 100%. Take your time…all us assholes can wait.

  7. H says:

    Do what you gotta do, Kenny. We understand.

    When life gives you lemons, go find the sonofabitch who stole your peaches.

  8. Kurt says:

    Take care, sir, and your time. We’ll be here when you feel like it.

  9. Lilyrat says:

    My heart aches for you and your family. I’ve gone through this too many times.

  10. Scott Carmichael says:

    “what Sedition said”

  11. samoore says:

    I’ll just echo what everyone else has said.

    My first thought when I read your last paragraph was, “Take your fucking time, man. Do what you need to do.”

  12. NITZAKHON says:

    Take your time. Family first. Echoing what everyone else said. We’re with you for the long haul.

  13. Paul B says:

    Take the time you need. We will be here regardless :-) I still click Neanderpundit from time to time and he went into he woods a long time ago.

  14. The Rat Fink says:

    Thank you for all your hard efforts to share the good and the bad.
    It’s what makes this an honest blog!

  15. John Taylor says:

    Welcome back!! We missed you! Sincere condolences on your loss…..been there and it sucks.

  16. Tree Mike says:

    Well maybe not exactly normal, but yea, life goes on. It’s obvious from the comments that your fans are the kind of people that are like you when it comes to dogs. We
    live with ’em, love ’em and lose ’em. Pretty much sucks out loud, but it’s worth it. I came back several times to read the comments and kept running into this damn dust cloud… aaand its back. When we lost Maggie Mutt after 17 years, it didn’t help that we had 3 other much loved dogs. She’s only been gone a year, but we still talk about her all the time. Our hearts go out to you, Miss Lisa and the mutts. I’d say have a good day, but that’s not gonna happen for a while. God fortune to you and yours.

  17. Eric says:

    Dude, I’m sorry to hear about Charlie. Ya’ll take care of yourselves.

  18. John Deaux says:

    Whenever you’re ready we’ll be here waiting for you.
    God speed to you and the Ms

  19. wtfamisupposedtodoforausername says:

    Take all the time you need Kenny, we all will be here when you get back.

  20. Ed Ranger says:

    It is hard to realize the reliance we have on routine until our friends have left us. For the last year of her life, after her hips had gone, my pup needed help at 3am every morn to get outside, For a year after she had passed over, I still found myself rolling out of bed several times a week and like you reaching down to scratch Charley, it gave me comfort and happy memories. Pretty soon the sadness of your loss will be replaced by only big grins when you remember the hell he put you through.But it sure hurts until then.

  21. Bill Chunko says:

    God Bless.

  22. Antibubba says:

    Take your time. It’ll take time.

  23. Nemo says:

    Take your time Ken. You have understanding and sympathetic readers who are here through thick and thin.

  24. susan says:

    take your time Kenny, and don’t forget to pray….God’s the only one Who can do the real healing, and He will; just ask Him.
    And don’t forget to look around you and realize how greatly blessed you are….and so was Charlie.
    God bless and comfort you and Lisa….and Lucy and Jack.

  25. Kelly says:

    It’s a terrible loss that will take time to accept. Don’t worry about us; take care of yourselves.

  26. rolldog says:

    “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”

    ― Unknown Author

    Until you lose that first dog, you have no appreciation as to how hard it is when they die. Reggy has been gone 10 years and I still miss her. I know you have been through it before, but it doesn’t get any easier. Take care Kenny.

  27. Tsgt Joe says:

    Take all the time you need. Your friends will be waiting for when you are ready.

  28. Chuck says:

    Take care of yourself, you, Lisa, Lucy and Jack come first. There’s no schedule to grieving; stuff will hit you out of the blue and it takes time. We’ll be here.

  29. PoppaGary says:

    I saw you had to go to Portland and at first I thought WTH, were you were going to take your emotions out on the local pantifa, but then realized there was a Portland, TN which makes more sense.

  30. justbob says:

    Kenny,
    Having lost several of my “best friends” over the years, I can relate. Your pain is shared by all of us who have had the unconditional love and devotion of our furry companions. Please take care of you and yours and we will continue to keep you and Lisa in our thoughts and prayers.

  31. Chris K says:

    Really sorry to hear about Charlie, I will remember you in my prayers Kenny. I have read your blog for years and this is the first time I have posted a comment. It is difficult to lose a member of the family. Charlie was a huge part of everyone’s lives. He brought happiness to many people. There is plenty of craziness in this world and it can be overwhelming if we dwell on negatives and the absurdity of politics. Thanks for taking time and making Charlie a part of your readers’ lives over the years. And thank you for your service to our great country and sharing your life with us. Your are a great American!

  32. lb says:

    When I lost my Labrador I cried for 3 days, then off and on for another week. It was months before I could think of him and smile.
    That is a fine photo of Charlie. You should have it framed.

  33. D says:

    Take the time to get yourself back together and do what you need to do. The stories about Mr Charlie is what hooked me on ur blog in the first place,
    Rest in Peace CGD.

  34. Leslie says:

    Hi, I feel for you. I just lost a wonderful Great Dane that was with us for 8 years. That was in March, & it still feels recent at times. I’ve been visiting your site for years, but never comment. Couldn’t help myself this time. Take care

  35. Mike Clarke Madison NJ says:

    There will be a lotta “firsts.” The first time you walk through a door expecting him to be there, the first time you cook one of his favorite foods (bacon) and his paw is not on your knee, the first time you walk back from the bathroom at night and you walk around the spot he usually slept, the first time you push a chair back and stop to look behind you, the first time you you drive past the dog park etc.
    It’s gonna suck for awhile. Just went through it in July. My kids will be here at Thanksgiving, we will spread his ashes by a pond in front of his favorite bench that he insisted on sitting at every walk. It struck me that I was always thankful for my wife and kids, I guess I took Gavin for granted and never said how thankful and grateful I was for him. We all say this about our dogs, but Gavin was the most loved dog in the world.
    Goddamn it, who’s cutting the onions?

  36. MT says:

    We’ll be here when you’re ready.
    Thoughts and prayers…

  37. Annie says:

    I missed the original post while I was out of town, but damn Ken, I am so very, very sorry. He was the best boy!

  38. Wraith says:

    What everyone else said. You owe us nothing.

    But you may as well just start calling him AssholeJack, ’cause you know that’s how it’s gonna end up anyway. ;)

  39. Annie says:

    Kenny, my heart goes out to you and Miss Lisa. It was one year ago to the day today that I lost my Daisy after an unbelievable two day roller coaster ride of vet visits and unanswered questions. She was only two. Like you, we’ll never know why. I still miss her. There was such a big hole I had to get a puppy to at least attempt to fill it, most people will say that that is a bad coping strategy, but you have to do what you have to do. She is a good puppy, but she is not Daisy. When one or the other of us accidentally calls the puppy Daisy it tears me up inside. I think it is a good idea to let the other animals see the body. I know that some of them don’t understand, but some do and I think it helps them to know rather than wonder why their buddy never came back. If you can’t do that, then if you show them his collar and look them straight in the face and say “Jack is gone and he’s not coming back” some of them will understand that, too. Animals know more than we give them credit for and grieve in their own way.

  40. Steve the engineer says:

    my suggestion is go down to the local animal rescue place and bring one home to keep Legal Lucy company. my first Dog (turbo, the Wonder Dog – German Shepherd) I had at home with a cat. Turbo was not very happy in her later years, I think because she was alone in the house most of the day.

    Next dog I had was Roxy – Dumb as a box of rocks but super loveable golden retriever. also 2 other dogs in the house at the time. So from this experience I know dogs, being social animals, are most comfortable and happy when they are part of a pack that also includes other canines.

  41. Stevie says:

    What a fine group of people following this site. We are with you, Miss Lisa, Lucy and Jack. I have been thinking of my two beautiful dogs, greatly missed for many years now. As the dog folk here know, you never stop grieving, but eventually the memories get sweeter.

  42. Knucklehead says:

    When we lost Phoebe, a great ol’ girl, it took weeks, if not months, to begin forgetting the routine things like getting a head in my lap looking for its scratching, dashing to the door if I even looked at certain items that indicated I was headed outside, and being unable to unwrap something, particularly cheese, from cellophane. I

    For a long time I’d be surprised how accustomed I’d gotten to her actions. I fully expected the ol’ lunk to come hauling tail from her sleeping spot to me at the fridge – tail ’bout to knock over the kitchen table.

    In fact it was those episodes that began to indicate she might not be right anymore. She’d fly around a corner and then her hind legs would go out from under her like she’d slipped, but then she’d have a few moments of trouble getting them back under herself. Took her to a vet (she didn’t have one vet because I couldn’t bring her to any vet a second time – she’d go berserk as soon as she’d see the building) to get him to check her out for these funky, weak hips/hind legs and we had to lash her down for him to even give her a once over. A felt like an idiot – she was crazy strong and sure didn’t seem to have anything wrong. But it wasn’t long before she didn’t want to go for our walks anymore, then didn’t want to get up at all, then needed me to support her with a towel under her hind just to allow her to go take care of her business. It was heartbreaking. For those last few days she got nothing but her favorites – canned tuna one meal, rotisserie chicken the next.

    A friend recommended a vet he’d used who operated out of his van and just made house calls. Got him in and we sat for a while and described what was going on, her behavior, etc and he talked about possible issues and how to treat them, then he asked to see her. He took one look at her eyes and told us there was nothing to be done. She was bleeding internally, probably nothing that could be fixed but we’d have to open her to know for sure. I wasn’t doing that to her. And that was that.

    All but the little memories. But those don’t make me sad anymore. They make me smile. Now I get the granddog when the youngest is traveling for work – which is a few times a year for a few weeks at a time. He pisses me off and cracks me up every day I have him. A dumbass little Boston. When he goes back home I spend a few days looking for the nutty little things he does.

    There’s good reason we keep ’em and plenty of reason it breaks our heart to lose them.

    Let the bye and bye happen. Don’t chase it away. Sometimes I think Phoebe drops in for little visit – I can swear I hear the lumbering lunk hauling tail for the fridge when Im fetching some cheese.

  43. vorkosigan says:

    Take all the time you need…this blog is certainly secondary to personal and family commitments–and Charlie was certainly family. So sorry for your loss, and thank you for all the effort(and recently,aggravation) you’ve put into Knuckledragging.

  44. Kegeshook says:

    We lost our senior cat(Charlie) 2 and a half months ago. He was 15. My youngest daughter considered him as her own,even after she left the nest. She had him cremated and forked out extra for an urn, necklace and a few other things. It was the first time that I never had to bury one of our pets in the back field. Our female cat treated the senior horribly. He would have loved to have been friends with her but was scared to death of her. He was twice her size. She’d attack him out of the blue for no reason. Anyway, now that he’s no longer around, she misses him terribly. And I mean bad.

    Thanks for sharing CharlieGodammit with us Kenny. I’ll tip one tonight in his honor.

  45. Frank says:

    I’ll second (or third or fourth or whatever the count is now) what has been said.
    The heart heals at its own speed, not by clock or calendar.
    I think all the comments were a tribute to both Charlie and you – you’re part of this online family.

  46. Lofty says:

    Take your time Ken, we ain’t going anywhere.

  47. MMinLamesa says:

    I lost many a best friend and am about to lose the best one ever in my 68 years and he’s having a real bad end, real bad. Do I take what little he has when he’s not any thing close to the Awesome Dog he once was? Can’t do that yet.

    CGD sparred you that. My best female died of bloat, she went from her usual great self to dead in 30 minutes. And even that was a fucking nightmare.

    The pic you posted was gorgeous WC, what a beautiful dog. Take care of you and yours dude.

  48. B says:

    Dude, I lost my last dog 10 (yes, ten) years ago. And I still, occasionally, look for her when I come home, expecting her to greet me as I came in the door. Or try, as you do, to pet her.

    Less and less, perhaps, as time goes on. But she’s still in my heart, as Charlie will forever be in yours.

    As long as we remember ’em, they ain’t gone forever.

    It doesn’t get better, but the scab heals over.

    Give yerself time.

  49. Ron says:

    Sorry for the loss of a loyal friend Kenny. I’m a years long time lurker and an extremely rare commenter. When I lost my first Border Collie it killed me. I still have pictures of him that look at from time to time and it brings a warm comfort you described.

  50. Byker bob says:

    My border collie that was 14 y/o died quickly like your Charlie. Only we made it to the animal er hospital . They told,us his belly was filling up with blood. And not much they could do for our Ben. So we had to put him to sleep. Take your time getting back to normal. All of us understand what you have experienced and you need time to grieve.

  51. Todd fransen says:

    If find one good woman one good friend a dog puts them all toshame

  52. Steve says:

    Hey Bro,

    I too would like to send you my condolences. I do apologize for the lateness, but I was busy with work the last six days, or so and this is the first time I’ve checked out the blog in as many days. I loved your stories about him and I know you and the fam will miss him terribly. folks who’ve never had a dog will never understand the loss. You’ll never find love like that again. He’ll be giving the all mighty some great laughs now and he”ll be waiting for you and the fam. You will see him again. God bless and take care.

  53. Old Peculier says:

    I agree with all of the above. take your time and look after yourself and your family first. We’ll be here

  54. chillhill says:

    God Bless, God’s grace to you and yours Mr. Kenny.

  55. Brian A Heavner says:

    Charlie got to be the very best thing that he could be…………..he go to be your dog. That ain’t not too bad. Whenever you take a pet into your home, you know that you are signing up for that terrible heartbreak and heartache. You’re a good man, and I know that you won’t deny another dog the opportunity to be your best friend sometime in the future.

  56. czechsix says:

    CGD was a pill, that’s for sure. Like so many of them are, but every one has a unique personality…and I’ll bet that asshole Jack will grow on you too. Charlie’s in a better place now, but that doesn’t make things a heckuva lot better down here, does it? Time will heal, but in the meantime, this shit sucks. That’s the helluva thing…dogs don’t live that long, but we still accept that pain to have unconditional love, loyalty and faith in a non-human family member. Every time I lose one of them, I swear that I won’t go through it again, yet here I am.

    Anyway, CharlieGoddammit is probably pissing on St. Peter’s Gate right now while Pete’s not looking.

  57. Eric says:

    Sitting here with tears in my eyes all over again. Through all your tales about him, Charlie was like a member of my family too, and it hurts knowing he’s not there with you, but you know damn well he’s up there watching over you and yours

  58. MadMarlin says:

    And I’m crying again.

  59. Deb says:

    One day at at time. We’ll be here.

  60. Hillbilly says:

    Just back online after several days, Sorry about Charlie. All dogs go to heaven and they get their balls back too. Twice I’ve had to do the job myself, That was hard for me. All I can say is there a circle of life, especially for dogs. When Chopper the bird dog our “Alpha male” passed, I thought man I don’t think I could do this again. It’s been almost four years, now we have Titus Pullo a Rotty our son gave us @ eight weeks old. Just had his 2nd birthday. He is two and I’m 62, who knows who will out live who. Titus is my best friend and I go nowhere without him.

  61. Fred says:

    Take your own time on this one, Kenny. You never get over it, all you can do get past it.

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