It’s cool, it was an assault umbrella

A California police officer responding to reports of a man pointing a rifle at people and vehicles Saturday opened fire with an AR-15 when the man brandished what appeared to be a firearm at him, police reported on Facebook.

It turned out to be a black umbrella, Santa Rosa police wrote.


The fucking cop cranked off 3 rounds with an AR and missed all 3 shots. Good shootin’ there, Tex.

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34 Responses to It’s cool, it was an assault umbrella

  1. Karl says:

    Hard to shoot an AR15 accurately when you’re running away from your target.

  2. Wolffman says:

    cops shoot at black umbrellas, you got a problem wiff dat? Missing them, another issue…

    • Joe Blow says:

      Yeah, what he said… lets unpack this one. First, he mistook an umbrella for a rifle? Then he discharged a RIFLE 3 times, zero percent hit rate?
      Lose your badge snd gun until you get sn eye exam and re-qualify with the firearms instructor. You’re not s cop, you’re a power drunk redneck.

      • Guairdean says:

        The drunk rednecks I know wouldn’t have missed.

      • soapweed says:

        None one of my fellow redneck friends can stomach the law, city boy….

      • Mike-SMO says:

        Hard to get a zero since the political winds are always changing and blustery out on that coast.

      • Rayvet says:

        What you meant to say is you wished more rednecks were police officers there slick.

      • oldawg says:

        I be a 73 year old redneck. Come on over and give me ONE shot with any of my rifles from .54 Hawken to AR and plenty in between. Hell I’ll even let you pick the rifle. I’ll light a smoke while you start running there scooter, fair enough? signed Proud Texas Redneck.

  3. Sabre22 says:

    Typical for a police officer. Civilians have a higher hit percentage than regular street officers.

  4. judgeroybean says:

    Who should be more relieved, a nut job impersonating Biden, or the Policeman who didn’t kill an unarmed whack job?

  5. Craig says:

    Quite a few houses in the area where he missed 3 shots. I drove thru that area a few times a week.

    • Elmo says:

      I have a feeling that a safe backstop was the last thing Officer Friendly was thinking about when he was concerned about making it home safely at the end of his shift after defending himself from a guy with a black umbrella.

  6. Jc Collins says:

    I was (politely) escorted from a public park for using my cane to indicate a direction. They had gotten an anonymous complaint about some “big guy’ (thanks, I’m just 6’1”, and a bit over 200 pounds) making ‘violent gestures’ with a ‘suspicious thingie’.
    Someone had made a joke about a sword cane. Glad there was no mention of a concealed assault cane!
    Really, the cops were quite nice, one took my elbow going over a curb. In a helpful fashion, because I really do need the cane to walk sometimes, not a ‘Imma just gonna spin you around so I can cuff you’ kinda fashion, and believe me I do know the difference.

  7. Earth Pig says:

    Please don’t call that thug with a badge “Tex”. We Texans are much better shots than that.

  8. singlestack says:

    The guy was charged with brandishing a weapon. For pointing an umbrella.

  9. BrassG says:

    Probably been bouncing around in his trunk for six months and was never BZO’d to begin with. Can’t hit what you’re aiming at if the sights are for shit.

  10. Bill Chunko says:

    I find it amazing that a cop could miss three times with an AR-15 at a range that was close enough to run down and tackle a fleeing person.

    • WiscoDave says:

      From a few years back. Look it up along with the trial of the officer earlier this year

      “This wasn’t a mistake in the sense that the officer shot the wrong guy or he thought that Kinsey was the bad guy,” Rivera said. “This was a mistake in the sense that he knew or felt that Mr. Kinsey was a victim and was about to lose his life. And rather than sit there and watch nothing, he intended to stop the white male and accidentally shot Mr. Kinsey.”

      Don’t worry. The officer WAS found guilty.
      Of a misdemeanor.
      One misdemeanor count of culpable negligence.
      I believe he’s still working…

  11. Andrew says:

    Wonder why the guy ran away? He must have been guilty of something. Can we get a FISA warrant?

  12. it was an assault umbrella, probably holds 30 100 round clips. (sarc)

  13. SgtBob says:

    Andy: I gave you three bullets Barney, and you missed with every one of them.
    Barney: But, Andy! He was waving a black umbrella!

  14. crazyeighter says:

    Difference is that a drunk-on-his-ass redneck can still shoot better than that. And wouldn’t mistake an umbrella for an AR-15 in the first place.

  15. Bad_Brad says:

    Qualifying with an AR, for the agencies I’ve run into, basically means you can charge the weapon, drop a mag, replace a mag, slap the bolt catch release, and know where the safety is and how to apply it. That’s it. Nothing to do with putting shots on target.

  16. LoL No says:

    If that pig can find a carload of civilians to use as human shields, with that kind of marksmanship, he could RULE floriduh law enforcement within a matter of months…

  17. Allen says:

    Maybe it was one of those bulletproof umbrellas from the kingsmen.

  18. JamesD says:

    Maybe is was one of those very dangerous umbrella’s made by the Penguin?

  19. SmileyFtW says:

    Where did the rounds go? They certainly didn’ vanish into thin air…

  20. Howard Dennard says:

    Typical of todays po-lice, shot first ask questions second

  21. CC says:

    Pig is lucky the intended victim didn’t shoot back – and not miss.

  22. Aesop says:

    So, that institutional policy to only hire officers with IQs from the lows 90s and below is really paying tremendous dividends, isn’t it?

  23. Sanders says:

    Yeah, you’re supposed to zero those sights.

    Put a Vortex Sparc II red dot on an AR and went to zero it. It was 4 ft. right at 50 yards. Now, imagine the joker who put one of those on and never zeroed it…and you have the cop up above.

    BUT – where’s the outrage over him deciding to engage someone with an umbrella using a rifle?

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