Jesus loves you and we do too – if you’re under 60

COTTAGE GROVE, MN (AP) — A struggling Minnesota church is asking its older parishioners to leave in hopes of making it more attractive to young families.

Grove United Methodist Church in the St. Paul suburb of Cottage Grove is closing in June, with plans to relaunch in November. The present members, most of them over 60 years old, will be invited to worship elsewhere, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported. The church is asking that they stay away for two years, then consult the pastor about reapplying.
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23 Responses to Jesus loves you and we do too – if you’re under 60

  1. skipperdaddy says:

    What a dick move.

  2. Nemo says:

    Wait ’til the pastor figures out that the old people are the ones with the money. Dumbass.

    • FrankP says:

      As well as being the ones that actually contribute outside a couple of dollars in the collection plate. Both time AND money.

      Hey, whippersnapper. Watch out for the old folk. If you don’t they might fuck you up.

  3. Tree Mike says:

    I’d guess “Management” is reptilian marketing specialists.

  4. J-West says:

    Hey there rejected seniors … keep filling those pews in defiance and put NO MONEY in the collection plate … starve the ingrate bastards.

  5. DanB says:

    In our church the older pastor retired after 30+ years; his son took over and directed the church toward a younger outreach. Soon many of the older people left of their own choice, along with a number of “older” middle-aged members. He really seemed to have no problem with this until the offerings began to fall as fast as the membership. He didn’t last 5 years.

    Young people can (and must) bring new life to a church. But the older folks tend to give more money.

  6. Peter j parks says:

    I go to the 8AM mass on Sunday. It’s referred to as the old farts mass. I would wager that there may be twenty people less than thirty at that mass. That is out of a count of usually, 140. (I also usher and do head counts)

  7. Sanders says:

    So, they want to turn it into a super-fun-rockband church, it sounds like.

    I’d leave and shake the dust off my shoes and leave a fart behind.

  8. Bright Eyes says:

    Never did take to the big house with all the glitter and glam yet consider myself very spiritual. Some one telling me his/her or some organizations interruption of the bible doesn’t work for me. The outdoors is my cathedral, a stump or log my pew and the babbling brook my holy water. I feel closer to god, the everywhere spirit, the great mother or what ever ya chose to call God out in gods creation than I do a man made structure. In my church nobody gives a shit what yer wearing, if you have the latest hair do, it’s gossip free and doesn’t cost a dime. However, if going to church works for you by all means go.

    • Pagan truth seeker says:

      Technically you’re a Pagan. Many people are and don’t realize it. It’s a good thing, not a bad thing.

      • Bright Eyes says:

        Yup, technically you are correct, if ya don’t do as society dictates you are labeled and put in a box. Don’t go to church, mosque, temple, synagogue or whatever then you are a pagan I reckon. I really never gave it much thought. I sure never claimed to be one.

      • the other other Andrew says:

        Nope. Just because you don’t follow organized religion doesn’t mean you aren’t a Christian.

        I know a lot of people born as Roman Catholics that are all very strong Christians that don’t participate in the Catholic church due to the shit-show that organization has become.

        Same with some Episcopalians and Baptists.

        You can be one with God without being a ‘church member.’

        And the opposite is true.

        If you go to a Christian church but you haven’t accepted God’s word, well, you really aren’t much of a christian at all.

    • J-West says:

      I am big on gratitude, but I cannot assign my good fortune to an invisible friend. To me the invisible has much in common with the non-existent.

      I do subscribe to the sensible teachings of the man called Christ, but the god entity we never actually hear from or see, simply doesn’t resonate with me. it’s too much like believing in things like sea-level rise (caused by driving cars & heating homes) … global warming … political promises from the left … shit like that.

      I don’t believe in magic which is very similar to the supernatural … beliefs are not facts, they are simply things you wish were true.

      My question always is … why or how would a god create a planet where the vast majority have relatively short miserable lives, while others live in luxury and convenience.

      I don’t suggest that communism or socialism or any sort of collectivism is the answer. There is no answer. It is simply, what is …. We must live our own lives as best we can. But we cannot fix what the invisible god screwed up so badly on.

      We must be grateful that we are among the lucky ones who happen live in the western world.

      Sorry for the rant … I’m old and retired and bored …it’s something to do.

      • Cederq says:

        Preach it Brother! I am 110% behind you on this. You expressed it so succinctly and equivalently!

      • John h says:

        Blessed are those who have not seen yet they believe.
        I think in the book of John im not sure. KJV.
        John h

  9. Lutheran says:

    A better plan I’ve heard is that the denomination starts a new church just a few miles away from the dying one. It’s sad to let the old church slowly sink, but it’s probably for the best. One such example is Lutheran Church of Hope in West Des Moines, IA. Hope Church could hardly build new wings fast enough while my father’s older Lutheran church nearby slowly withered. A pastor, not part of either church, told me this is one advantage of a large denomination. They can make a new church to accommodate new believers with changing tastes without dis-inviting the old people.

  10. Ohio Guy says:

    ^ ^ Reptilian marketing specialists ^ ^ Good one.

  11. Dai says:

    NEWS FLASH:
    Grove United Methodist Church in Cottage Grove, MN closes its doors for good less that a year after asking old people to go to other churches. The Pastor is quoted as saying “Well it seamed like a good idea at the time”.

  12. Mac says:

    Methodist say no more

  13. “United Methodist”
    Well, it’s not like it was a Christian Church.

  14. WestcoastDeplorable says:

    Didn’t see anything about the huge controversy among the Meth-heads about the entire “LGBTQRSV” matter….seems the church is splitting into 2 halves and the gays have the upper hand, believe it or don’t. I don’t have a dog in the fight but my dear brother has been active in his local church for decades. I asked him his opinion and he was siding with the gays…but then he was a college professor so there ya go!

    https://www.bizpacreview.com/2020/01/04/united-methodist-church-announces-official-split-over-lgbtq-rights-872015

Play nice.