Gotta remember to keep your valuables locked up

MARCH 11–As the coronavirus scare prompts panicked runs on toilet paper worldwide, a Florida Man was arrested yesterday for the 1 AM theft of some two-ply bath tissue from a neighbor’s vehicle, according to court records.

Police allege that Safraz Shakoor, 25, burglarized a Dodge truck parked in the driveway of a residence a few blocks from his Clearwater home.

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10 Responses to Gotta remember to keep your valuables locked up

  1. Sanders says:

    “Safraz Shakoor” sounds like a fine Irish-American boy.

  2. Tom MacGyver says:

    He’s gonna catch some shit for that… At least he has TP…

  3. bogsidebunny says:

    It’s what happens when the cost of a roll of shit paper reaches parity with a gallon of gas.

  4. Aaron Yetter says:

    I thought the police couldn’t be bothered with crime right now during this crisis.

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